Wolverhampton & Dudley will declare independence from the West Midlands in a matter of days, the leader of the autonomous region has told the Rochdale Herald.
Following a heated meeting on Sunday at Mad O’Rourke’s Pie Factory in Tipton, a vote was held and leaders of the Staffordshire colonists signed a Declaration of Independence written on the back of the pub menu.
In his first interview since the disputed vote on Sunday, Barry Haskins said his government would “act at the end of this week or the beginning of next” although having completed the 4lb Cow Pie Challenge and had 7 pints of Lump Hammer Ale “it could take a while before I’m back on my feet”
Meanwhile Birmingham leader Peoples Chairman Caroline Underwood said the vote’s organisers had put themselves “outside the law”. She said the situation in Sandwell was “extremely serious”, and called for unity. Attempts to prevent the vote from taking place by sending in riot Police to break it up didn’t materialise as Ms Underwood said “getting Police to work on a Sunday is a absolute nightmare”
Tensions between the West Midlands and the north-eastern Yam-Yam region continue to mount. Leader of the People’s Republic of Walsall, Mike Bird, said that the town was preparing to take a massive influx of refugees.
“We are preparing to take a massive influx of refugees” he said “and we have set up passport control at the Showcase Cinema on Junction 10 of the M6”
However, critics were swift to point out that if Wolverhampton & Dudley were to leave the West Midlands they would not be able to stay in the Black Pudding Free Trade zone and that supplies of Pork Scratchings from Wednesbury would be in doubt.
Mad O’Rourke’s have already taken Black Pudding Thermidor off the menu in preparation.