There has been a wave of concern regarding universal access to healthcare across the United States after Donald Trump, Mike Pence and the GOP officially repealed Obamacare this week.

“We have hereditary birth defects in my family, and we can’t afford the costs of basic health insurance, let alone the coverage we have another child with a congenital heart defect.” said Anne-Marie McSputnick of Poorsville, Virginia.

The Republicans have proposed sweeping changes to healthcare provision throughout the US replacing expensive medical provision with hoping you’ll get better, praying for a miracle  and crossing your fingers that your children don’t get sick.

“Healthcare under the Obama system was complicated, almost completely comprehensive and most importantly incredibly expensive for US health insurance companies to provide.” A spokesman for the White House told the Herald.

“This way we get a double whammy. We get more people back in to churches praying that their cancer will go away and corporate America gets a bumper dividend from not having to spend money on expensive medicine for people who actually really need it.”

Donald Trump was unavailable for a statement regarding his solution for families who can’t afford health coverage; his VP Mike Pence however said the following

“You really don’t need medicine when you have God. Who needs antibiotics or reconstructive surgery when you have faith? I advise these families to pray. Pray to God that their children are born healthy. Pray they don’t ever suffer an accident or illness. Pray to no longer be poor, Black or Hispanic.”

Asked whether Mike Pence and his family have health insurance he responded.

“Of course, and dental.”


19th century vegetable highwayman/ satirist. Likes: the sound of a solitary house fly loitering hectically around his ear and the feeling of a warm toilet seat. Favourite topic: writing about political intrigue involving biscuits.