Local Man PROMISES he’s only drinking Strongbow Dark Fruit ‘because it’s sunny’
A local man has insisted that he doesn't normally drink Strongbow Dark Fruit, but when it's sunny outside 'everybody does it'.
Usually opting for an...
Greta Thunberg releases Scandinavian Death Metal album.
The music world has been surprised by the release of an album by Greta Thunberg and the Prophets of Doom, a new death metal...
US celebrates after number of days so far this year overtakes number of mass...
Americans across America are celebrating the fact that for the first time since the invention of calendars there have been more days in the...
It’s impossible to sandpaper a netball, concede Australians
Long standing dominance of sport by Australia and New Zealand ended by incredible English performance
Some say Australian carpentry skill brings them closer to Christ....
“It was exhausting, sweaty, and one of the worst things I’ve ever experienced,” says...
The Coronavirus responsible for the current global pandemic, Covid-19, has described its recent infection of Prime Minister Boris Johnson as "exhausting, sweaty, and one...
Trump and Kim Jong Un to meet on Love Island
A rearranged summit between Donald Trump and Kim Jong Un will take place on Love Island.
The news comes amid speculation that a high ranking...
Cabinet to wear face masks during Cobra meeting as precaution against Coronavirus
The prime minister and senior members of the cabinet are to wear full face masks during today's Cobra meeting to decide whether to bring...
Increased racism was on the other bus say Brexiteers
Brexiteers have been quick to point out that a post-Brexit vote increase in racism was on the other bus.
Government clown Boris Johnson said, "This...
Momentum members take comfort from prospect of cheaper ski holidays
Whenever election results don't go as hoped, there is always a chance that the downhearted will become the outright depressed. Fortunately, Momentum organiser Mia...
NHS gift vouchers to become nation’s favourite christmas stocking fillers
People up and down the country will be able to show their loved ones how much they care by buying gift vouchers for NHS...
Emmanuel Macron meets Boris Johnson to tell him to fuck off in person
Following a hectic fortnight of being booed in Scotland, Northern Ireland, Wales and the children's ward in a Cornish Hospital, Prime Minister Boris Johnson...
Prince Philip declared fit to work by Atos
Prince Philip has been declared fit for work by Atos less than an hour after he was admitted to hospital yesterday.
Officials said "that...
Burnley Lidl selling Father’s Day Cards in packs of five
With Father's Day fast approaching, supermarkets and stationary stores across the country are displaying cards and gifts for children to give to their father this Sunday. Burnley Lidl has raised a few eyebrows with its five card bundle offer.
Lack of mud and misery makes Coachella not a real festival, experts reveal
A group of specialists have confirmed that without rain, mud and warm cider, Coachella is actually not a real festival.
Despite there being music, dancing...
Labour voter’s sciatica cured after Corbyn hug
Rochdale Labour voter Kyle Henderson has told the Herald how his sciatica was cured after he hugged Jeremy Corbyn at a Labour election rally.
Mr...
Vegetable that looks like Prince Charles discovered on Rochdale allotment
A Rochdale man has spoken to us about vegetable he has found that looks remarkably like Prince Charles.
Bill Board told us, "It was last...
