Boris Johnson gets into Christmas spirit by ordering massive census and slaughter of children
Boris Johnson has finally got into the spirit of Christmas by ordering a massive census of everybody in the UK and slaughtering all of...
Rupert Murdoch’s face breaks ageing app
Media tycoon and ancient demonic scrotum, Rupert Murdoch has broken viral photo editor FaceApp, attempting to see what his face would look like in...
Tommy Robinson fisted by pensioner in prison shower
IReports from Belmarsh are that Stephen Yaxley-Lennon, the tiny provocateur with the Timmy Mallet inspired pseudonym has been fisted. One fist from a pensioner...
Britain buoyed by approval of Autumn Olympics
There were wild scenes of celebration from keen athletics fans up and down the UK this morning, as the head of the Seasonal Olympics...
If sausage rolls were made out of Piers Morgan we’d make an exception, confirm...
Vegans around the UK have unanimously voted to have Piers Morgan reclassified as a vegetable so that they can murder and eat him, according...
Far Right groups threaten to tear down statues of Prophet Mohammed
Far right groups have pledged to tear down all statues of the Prophet Mohammed following the recent scoop in the Daily Express that the...
UK Satirists mourn the death of Sir Antony Jay
Sir Antony Jay, the creator of Yes Minister has died taking with him UK satire. All we have left is the equivalent of a...
Prince Philip declared fit to work by Atos
Prince Philip has been declared fit for work by Atos less than an hour after he was admitted to hospital yesterday.
Officials said "that...
Herald wins “Satirical Web Page of the Year”
It's a day of celebration at the Rochdale Herald as we are delighted to announce we have won Satirical Web Page of the Year...
Tory membership livid at Leadsom withdrawal
Tory Party Members up and down the country are reported to be livid that the withdrawal of Andrea Leadsom has robbed them of their...
Anger as Dominic Raab claims Hitler salute came from TV sitcom ‘Allo Allo!’
Foreign Secretary Dominic Raab prompted fresh criticism today after claiming that the 'Hitler salute' frequently used by members of the far-right was 'just a...
Kids Don’t Spend Enough Time Outside, Moan Papers That have Spent Three Decades Convincing...
Several newspapers are complaining that today's kids spend less than half the time playing out as their parents did after a survey from The...
World Health Organisation upgrades five-second rule to three seconds rule
The World Health Organisation has taken the unprecedented step of upgrading the five-second rule to just three seconds.
As the deadly Coronavirus pandemic sweeps the...
Confusion as Trump blames The Who for Coronavirus pandemic
US President Donald Trump caused a wave of confusion and condemnation earlier today, when it was announced that he would be cutting funding to British rock...
Rochdale woman not ready to tell friends she’s “OK thanks, bbz”
A Rochdale woman today refused to confirm whether she was alright or not, following a passive aggressive cry for attention on Facebook.
The woman, 32...
Democracy to be redefined “betterthedevilyaknowocracy”
The linguistic and lexicogaphical boffins at Oxford and Cambridge have agreed that the term democracy needs to be scrapped and replaced with something more...
