Young children advised to wash hands after licking floors, walls, windows, banister rails and...
Young children around the UK have been advised that the best way to stop the spread of Coronavirus is by thoroughly washing their hands...
Big Fat Secret Santa Appeal – 2,329 Gifts bought in four days
Four days ago we launched our Big Fat Secret Santa appeal with the wonderful guys and girls at NewsThump, Southend News Network, Angry People...
Democracy to be redefined “betterthedevilyaknowocracy”
The linguistic and lexicogaphical boffins at Oxford and Cambridge have agreed that the term democracy needs to be scrapped and replaced with something more...
Big Brother to launch Celebrity version with actual celebrities in 2019
Producers of smash-hit and hugely relevant TV show Big Brother have announced a new twist for 2019....actual celebrities will enter the Big Brother house...
It’s impossible to sandpaper a netball, concede Australians
Long standing dominance of sport by Australia and New Zealand ended by incredible English performance
Some say Australian carpentry skill brings them closer to Christ....
Cat who shit in litter tray lined with Daily Mail appointed editor
A cat who took a poo in a litter tray lined with a copy of the Daily Mail has been named as new editor...
Alabama legislature confirms blacks still welcome to get abortions or be shot by police
Emergency session of Alabama state legislature passes important exemption
In an emergency session of the Alabama state legislature, State Senator Garlan Gudger proposed an amendment...
Brexiters excited to leave the EU posthumously
According to a recent poll, Leave voters up and down the country are excited at the prospect of leaving the EU posthumously.
Following continuous delays...
Panic grips nation as Britain realises Boris is in charge
Supermarkets across the land are fast running out of canned goods and bottled water and survivalist websites across the world are crashing as thousands...
Young people cause cancer Daily Mail warns
The Daily Mail has exclusively revealed that British youth is causing cancer.
In its article on the subject the Mail pointed out that British youths...
Shops barely containing their desire to unload Christmas tat
Rochdale trading standards office has revealed it has been inundated with complaints about retailers desperate to begin selling their Christmas wares.
Officer Colin McNigelson told...
Flag waving celebration of mythical empire shouldn’t be ruined by cheap politics
The Last Night at the Proms, an event where ex public school toffs wave the Union Flag in celebration of a completely made up...
Saudi Women win right to be dumped by text
In a landmark ruling in Saudi Arabia women have finally won the right to be dumped by text message.
The victory follows the incredible shift...
Trump to produce new range of fragrances
Donald Trump is to collaborate with daughter Ivanka to produce a new range of perfumes.
The first daughter said "This new range reflects...
Man Wastes Full Day watching repeats of Come Dine with Me
Distraught butcher Brendan Slaughter from Wigan was mortified to learn that it was 9:00pm last Sunday night when he had work at 5:00am.
"I was...
There should be a free press like that Iranian TV channel I work for,...
Jeremy Corby has announced plans to shake up the media and make it more sympathetic to him and the Labour Party going forward.
The...
