24 hours after we exclusively revealed that beards were still cool, the International Facial Hair Council has declared that beards are no longer the hip thing to sport on your chin.

Jules Light told the Herald, “a man with a beard is just wrong, beards should not be considered cool unless lady ‘beards’ make comeback”

Helen Cairns couldn’t type fast enough when she explained, “There is no excuse whatever for walking around looking like a coconut mat. Beards are just de trop …shave it off”

When the super sexy sex expert Dorethea Shovlar spoke to The Herald she could hardly contain her excitement that beards were no longer de rigeur;

“I wouldn’t really care if there wasn’t the problem of hair shedding. Beard hair looks like pubic hair. I like men bald, bold and shaven, please and thank you”

The news will see millions of London’s coolest cats diving for their razors in a bid to keep up to date with hipster trends. And as for the staff on the Herald ? Well we may just see what tomorrow brings. 

Illiterate writer of nonsense. Great at headlines but tail off during the story ;-) Available for weddings funerals and kids parties. Never lie, or do I? Married to a retired supermodel come part time donkey racer. Will work for beer and crisps.