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Nosmo King

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Theresa May

May dissolves Parliament and calls snap General Election

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Theresa May has called a snap general election claiming that divisions at Westminster risked hampering the Brexit negotiations. The Prime Minister will require the support...
Catalonia

Spain apologises to Catalonia saying I’m sorry you made me hit you

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THE SPANISH GOVERNMENT'S representative in Catalonia has, sort of, apologised to those injured by the Iberian Stasi during Sunday's independence referendum. Enric Millo, playing the...

Wolverhampton and Dudley will declare independence from the West Midlands ‘in a matter of...

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Wolverhampton & Dudley will declare independence from the West Midlands in a matter of days, the leader of the autonomous region has told the...
Donald Trump

Trump in hiding as NRA call for curb ‘on rapid fire tools’

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DONALD TRUMP is believed to be in hiding tonight after the National Rifle Association called for a clamp-down on “rapid fire tools”. This has been...

Crossfit cult ‘survivor’ makes full recovery after being rescued

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A former member of the cult of Crossfit, Steve ‘Tits’ Day, has spoken for the first time having made a full recovery from his formerly...

Waitrose appoint new Head of Egg Hiding

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Supermarket giant Waitrose today announced the appointment of Alex Bell as the new Head of Egg Hiding. Proudly the UK market leader in un-helpful shop...

Had an accident that wasn’t your fault? No? Want one? – Rochdale Herald TripsAdvisor...

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Have you had an accident that wasn't your fault and that could net you £thousands in compensation? No? Well do you want one? Today the...
Ryanair

Jeremy Corbyn says Labour will Nationalise RyanAir

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Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has layed out plans to take RyanAir into public ownership alongside the railways and the Royal Mail in a radical...
Playboy Mansion

RSPCA desperately seeking forever homes for 45 bunnies rescued from ‘Bunny Farm’ in California

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A RSPCA spokesman in Nantwich is urgently looking for 45 'new residents rescued from what he described as 'the biggest bunny farm they had...

Wales announces plans to be available in colour by 2022

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The Welsh national Assembly has announced plans for Cardiff to be available in colour from 2022. Cardiff will be the first City in Wales...
Right-hand drive chaos

Yorkshire driving ban on women to be lifted

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The King of Yorkshire, His Majesty Geoffrey Boycott the first, has issued a decree allowing women to drive within the Sovereign state for the...

Men warned not to date clever & pretty girls who might get “a bit...

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A Judge has warned men that they only have themselves to blame if they date very clever, very pretty girls who are "a bit...

Trump travel ban extends to Narnia

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President Donald Trump last night signed an Executive Order adding Narnia to the travel ban and immediately excluding "followers of Aslan" from entering the...

BBC apologise for penis in background of May the Queen Bee

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The BBC and producers of Prime Minister's Question Time show, May the Queen Bee, have today apologised for an offensive penis that appeared in...

Labour Proposes New Tax on Books

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Labour Party Central Office has announced that it would consider forcing book publishers to pay a levy to help pay for Momentum leaflets and...

Shit sandwiches start to taste better after you have swallowed the first bite, David...

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Following the Government's success in the Great Repeal Act, Brexit Secretary David Davies has moved to assure Parliament that the lingering taste of this...

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