Definitely no division in Tory Party, says independent and unbiased media 

There aren't any massive splits over the subject of Brexit or abandoned economic plans within the Conservative Party, reported media outlets through their silence this week.  However the Labour Party is in chaos after someone...

House of Commons Toilets to Close in wake of Fabric Closure

After the closure of the famous London nightclub Fabric by Islington council, due to people taking drugs there, it was announced today that the the toilets in the House of Commons are also to...

Rochdale woman not ready to tell friends she’s “OK thanks, bbz”

A Rochdale woman today refused to confirm whether she was alright or not, following a passive aggressive cry for attention on Facebook.  The woman, 32 year old Helen, posted a Facebook status at 8.06am saying...

Downing Street orders all fans removed as Storm Stable hits UK

Theresa May has ordered all fans removed from government premises immediately to limit the damage of Storm Stable. The storm is already sweeping across the Westminster area and is expected to cover the entire country...

Shops barely containing their desire to unload Christmas tat

Rochdale trading standards office has revealed it has been inundated with complaints about retailers desperate to begin selling their Christmas wares.  Officer Colin McNigelson told the Herald that this past weekend has seen complaints about...
Santa with presents

8,179 presents worth more than £61,400 bought for disadvantaged children

You guys are incredible. Less than twelve hours ago we learned through Angry People in Local Newspapers that the gift appeal for poor children in Fife was struggling to find gifts for 600 children.  Today...

Chris Evans to host new BBC bake off show

Red headed billionaire Christopher Evans has been confirmed as the new host of the Beeb's brand new baking show designed to take the place of their previous smash hit since losing the rights to...
Surprised Santa

The Big Fat Secret Santa Appeal – 1,600 gifts bought in 48 hours

Two days ago we launched our Big Fat Secret Santa appeal with the wonderful guys and girls at NewsThump, Southend News Network, Angry People in Local Papers, BFNN and Tuckered to buy presents for...
Scientist

Scientists warn firing Formula 1 grid girls will lead to increase in race related...

Science - In a leaked Sport England research paper, several sports scientists have warned over the removal of the usual checks and balances deployed by boring sports to keep men in check. "Removing grid girls,...
Daily Mail Readers

Panic over as Daily Mail assures everyone the fridge wasn’t bought by a white...

The Mail-online has sought to reassure readers that it was a slack-jawed, lazy, drunken black man who bought the fridge that started the Grenfell tower blaze. The 'news source' which has access to files that...

Road naming honour for Info Wars ‘journalist’ Paul Watson in his home town of...

In a bid to balance the left leaning opinions of Mayor Magid Magid, Sheffield City Council have unveiled a new road in the south of the city which has been named after Right-Wing commentator,...

Local Man PROMISES he’s only drinking Strongbow Dark Fruit ‘because it’s sunny’

A local man has insisted that he doesn't normally drink Strongbow Dark Fruit, but when it's sunny outside 'everybody does it'. Usually opting for an IPA, Guinness or Craft Beer, rather than a fruity cider,...

Facebook Users Don’t Twist Tragedy Into Confirmation of Their Worldview

A man and a woman managed to see news stories shared on Facebook today without thinking it proved what they already believe.  Duncan Merchant from Rochdale, 35, and Chloe S Patton from Leicester, 44, saw...

Zuckerberg didn’t appear UK hearing as he only responds to being “Poked” on Facebook

Mark Zuckerberg didn't attend a hearing in the United Kingdom because he would like to be informed via digital poke A Parliamentary spokesman said, "Mark Zuckerberg is a hard individual to get ahold of. The...

Win Win Win with The Herald! We are giving away year’s free membership to...

That's right it's not a typo, we are feeling generous today at The Herald after an out of court settlement with them southern softies at SNN. To celebrate one lucky reader could be in with...

Man who doesn’t support party leader confused by people not supporting party leader 

Bespectacled centrist Labour Party leadership candidate Owen Smith has questioned whether or not the audience at a Glasgow hustings were "entryists." This was because the audience laughed when he said that the Scottish Labour Kezia...

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