UK is an American Prison according to Alex Jones

The UK is a gigantic American prison according to balding conspiracist and radio gob Alex Jones- and Rochdale is the proof. The 42 year old-...

It’s impossible to sandpaper a netball, concede Australians

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Long standing dominance of sport by Australia and New Zealand ended by incredible English performance Some say Australian carpentry skill brings them closer to Christ....

Trump to produce new range of fragrances

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Donald Trump is to collaborate with daughter Ivanka to produce a new range of perfumes. The first daughter said "This new range reflects...

Poll shows only 20% of American 7-year-olds believe in Donald Trump

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A survey conducted by the Maryland Institute of Toddlerdom (MIT) yesterday proved that while 60 per cent of 7 year olds in the USA...

Harry and Meghan to take holiday from going on holiday

The palace has revealed this morning that plans are in place to give the Duke and Duchess of Sussex a well deserved break from...

Nigel Farage rumoured to replace Nigel Farage as UKIP leader

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Nigel Farage's successor will be announced at UKIP's Bournemouth conference tomorrow but a party insider has let slip that his replacement will be Nigel...

Thomas Cook passengers choosing ride share with refugees rather than Ryanair

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Thomas Cook, one of the world's oldest travel providers has gone into liquidation, meaning thousands of job losses and over a hundred thousand holidays...

Farron leaving politics to watch VHS of “Brokeback Mountain” in mountains with friend

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Tim Farron, Leader of the Liberal Democrats is set to resign his position after an embarrassing swing in his constituency, that saw him slimmly...

World Health Organisation upgrades five-second rule to three seconds rule

The World Health Organisation has taken the unprecedented step of upgrading the five-second rule to just three seconds. As the deadly Coronavirus pandemic sweeps the...
Trump Golf Twitter

Trump accused of damaging reputation of fat, racist golfers everywhere

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Donald Trump has been asked to give up golf as he is tarnishing its reputation and attracting the wrong type of people into the...
Downing Street

Shitheads get new jobs

London - A bunch of irrelevant shitheads all got new jobs today in London. Theresa May is currently reshuffling the pack of lizards who would...

Trident finally put on Ebay

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The Trident nuclear deterrent was today put up for sale on Ebay by the UK.  It is believed that the nuclear weapon system was bought...
Macron & Johnson

Emmanuel Macron meets Boris Johnson to tell him to fuck off in person

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Following a hectic fortnight of being booed in Scotland, Northern Ireland, Wales and the children's ward in a Cornish Hospital, Prime Minister Boris Johnson...
Queen and Philip

Queen’s speech delayed for halal vellum

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"The ritualistic slaughter of goat is an essential pre-requisite for planned legislation in a parliamentary democracy." So said a spokesperson for 10 Downing Street...
Santa with presents

Big Fat Secret Santa Appeal – 2,329 Gifts bought in four days

Four days ago we launched our Big Fat Secret Santa appeal with the wonderful guys and girls at NewsThump, Southend News Network, Angry People...

Beards Not Cool After All

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24 hours after we exclusively revealed that beards were still cool, the International Facial Hair Council has declared that beards are no longer the...

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