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Supermarkets across the land are fast running out of canned goods and bottled water and survivalist websites across the world are crashing as thousands of terrified yet stoic Britons rush to build fall out...

The Department for Transport has today revealed that its works to upgrade sections of the M6 and M1 to 'Smart' motorways have taken so long that they have passed through Smart and into 'Rather...

Freddie Mercury, lead singer of rock sensations Queen, has been commemorated with a blue plaque at his former family home in Feltham.  However, in a surprising revelation, online newspaper Getwestlondon.co.uk have confirmed what many of...

The UK is a gigantic American prison according to balding conspiracist and radio gob Alex Jones- and Rochdale is the proof. The 42 year old- no, seriously we checked; he only looks 50+; said that...

Distraught butcher Brendan Slaughter from Wigan was mortified to learn that it was 9:00pm last Sunday night when he had work at 5:00am.  "I was fuming" he said. "I've not had a day off in...

A large group of noisy twats on a train from London to Yorkshire are apparently unaware that they are all colossal twats. The group, who appear to be actors in their mid twenties, have been...

The Conservative Party is facing a huge crisis today after its entire membership was arrested during a clampdown on middle class cocaine users. PC Drug-Bust McGee told us, "We'd heard there was a huge gathering...

A Rochdale man has spoken to us about vegetable he has found that looks remarkably like Prince Charles.  Bill Board told us, "It was last Saturday that I found it. I saw it sticking out...

Former Defence Secretary, Gavin Williamson has declared war on schools mere hours after being appointed Education Secretary. His secret plan, which he immediately leaked, is to launch targeted drone strikes on underachieving schools as encouragement...

Leave voters voiced their anger today as the EU threatened to take away the Continental weather that sees England baking in sunshine and heat normally only felt on package holidays in Continental Europe. Jean-Claude Junker...

LLocal woman Mia Wombley has been telling everyone she knows about the horrendous new legislation in Alabama.  Local senators, duelling their banjo strings, have asserted the importance of men to control women's bodies before,...

As far as flash in the pan fashion trends go the 2015-2016 beard pandemic appears to be showing no sign of relenting with sales of beards and lumberjack accessories continuing to soar. The forecast is...

Foreign Secretary Dominic Raab prompted fresh criticism today after claiming that the 'Hitler salute' frequently used by members of the far-right was 'just a bit of fun' that originated from the 1980's TV sitcom...

A man has expressed his disappointment at his inability to interrupt the wedding of the woman he loves due to lack of wheelchair access. David Hawkins, 27, of Rochdale had spent the day of the...

Nigel Farage's successor will be announced at UKIP's Bournemouth conference tomorrow but a party insider has let slip that his replacement will be Nigel Farage. "It's going to be Nigel" said Arthur Brane, Chairman of...

Boris Johnson has finally got into the spirit of Christmas by ordering a massive census of everybody in the UK and slaughtering all of the first-born children. The news comes on the anniversary of the...