Jacob Rees-Mogg is a twat, confirms Jesus
In a rare public outburst Jesus H Christ has taken to social media to call Jacob Rees-Mogg a "complete twat."
Speaking from his spaceship's jacuzzi...
If Barry Manilow is gay then I’m a Catholic says Pope
Housewives favourite and renowned woman shagger Barry Manilow stunned the world yesterday by finally revealing he's gay.
Good Friday wasn’t one of my best Fridays admits Jesus
Jesus H Christ has taken to social media in support of Tesco saying that, despite claims by religious extremists Good Friday was actually a...
Belinda Carlisle vindicated as Heaven proved to be a place on Earth.
The scientific and religious worlds were in shock yesterday after a newly discovered island in a remote part of the Indian Ocean was found...
‘Corporal punishment should be reinstated’ – people against Sharia law
A recent survey of lobotomised knuckle dragging fuck nuggets revealed that they are fighting against the values that they themselves hold most dear.
We caught...
Man in a frock told us boys shouldn’t wear dresses, say parents suing school...
The parents of a child who saw another boy in a dress at school are suing the school because a man in a frock...
Jesus admits, hollow easter eggs represent my empty promises
Jesus has clarified that hollow chocolate eggs symbolise the hollowness and empty promises at the heart of all religions.
Jesus, or "The Light", as he...
Bishop of Coventry confused over sexuality
The Right Reverend Christopher Cocksworth has admitted to sexual confusion, after screwing up a General Synod vote on gay marriage.
"I didn't know which way...
Man looking for God admits he would be easier to find if he knew...
A Rochdale man has today admitted that it would have been much easier to find God had he known what God looks like.
Garry Bennett began...
Dalai Lama fury over Louis Smith Buddha is a fat bastard comments
The Dalai Lama is said to be incandescently furious with Louis Smith after he was overheard calling Buddha a "fat fucker".
Two time Olympic Pommel...
Paul Nuttall resigns as Archbishop of Canterbury
In a shock move Thursday Paul Nuttall, Member of the European Parliament for North West England EP and leader of the United Kingdom Independence...
Mary and Joseph to appear on the Jeremy Kyle Show following immaculate conception doubts
The parents of Jesus Christ, Mary and Joseph, will appear on a festive edition of the Jeremy Kyle Show next week, following doubts over...
God bothering Stephen Fry to be stoned to death for blasphemy, the pure gobshite
Stephen Fry has been summoned to appear in the Irish Courts to face the charge of breaching the Irish Defamation Act.
It comes after the...
Archbishop Suspended By Labour Over Historically Discredited Old Testament
Labour have suspended Justin Welby, the Archbishop of Canterbury.
In an enquiry it was claimed that the Archbishop, 53, had been reported to the Labour...
Pope declares all good atheists can go to heaven
In a surprise ecumenical encyclical from the Vatican, Pope Francis has indicated that atheists could be allowed to pass through the Pearly Gates and...
Jesus admits to slamming doors of heaven on Jehovah’s Witnesses
There was consternation today as Jesus revealed to The Rochdale Herald that he slams the doors of heaven in the faces of Jehovah's Witnesses.
Jesus...
