Following the United States decision to recognise Jerusalem as the capital of Israel, the Palestinian authorities have entered into the spirit of things and decided to arbitrarily shift the capital of The United States to England.

In a move which will surprise many, the Palestinians announced yesterday that the capital of The United States will from now on, be the Lincolnshire steel town of Scunthorpe. Eagle eyed readers – but not necessarily all Americans – will have noticed that Scunthorpe isn’t even in the United States.

A spokesperson for the Palestinian movement said “I know this will come as a surprise to many people but we thought long and hard before coming to the decision. We considered a number of options, but in the end decided to kill two birds with one stone. For many years the English have puzzled over the conundrum of “Who put the c**t in Scunthorpe?”. Well now they know the answer. It was the Palestinians.”

A spokesperson for President Trump said the President would not be commenting on the announcement until he’s consulted his Children’s Atlas Of Far Away Lands and had someone explain the joke to him.