Conservatives to trial ‘career houses’
The new Secretary of State for Work and Pensions, Damien Green, unveiled the plans earlier today in parliament.
The policy, which will see families currently...
Everyone on Facebook now an expert in neuroscience
It's been revealed that millions of Britons on Facebook are now experts in neuroscience.
The revelation comes just weeks after millions of people were found...
Win Win Win with The Herald! We are giving away year’s free membership to...
That's right it's not a typo, we are feeling generous today at The Herald after an out of court settlement with them southern softies...
Shops barely containing their desire to unload Christmas tat
Rochdale trading standards office has revealed it has been inundated with complaints about retailers desperate to begin selling their Christmas wares.
Officer Colin McNigelson told...
David Davis tells Select Committee the dog ate his Brexit Impact Assessment
David Davis, the Secretary for Probably Exiting the European Union, has confirmed to the House of Lords Select Committee that he has definitely done...
Jesus slammed for not following government advice after going out and getting hammered
A 33 year old man from Galilee has been criticised by the GNP, Greater Nazareth Police, after reportedly having a massive dinner party with...
House of Commons Toilets to Close in wake of Fabric Closure
After the closure of the famous London nightclub Fabric by Islington council, due to people taking drugs there, it was announced today that the...
Shitheads get new jobs
London - A bunch of irrelevant shitheads all got new jobs today in London. Theresa May is currently reshuffling the pack of lizards who would...
Kids Don’t Spend Enough Time Outside, Moan Papers That have Spent Three Decades Convincing...
Several newspapers are complaining that today's kids spend less than half the time playing out as their parents did after a survey from The...
Chuka Umunna banned from Coventry Laser Quest for crashing children’s parties
MP for Streatham, Chuka Umunna, has been forcibly removed from a branch of Laser Quest in Coventry for reportedly trying to join numerous children's...
Flying Arse Crashes Nose First
The longest aircraft in the world- the Airlander 10, nicknamed the flying bum- has crash landed in a field in Bedfordshire on it's second...
Queen’s speech delayed for halal vellum
"The ritualistic slaughter of goat is an essential pre-requisite for planned legislation in a parliamentary democracy." So said a spokesperson for 10 Downing Street...
Poll shows only 20% of American 7-year-olds believe in Donald Trump
A survey conducted by the Maryland Institute of Toddlerdom (MIT) yesterday proved that while 60 per cent of 7 year olds in the USA...
Gavin Williamson declares war on schools
Former Defence Secretary, Gavin Williamson has declared war on schools mere hours after being appointed Education Secretary.
His secret plan, which he immediately leaked, is...
Cat who shit in litter tray lined with Daily Mail appointed editor
A cat who took a poo in a litter tray lined with a copy of the Daily Mail has been named as new editor...
“I don’t believe in that fat old man in the dodgy suit” says Santa...
Father Christmas has come out in a blistering denunciation of Donald Trump today, stating categorically that he doesn't believe in him.
In an interview with...
