Scientists

‘How many roads must a man walk down before he can call himself a...

Researchers have proved that the number of roads a man must walk down before you call him a man is greater than, or equal...
Brussels Cathedral

New Year to be rung in with chimes of Brussels Cathedral

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Engineers have said it is unlikely they will be able to restore the chimes of Big Ben in time for New Year's Eve. Chief...

Greta Thunberg releases Scandinavian Death Metal album.

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The music world has been surprised by the release of an album by Greta Thunberg and the Prophets of Doom, a new death metal...

Britain’s first halal food bank to open in Rochdale

News that the UK's first halal food bank is to open in Rochdale this week was greeted enthusiastically by local residents and village elders...

Man fakes own death to avoid helping mum set up new iPhone

A Rochdale man has been found alive and well living in Panama after apparently faking his own death in a canoeing accident at Greenbooth...

Twats on train don’t know they’re twats

A large group of noisy twats on a train from London to Yorkshire are apparently unaware that they are all colossal twats. The group, who...
Nuclear Bomb

Only a good guy with a nuclear weapon can stop a bad guy with...

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The only way to stop a bad guy with a nuclear weapon is a good guy with a nuclear weapon. That's according to the...
New Year Eve Party

Do we really, really, really have to go out, asks everyone

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Everybody in the UK has collectively asked if they really, really, really have to go out now that they've gone through the fun bit...

SWP sees huge growth in membership, or is it the SDP, or maybe the...

Rochdale Socialist Worker Party member and activist, Quentin Lennon, was celebrating today after finding out that he is part of the biggest political party...

Leave voters incensed as EU threatens to take away Continental summer weather

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Leave voters voiced their anger today as the EU threatened to take away the Continental weather that sees England baking in sunshine and heat...
Writer

Democracy to be redefined  “betterthedevilyaknowocracy”

The linguistic and lexicogaphical boffins at Oxford and Cambridge have agreed that the term democracy needs to be scrapped and replaced with something more...

Boris Johnson gets into Christmas spirit by ordering massive census and slaughter of children

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Boris Johnson has finally got into the spirit of Christmas by ordering a massive census of everybody in the UK and slaughtering all of...
Celebrity Big Brother

Big Brother to launch Celebrity version with actual celebrities in 2019

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Producers of smash-hit and hugely relevant TV show Big Brother have announced a new twist for 2019....actual celebrities will enter the Big Brother house...

Southern Rail raise prices by £40 to pay for new Indian style trains to...

Beleaguered train operator Southern Rail has unveiled an ambitious new programme of investment to address overcrowding issues on commuter routes into London. The strike beset...

Beards still cool, insists man with beard

As far as flash in the pan fashion trends go the 2015-2016 beard pandemic appears to be showing no sign of relenting with sales...
Santa with presents

Big Fat Secret Santa Appeal – 2,329 Gifts bought in four days

Four days ago we launched our Big Fat Secret Santa appeal with the wonderful guys and girls at NewsThump, Southend News Network, Angry People...

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