Cat who shit in litter tray lined with Daily Mail appointed editor
A cat who took a poo in a litter tray lined with a copy of the Daily Mail has been named as new editor...
Southern Rail raise prices by £40 to pay for new Indian style trains to...
Beleaguered train operator Southern Rail has unveiled an ambitious new programme of investment to address overcrowding issues on commuter routes into London.
The strike beset...
A1 renamed The Dominic Cummings Expressway
The A1(M) between Aberford and Durham has been officially redesignated the Dominic Cummings Expressway in recognition of its primary purpose of conveying the 'Special'...
Rochdale woman not ready to tell friends she’s “OK thanks, bbz”
A Rochdale woman today refused to confirm whether she was alright or not, following a passive aggressive cry for attention on Facebook.
The woman, 32...
Galloway Still Not Gone Away
Scotland's answer to Simon Danczuk, George Clementine Galloway, is inexplicably in the news again despite not being on Celebrity Big Brother.
The ex-Labour MP...
Anne Widdecombe symbolically frees her slave
Following her first speech in the European Parliament, we have avoided the term 'maiden speech' as all her speeches are maiden, Anne Widdecombe has...
Leave voters incensed as EU threatens to take away Continental summer weather
Leave voters voiced their anger today as the EU threatened to take away the Continental weather that sees England baking in sunshine and heat...
David Davis tells Select Committee the dog ate his Brexit Impact Assessment
David Davis, the Secretary for Probably Exiting the European Union, has confirmed to the House of Lords Select Committee that he has definitely done...
Convertible car owner not as smug after leaving the top down last night
Sandra Numpton of Heywood has spent the last few days driving around in her convertible Mini Cooper, sun glasses on, hair in the wind,...
10 injured after multi trolley pile up in dash to newly opened til at...
Reports are coming in that there has been a serious collision at Middleton Lidl. It is believed the carnage was a result of an inexperienced...
Lack of mud and misery makes Coachella not a real festival, experts reveal
A group of specialists have confirmed that without rain, mud and warm cider, Coachella is actually not a real festival.
Despite there being music, dancing...
New Year to be rung in with chimes of Brussels Cathedral
Engineers have said it is unlikely they will be able to restore the chimes of Big Ben in time for New Year's Eve.
Chief...
Everyone on Facebook now an expert in neuroscience
It's been revealed that millions of Britons on Facebook are now experts in neuroscience.
The revelation comes just weeks after millions of people were found...
Airlines grounded for Black Death containment
Jeremy Rhymes-With has ordered the gargantuan and wealthy NHS to enact its Black Death emergency plan.
Most of the staff were just weaving baskets anyway...
Standard government response to petitions revealed to be – F&@k off Plebs
The trend in starting parliamentary petitions seems finally to be tapering off. We asked serial petition-starter Si Neer why he thinks that might be:
"It's...
Night tube wonderful, say apprentice journalists through gritted teeth
Scores of young, underpaid trainee journalists have been drowsily typing up their reviews of the night tube over the last two mornings as their...
