A Judge has warned men that they only have themselves to blame if they date very clever, very pretty girls who are “a bit stabby.”

Judge Salted Pringle said that male victims often have themselves to blame and that their clothes, short hair and irritating behaviour could lead girls on “to shiv them”. He also said that in a number of cases, the man was “asking for it”

However, men not-getting-stabbed campaigner Garth Brooks said there was already a problem with male victims of crime not getting justice because “if they are not as pretty or as clever as a girl then society won’t take them seriously”. Mr Brooks of “I Shiv You Not” was speaking from a secret location, alone in the woods, where no pretty women could hear him.

“When male victims see this recent case, to them it will actually enforce that view, that getting stabbed is their own fault,” he told the Press Association from his place in hiding.

The stabbing happened on December 30 last year when the un-named man, left the toilet seat up. It is believed that earlier in the day he hadn’t made the bed and compounded the error by putting his dirty socks on the washing basket rather than in it. He realised his assailant had been drinking and when he failed to notice her new hair colour she became “extremely angry” and began throwing objects, before stabbing him in the leg with a bread knife.

Jane Sturman QC, defending, told the court on “He was definitely asking for it. I mean, look at his short hair! Dying for it!”

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