House of Commons Toilets to Close in wake of Fabric Closure
After the closure of the famous London nightclub Fabric by Islington council, due to people taking drugs there, it was announced today that the...
Local woman wins award for most middle class comment 2016
A local woman has won Rochdale's coveted "Most Middle Class Comment 2016" at a dinner party this weekend.
Barbara Dickinson was attending a dinner party...
Britain First Supporters admit it’s a waste of time trying to change their opinions
Die hard Britain First members have today confirmed that there is absolutely no point in trying to get them to change their opinions by...
Firms reports record customer satisfaction levels after using cocaine delivery gang to deliver parcels
Delivery firms that specialise in not delivering your parcels have reported a huge increase in customer satisfaction levels.
The news comes following the companies use...
A1 renamed The Dominic Cummings Expressway
The A1(M) between Aberford and Durham has been officially redesignated the Dominic Cummings Expressway in recognition of its primary purpose of conveying the 'Special'...
Catholic Priests in Ampleforth School Kiddy Fiddling Shocker
In shock revelations that will shake the Roman Catholic Church to its very foundations, stories are emerging alleging child sex abuses and so called...
Oven ready chicken refuses to leave fridge
Despite professing for weeks that he was much more oven ready than 'that Turkey Corbyn', the world's largest chicken has refused to leave a...
Britain’s first halal food bank to open in Rochdale
News that the UK's first halal food bank is to open in Rochdale this week was greeted enthusiastically by local residents and village elders...
Man fakes own death to avoid helping mum set up new iPhone
A Rochdale man has been found alive and well living in Panama after apparently faking his own death in a canoeing accident at Greenbooth...
For Fuck’s Sake, sighs Britain
The entire United Kingdom muttered "for fuck's sake" in unision yesterday afternoon after learning that Boris Johnson has been "elected: new Conservative leader and...
Panic across UK as white substance continues to fall from sky
A state of emergency has been declared in a number of regions after a strange white substance fell from the sky recently.
As councils...
Death, Taxes and Rail Fare rises
A report issued by the TUC today shows that rail fares are rising twice as fast as commuters levels of despair. The trades union...
4,000 job cuts at HSBC after Columbian drug cartels move accounts to Barclays
HSBC has told investors today that around 2% of the company's workforce will be made redundant with the focus on anybody who hasn't got...
Queen celebrates being 22 in lizard years
The Queen has celebrated being 22 in lizard years today.
David Attenborough was there to capture the celebrations and was able to give the...
Anglican bishop changes Facebook relationship status to – it’s complicated
Bishop of Grantham Nicholas Chamberlain this morning changed his Facebook relationship to: "it's complicated!" Although being in a relationship with a man he stresses...
Kids Don’t Spend Enough Time Outside, Moan Papers That have Spent Three Decades Convincing...
Several newspapers are complaining that today's kids spend less than half the time playing out as their parents did after a survey from The...
