Celebrity Big Brother

Big Brother to launch Celebrity version with actual celebrities in 2019

Producers of smash-hit and hugely relevant TV show Big Brother have announced a new twist for 2019....actual celebrities will enter the Big Brother house for the first time.The show, available ad nauseam on Channel...
New Year Eve Party

Do we really, really, really have to go out, asks everyone

Everybody in the UK has collectively asked if they really, really, really have to go out now that they've gone through the fun bit of getting ready.People around the country who are about to...

“I don’t believe in that fat old man in the dodgy suit” says Santa...

Father Christmas has come out in a blistering denunciation of Donald Trump today, stating categorically that he doesn't believe in him.In an interview with the Rochdale Herald, he spoke candidly."How can that fat old...

Panic across UK as white substance continues to fall from sky

A state of emergency has been declared in a number of regions after a strange white substance fell from the sky recently.As councils were caught out, the white stuff fell in amounts not...
David Davis

David Davis tells Select Committee the dog ate his Brexit Impact Assessment

David Davis, the Secretary for Probably Exiting the European Union, has confirmed to the House of Lords Select Committee that he has definitely done the financial analysis that is due to be handed in...
Tapas

Tapas actually Spanish for ‘not enough food’ confirms Spain

Spain has confessed to the international community today that the word Tapas actually translates as 'not enough food'. The revelation comes after local office drone Steve Dickinson, 42 and a half, lodged a formal complaint...
Blackhole

Physicists discover Brexit actually a black hole that feeds on political parties

The astrophysics world has been in overdrive this week at the announcement of a newly discovered black hole located somewhere over the English Channel.The cosmological anomaly is said to have appeared sometime around the...
Bearded hipster coffee

Artisan coffee is actually just coffee, admits pretentious twat

A pretentious twat from Rochdale has admitted that so-called artisan coffee is actually just the same as all other coffee, just a bit more of a hassle to make and more expensive.Bojangles St Claire,...

Clean-shaven white van man obviously failed by mental health services

A clean-shaven, white man has been arrested outside a Mosque in Finsbury, London, after his van veered off the road and directly into eleven bearded brown men.Reports are sketchy currently, but using information pieced...

Leave voters incensed as EU threatens to take away Continental summer weather

Leave voters voiced their anger today as the EU threatened to take away the Continental weather that sees England baking in sunshine and heat normally only felt on package holidays in Continental Europe.Jean-Claude Junker...

Theresa May establishes Disaster Committee to “get ahead of the game”

Theresa May reassured a worried nation today by giving David Davis extra responsibility when she appointed him head of the newly formed Disaster Committee.It's a move aimed to underline her administration's reputation for consistency.It's hoped...

10 injured after multi trolley pile up in dash to newly opened til at...

Reports are coming in that there has been a serious collision at Middleton Lidl. It is believed the carnage was a result of an inexperienced cashier calling for a new till to be open.So far...

“It’s time to take back control”, writes The Queen

One's elected representatives are a complete shambles, One writes. One will not invite any of the proffered candidates to form a government. Instead one will lead the country oneself.In times of crisis a leader...

Labour voter’s sciatica cured after Corbyn hug

Rochdale Labour voter Kyle Henderson has told the Herald how his sciatica was cured after he hugged Jeremy Corbyn at a Labour election rally.Mr Henderson has spent the past 3 years unable to straighten...

Ecuadorian Ambassador contacts No. 10 “We are here if you need us”

The Ecuadorian embassy has reached out to 10 Downing Street from its Knightsbridge address to tell Ms May, "We are here if you need us".The Ecuadorian embassy gained national fame in the UK on 19...

Downing Street orders all fans removed as Storm Stable hits UK

Theresa May has ordered all fans removed from government premises immediately to limit the damage of Storm Stable.The storm is already sweeping across the Westminster area and is expected to cover the entire country...

Follow us

44,751FansLike
50FollowersFollow
18,423FollowersFollow
13,918FollowersFollow

Popular Posts