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Nosmo King

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Shit sandwiches start to taste better after you have swallowed the first bite, David...

Following the Government's success in the Great Repeal Act, Brexit Secretary David Davies has moved to assure Parliament that the lingering taste of this...
Michael Fish

Michael Fish assures Virgin Island residents that “no hurricane on the way”

Famous weather broadcaster Michael Fish has moved to reassure British Virgin Island residents that there isn't going to be another hurricane hitting them. However he...
Kim Jong Un

Kim Jong-un claims North Korea ‘now a Hurricane Power’ after successful Atlantic test

North Korean leader Kim Jong-un praised the "perfect success" of the country's third and largest Hurricane test and urged further weather development. According to state...

Clive Dunn in Nazi uniform outrage

Dad's Army Star Clive Dunn has apologised after being pictured wearing a Nazi uniform. The Sun on Sunday published pictures of the celebrity actor and...
McDonald's

Life expectancy soars in Wolverhampton after McDonalds strike for 2 days

Experts say that life expectancy in Wolverhampton has soared after the McDonalds on Dudley Street was closed on Monday and Tuesday due to strike...
Kate Middleton

Royal Baby ‘pretty unlikely to be ginger’ say Palace sources

Buckingham Palace sources have told The Rochdale Herald that it is "pretty bloody unlikely" that the next Royal baby will be a ginger. They...
Trucks

Driverless Lorries to throw bottles of piss out of windows and murder hitch-hikers by...

In a dramatic step of unmanned vehicle technology, unmanned lorries will be distributing litter at motorway junctions and "disappear" young hitchhikers by the end...
Michael Gove

Thunderbird puppet with condom over his head to play Michael Gove in Brexit Movie

Beating off a host of A-listers, producers have today announced that the starring role of Michael Gove in their upcoming blockbuster has gone to...
Obi Wan Kenobi

‘What happened on Alderaan was terrible but I condemn the violence done by all...

Obi Wan Kenobi, under pressure from Yoda and other members of the ghost Jedi Council to condemn the destruction of Alderaan, has issued a...
Rachael Tripp

Woman’s Instagram post about husband’s small penis causes backlash

A wife's Instagram post about loving her husband's "cashew" sized penis has sparked a backlash online about just how dumb her husband is. American...

Corbyn finally condemns Chavez ‘He didn’t shoot enough rich people, happy now?’

In a statement from the Department of People's Truth, Jeremy Corbyn "has not bowed to pressure of the Western lapdog media but instead led...
French Military

French Head of Military resigns after Macron cuts £1bn from White Flag Budget

General Pierre de Villiers today sensationally quit as Head of the French Military in a row over cuts to the French White Flag budget. General...
Sad Man

Record complaints at Ofcom as latest episode of ‘Tits and Swords’ contains no tits

Switchboards at UK TV regulators Ofcom were jammed last night after the eagerly anticipated first episode of the new series of Game of Thrones...
Bully

Calling bullies bullies is bullying say bullies

Support groups representing bullies are calling for the term bully to be banned. They claim it is a negative and pejorative phrase and leaves...
John Inverdale

Konta tipped to be “a solid 6” when John Inverdale’s 2017 Sexist Gaffes are...

Finals Weekend at The Championships in Wimbledon is fast approaching and that can only mean one thing…the eagerly awaited 2017 Sexist Gaffes list from...
Ross and Rachel

Chilcot Report reveals Ross and Rachel WERE on a break

With the kind of speed, thoroughness and ability to keep his finger on Britain’s zeitgeist that has come to be expected from him, the...

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