Poll shows only 20% of American 7-year-olds believe in Donald Trump
A survey conducted by the Maryland Institute of Toddlerdom (MIT) yesterday proved that while 60 per cent of 7 year olds in the USA...
Britain buoyed by approval of Autumn Olympics
There were wild scenes of celebration from keen athletics fans up and down the UK this morning, as the head of the Seasonal Olympics...
‘It’s pronounced KWINAH, you pretentious f*ckwits’ confirms Quinoa
Middle class consumers were left reeling today after one of the much beloved 'super foods' they incessantly extol the virtues of confirmed that everyone...
Cabinet to wear face masks during Cobra meeting as precaution against Coronavirus
The prime minister and senior members of the cabinet are to wear full face masks during today's Cobra meeting to decide whether to bring...
Danczuk not immolated in Bonfire accident
Rochdale Herald readers will be disappointed to hear that the rumours that pornography enthusiast Simon Danczuk MP immolated himself lighting a bonfire in July...
Herald wins “Satirical Web Page of the Year”
It's a day of celebration at the Rochdale Herald as we are delighted to announce we have won Satirical Web Page of the Year...
Fillies to continue racing as outbreak confirmed as equine equivalent of ‘man flu’.
Initial reports that all racing in the U.K. was to be suspended have proved to be unfounded after vets have confirmed that the outbreak...
Specialists called in after Yorkshireman with Aussie flu says “G’day mate”
A Yorkshire man has been rushed to hospital after it was suspected he had the most serious strain of the Aussie flu virus known...
Israel launches airstrike on anti-semitic moon after spacecraft crash
The first privately funded mission to the moon has had an apparent failure resulting in a crash.
The Israeli spacecraft called Beresheet had been sent...
Vegetable that looks like Prince Charles discovered on Rochdale allotment
A Rochdale man has spoken to us about vegetable he has found that looks remarkably like Prince Charles.
Bill Board told us, "It was last...
Twats on train don’t know they’re twats
A large group of noisy twats on a train from London to Yorkshire are apparently unaware that they are all colossal twats.
The group, who...
Goldie melts down OBE to replace pawned gold tooth
DJ and alleged actor, Goldie, has vowed to melt down his MBE under the guise of moral outrage about some club somewhere closing down.
The...
Definitely no division in Tory Party, says independent and unbiased media
There aren't any massive splits over the subject of Brexit or abandoned economic plans within the Conservative Party, reported media outlets through their silence...
Corbyn Sits Down for the Working Class…..Again…..
Spending a football match without a seat, crushed up against other supporters in the stand, or crouched uncomfortably in the gangway is an all-too-absolutely-never-happens...
Everyone on Facebook now an expert in neuroscience
It's been revealed that millions of Britons on Facebook are now experts in neuroscience.
The revelation comes just weeks after millions of people were found...
Standard government response to petitions revealed to be – F&@k off Plebs
The trend in starting parliamentary petitions seems finally to be tapering off. We asked serial petition-starter Si Neer why he thinks that might be:
"It's...
