It’s impossible to sandpaper a netball, concede Australians
Long standing dominance of sport by Australia and New Zealand ended by incredible English performance
Some say Australian carpentry skill brings them closer to Christ....
Conservatives to trial ‘career houses’
The new Secretary of State for Work and Pensions, Damien Green, unveiled the plans earlier today in parliament.
The policy, which will see families currently...
Far Right groups threaten to tear down statues of Prophet Mohammed
Far right groups have pledged to tear down all statues of the Prophet Mohammed following the recent scoop in the Daily Express that the...
Jeremy Clarkson’s views are irrelevant say other ageing xenophobic white people
Daily Express readers were quite literally fuming yesterday after tall gammon icon and keen casual racist Jeremy Clarkson referred to Brexit voters as 'coffin...
World Health Organisation upgrades five-second rule to three seconds rule
The World Health Organisation has taken the unprecedented step of upgrading the five-second rule to just three seconds.
As the deadly Coronavirus pandemic sweeps the...
Panic across UK as white substance continues to fall from sky
A state of emergency has been declared in a number of regions after a strange white substance fell from the sky recently.
As councils...
Anger as Dominic Raab claims Hitler salute came from TV sitcom ‘Allo Allo!’
Foreign Secretary Dominic Raab prompted fresh criticism today after claiming that the 'Hitler salute' frequently used by members of the far-right was 'just a...
A1 to Durham renamed The Dominic Cummings Expressway
The A1(M) between Aberford and Durham has been officially redesignated the Dominic Cummings Expressway in recognition of its primary purpose of conveying the 'Special'...
Southern Rail raise prices by £40 to pay for new Indian style trains to...
Beleaguered train operator Southern Rail has unveiled an ambitious new programme of investment to address overcrowding issues on commuter routes into London.
The strike beset...
Conservative Party logo to be replaced with picture of Priti Patel’s smirk
The Conservative Party are to replace their established 'oak tree' logo with a graphic representation of Priti Patel's smirking face, the Herald can reveal.
The...
The Rochdale Herald’s top 10 tips for hating Meghan Markle
The Daily Mail and The Daily Express have today announced that Britons will be expected to devote as much as 14 hours a day...
Knob-head hand gesture at lowest levels since records began
A recent poll has revealed that this once loved insult has seen a sudden decline in use, and could be completely extinct by the...
Travel Chaos Hailed as “Complete Success” by French.
French authorities today claimed that their test of the post-Brexit border checks was a complete success, with motorists in Kent delayed for hours and...
Cat who shit in litter tray lined with Daily Mail appointed editor
A cat who took a poo in a litter tray lined with a copy of the Daily Mail has been named as new editor...
Corbyn Sits Down for the Working Class…..Again…..
Spending a football match without a seat, crushed up against other supporters in the stand, or crouched uncomfortably in the gangway is an all-too-absolutely-never-happens...
Prince Philip declared fit to work by Atos
Prince Philip has been declared fit for work by Atos less than an hour after he was admitted to hospital yesterday.
Officials said "that...
