Farron leaving politics to watch VHS of “Brokeback Mountain” in mountains with friend
Tim Farron, Leader of the Liberal Democrats is set to resign his position after an embarrassing swing in his constituency, that saw him slimmly...
Young children advised to wash hands after licking floors, walls, windows, banister rails and...
Young children around the UK have been advised that the best way to stop the spread of Coronavirus is by thoroughly washing their hands...
Prince Philip spends night lying on coat of arms on hospital floor
The ninety seven-year-old Duke of Edinburgh who has suspected flu was forced to sleep on a hospital treatment room floor because of a lack...
House of Commons Toilets to Close in wake of Fabric Closure
After the closure of the famous London nightclub Fabric by Islington council, due to people taking drugs there, it was announced today that the...
Panic over as Daily Mail assures everyone the fridge wasn’t bought by a white...
The Mail-online has sought to reassure readers that it was a slack-jawed, lazy, drunken black man who bought the fridge that started the Grenfell...
Oven ready chicken refuses to leave fridge
Despite professing for weeks that he was much more oven ready than 'that Turkey Corbyn', the world's largest chicken has refused to leave a...
Labour Party pledge to make it cheaper for young people to get stabbed on...
The Labour Party has announced a new policy that will allow young people to get stabbed on night buses much more cheaply.
Labour spokesman, Stan...
Knob-head hand gesture at lowest levels since records began
A recent poll has revealed that this once loved insult has seen a sudden decline in use, and could be completely extinct by the...
Chris Evans to host new BBC bake off show
Red headed billionaire Christopher Evans has been confirmed as the new host of the Beeb's brand new baking show designed to take the place...
Panic across UK as white substance continues to fall from sky
A state of emergency has been declared in a number of regions after a strange white substance fell from the sky recently.
As councils...
Galloway Still Not Gone Away
Scotland's answer to Simon Danczuk, George Clementine Galloway, is inexplicably in the news again despite not being on Celebrity Big Brother.
The ex-Labour MP...
Confusion as Trump blames The Who for Coronavirus pandemic
US President Donald Trump caused a wave of confusion and condemnation earlier today, when it was announced that he would be cutting funding to British rock...
Brexiters excited to leave the EU posthumously
According to a recent poll, Leave voters up and down the country are excited at the prospect of leaving the EU posthumously.
Following continuous delays...
Rochdale RHS Britain in Bloom judges catch a Bellsprout
Members of the RHS (Royal Horticultural Society) were visiting Rochdale this week as part of the judging of the North West in Bloom competition.
Each...
Theresa May establishes Disaster Committee to “get ahead of the game”
Theresa May reassured a worried nation today by giving David Davis extra responsibility when she appointed him head of the newly formed Disaster Committee.
It's a...
Posh people forced to talk about football while England still in World Cup
Ex-Public School boys and Hooray Henry's are having to talk about football and they aren't enjoying it. Whether they're at work, on the golf...
