Surprised Santa

The Big Fat Secret Santa Appeal – 1,600 gifts bought in 48 hours

Two days ago we launched our Big Fat Secret Santa appeal with the wonderful guys and girls at NewsThump, Southend News Network, Angry People in Local Papers, BFNN and Tuckered to buy presents for...

Panic grips nation as Britain realises Boris is in charge

Supermarkets across the land are fast running out of canned goods and bottled water and survivalist websites across the world are crashing as thousands of terrified yet stoic Britons rush to build fall out...

If sausage rolls were made out of Piers Morgan we’d make an exception, confirm...

Vegans around the UK have unanimously voted to have Piers Morgan reclassified as a vegetable so that they can murder and eat him, according to reports. The news comes...

UK Satirists mourn the death of Sir Antony Jay

Sir Antony Jay, the creator of Yes Minister has died taking with him UK satire. All we have left is the equivalent of a thousand news readers flinging their own excrement at a cardboard...
Celebrating Santa

WOW! SECRET SANTA UPDATE – 2,644 presents and £21,570 raised

The Big Fat Secret Santa appeal we're running with NewsThump, Southend News Network, Angry People in Local Papers and Tuckered is really gathering steam now. So far you've bought 2,644 presents. We think that...

Internet user deliberately clicks on pop-over advert and makes history 

A man from Bury in Lancashire has deliberately and purposefully clicked on a pop up ad that covered the entirety of the content he was trying to view. "I couldn't believe it," said Wesley Peabody,...

Travel Chaos Hailed as “Complete Success” by French.

French authorities today claimed that their test of the post-Brexit border checks was a complete success, with motorists in Kent delayed for hours and complete gridlock in some areas. The Herald managed to speak to...

Knob-head hand gesture at lowest levels since records began

A recent poll has revealed that this once loved insult has seen a sudden decline in use, and could be completely extinct by the year 2025. For years, the simple hand gesture was a staple...

Amateur Orthopaedic Surgeon not as good as expert – concedes Brexit voter sick of...

Following months of "expert fatigue" the British public may now be prepared to start listening to people who know what they're fucking talking about. Following last months decision to leave the EU by the British...
Writer

Democracy to be redefined  “betterthedevilyaknowocracy”

The linguistic and lexicogaphical boffins at Oxford and Cambridge have agreed that the term democracy needs to be scrapped and replaced with something more appropriate. "We realised that the pattern of how things go is...

Theresa May establishes Disaster Committee to “get ahead of the game”

Theresa May reassured a worried nation today by giving David Davis extra responsibility when she appointed him head of the newly formed Disaster Committee. It's a move aimed to underline her administration's reputation for consistency. It's hoped...
London Marathon

Confusion and Discomfort as Marathon forces Londoners to support and talk to one another

Mass confusion ensued at the London Marathon today, as London dwellers cast off their stony facades and began to talk to one another. 'I started watching the Marathon and I don't know what came over...

Alabama legislature confirms blacks still welcome to get abortions or be shot by police

Emergency session of Alabama state legislature passes important exemption In an emergency session of the Alabama state legislature, State Senator Garlan Gudger proposed an amendment motion to the State's...

UKIP Chairman claims “to play the piano in a whorehouse” on dating website

The Chairman of UKIP has been caught red faced after lying about his occupation on a dating site. Paul Oakden claimed to "play a piano in a whorehouse" rather than admit to his role in...

Corbyn Sits Down for the Working Class…..Again…..

Spending a football match without a seat, crushed up against other supporters in the stand, or crouched uncomfortably in the gangway is an all-too-absolutely-never-happens experience for many. But when your ground hasn't been completed...
Prince Philip

Prince Philip declared fit to work by Atos

Prince Philip has been declared fit for work by Atos less than an hour after he was involved in car accident earlier today. Officials said "that despite being...

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