Labour have suspended Justin Welby, the Archbishop of Canterbury.

In an enquiry it was claimed that the Archbishop, 53, had been reported to the Labour party after quoting discredited historians and distributing anti-Semitic literature.

Speaking to a large gathering on Sunday morning it is believed that he used anti-Semitic language such as “Jesus”, “Son of God” and “Easter”. Furthermore he;

* Sang songs in English

* Read from “The New Testament”

* Preached that “loving thy neighbour” was good but “shelling children with phosphorous” was bad

* Encouraged people to engage in commerce on the Sabbath at “St Swithens Bring & Buy Sale” as “4 keys have fallen off the organ and we won’t be able to sing ‘All Things Bright & Beautiful’ until its fixed”

A spokesman for the Labour Party said “Whilst he may have done good works in the past he has tarnished his legacy. Claiming that he was only stating fact is no defence when those “facts” come from the discredited work such as “The Gospels According to John, Paul, George & Ringo”