Tommy Robinson thrown out of restaurant after complaining about ‘Allah Cart’ menu
Tommy Robinson has been thrown out of a restaurant in Oldham after a campaign event today after starting a row with the manager over...
Cabinet to wear face masks during Cobra meeting as precaution against Coronavirus
The prime minister and senior members of the cabinet are to wear full face masks during today's Cobra meeting to decide whether to bring...
Far Right groups threaten to tear down statues of Prophet Mohammed
Far right groups have pledged to tear down all statues of the Prophet Mohammed following the recent scoop in the Daily Express that the...
“I don’t believe in that fat old man in the dodgy suit” says Santa...
Father Christmas has come out in a blistering denunciation of Donald Trump today, stating categorically that he doesn't believe in him.
In an interview with...
Prince Philip spends night lying on coat of arms on hospital floor
The ninety seven-year-old Duke of Edinburgh who has suspected flu was forced to sleep on a hospital treatment room floor because of a lack...
Ecuadorian Ambassador contacts No. 10 “We are here if you need us”
The Ecuadorian embassy has reached out to 10 Downing Street from its Knightsbridge address to tell Ms May, "We are here if you need us".
The...
Emmanuel Macron meets Boris Johnson to tell him to fuck off in person
Following a hectic fortnight of being booed in Scotland, Northern Ireland, Wales and the children's ward in a Cornish Hospital, Prime Minister Boris Johnson...
Knob-head hand gesture at lowest levels since records began
A recent poll has revealed that this once loved insult has seen a sudden decline in use, and could be completely extinct by the...
Israel launches airstrike on anti-semitic moon after spacecraft crash
The first privately funded mission to the moon has had an apparent failure resulting in a crash.
The Israeli spacecraft called Beresheet had been sent...
Boris Johnson gets into Christmas spirit by ordering massive census and slaughter of children
Boris Johnson has finally got into the spirit of Christmas by ordering a massive census of everybody in the UK and slaughtering all of...
Tommy Robinson fisted by pensioner in prison shower
IReports from Belmarsh are that Stephen Yaxley-Lennon, the tiny provocateur with the Timmy Mallet inspired pseudonym has been fisted. One fist from a pensioner...
Queen’s speech delayed for halal vellum
"The ritualistic slaughter of goat is an essential pre-requisite for planned legislation in a parliamentary democracy." So said a spokesperson for 10 Downing Street...
Vegetable that looks like Prince Charles discovered on Rochdale allotment
A Rochdale man has spoken to us about vegetable he has found that looks remarkably like Prince Charles.
Bill Board told us, "It was last...
World Health Organisation upgrades five-second rule to three seconds rule
The World Health Organisation has taken the unprecedented step of upgrading the five-second rule to just three seconds.
As the deadly Coronavirus pandemic sweeps the...
E. Begum granted permission to return to Rochdale from that there Yorkshire
E. Begum should be allowed to return to Rochdale to fight the decision to remove her rights to live on our side of the...
Specialists called in after Yorkshireman with Aussie flu says “G’day mate”
A Yorkshire man has been rushed to hospital after it was suspected he had the most serious strain of the Aussie flu virus known...
