Five Guys make creamy mess all over Nigel Farage

A fresian of excitement has gripped Newcastle over the last few days, with the news that Nigel Farage would be visiting. The Brexit Party leader has been credited for realising politics cud...

Dipshit to argue with Thicko about terrible idea

A thicko has accepted a dipshit's challenge of a debate on the telly to sort of discuss how best to implement a dreadful idea. The thicko had previously claimed he couldn't do the debate because...
Trump Golf Twitter

Trump accused of damaging reputation of fat, racist golfers everywhere

Donald Trump has been asked to give up golf as he is tarnishing its reputation and attracting the wrong type of people into the game. Fat, white, affluent, vaguely racist, middle-aged golfers are appalled...

Jeremy Clarkson’s views are irrelevant say other ageing xenophobic white people

Daily Express readers were quite literally fuming yesterday after tall gammon icon and keen casual racist Jeremy Clarkson referred to Brexit voters as 'coffin dodging idiots'. The newspaper Facebook comments page was awash with furious...

Panic across UK as white substance continues to fall from sky

A state of emergency has been declared in a number of regions after a strange white substance fell from the sky recently. As councils were caught out, the white stuff fell in amounts not...

Saudi Women win right to be dumped by text

In a landmark ruling in Saudi Arabia women have finally won the right to be dumped by text message. The victory follows the incredible shift in policy in the...

Definitely no division in Tory Party, says independent and unbiased media 

There aren't any massive splits over the subject of Brexit or abandoned economic plans within the Conservative Party, reported media outlets through their silence this week.  However the Labour Party is in chaos after someone...

Herald wins “Satirical Web Page of the Year”

It's a day of celebration at the Rochdale Herald as we are delighted to announce we have won Satirical Web Page of the Year beating off stiff competition from Newsthump, The Daily Mash, The...

Poll shows only 20% of American 7-year-olds believe in Donald Trump

A survey conducted by the Maryland Institute of Toddlerdom (MIT) yesterday proved that while 60 per cent of 7 year olds in the USA believed in Santa Claus, 80 per cent refuted utterly the...
Space Rocket

Israel launches airstrike on anti-semitic moon after spacecraft crash

The first privately funded mission to the moon has had an apparent failure resulting in a crash. The Israeli spacecraft called Beresheet had been sent on a mission to...

Nick Clegg to run for leadership of Libdems

Nick Clegg has announced his intention of running for the leadership of the Liberal Democrats following the shock resignation of Tim Farron. In a speech from the corner of Downing Street Mr Clegg spoke of...
Piers Morgan

Piers Morgan furious after discovering Buffalo Wings don’t contain Buffalo

Piers Morgan took to Twitter today to denounce a popular fast food chain after discovering that its Buffalo Wings don't contain any Buffalo at all. Mr Morgan accused the...

Alabama legislature confirms blacks still welcome to get abortions or be shot by police

Emergency session of Alabama state legislature passes important exemption In an emergency session of the Alabama state legislature, State Senator Garlan Gudger proposed an amendment motion to the State's...

Conservatives to trial ‘career houses’

The new Secretary of State for Work and Pensions, Damien Green, unveiled the plans earlier today in parliament. The policy, which will see families currently claiming out of work benefits moved into special 'career houses'...
Neuroscience

Everyone on Facebook now an expert in neuroscience

It's been revealed that millions of Britons on Facebook are now experts in neuroscience. The revelation comes just weeks after millions of people were found to be experts in toxicology and analytical chemistry. Millions of people...
Smiling woman

Woman appalled by Alabama abortion laws ‘sort of aware’ of Northern Ireland

LLocal woman Mia Wombley has been telling everyone she knows about the horrendous new legislation in Alabama.  Local senators, duelling their banjo strings, have asserted the importance of men to control women's...

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