Night tube wonderful, say apprentice journalists through gritted teeth
Scores of young, underpaid trainee journalists have been drowsily typing up their reviews of the night tube over the last two mornings as their...
Tommy Robinson thrown out of restaurant after complaining about ‘Allah Cart’ menu
Tommy Robinson has been thrown out of a restaurant in Oldham after a campaign event today after starting a row with the manager over...
Win Win Win with The Herald! We are giving away year’s free membership to...
That's right it's not a typo, we are feeling generous today at The Herald after an out of court settlement with them southern softies...
Oven ready chicken refuses to leave fridge
Despite professing for weeks that he was much more oven ready than 'that Turkey Corbyn', the world's largest chicken has refused to leave a...
Rupert Murdoch’s face breaks ageing app
Media tycoon and ancient demonic scrotum, Rupert Murdoch has broken viral photo editor FaceApp, attempting to see what his face would look like in...
Standard government response to petitions revealed to be – F&@k off Plebs
The trend in starting parliamentary petitions seems finally to be tapering off. We asked serial petition-starter Si Neer why he thinks that might be:
"It's...
Panic across UK as white substance continues to fall from sky
A state of emergency has been declared in a number of regions after a strange white substance fell from the sky recently.
As councils...
Clean-shaven white van man obviously failed by mental health services
A clean-shaven, white man has been arrested outside a Mosque in Finsbury, London, after his van veered off the road and directly into eleven...
Britain’s first halal food bank to open in Rochdale
News that the UK's first halal food bank is to open in Rochdale this week was greeted enthusiastically by local residents and village elders...
Knob-head hand gesture at lowest levels since records began
A recent poll has revealed that this once loved insult has seen a sudden decline in use, and could be completely extinct by the...
M1 & M6 become sentient
The Department for Transport has today revealed that its works to upgrade sections of the M6 and M1 to 'Smart' motorways have taken so...
WOW! SECRET SANTA UPDATE – 2,644 presents and £21,570 raised
The Big Fat Secret Santa appeal we're running with NewsThump, Southend News Network, Angry People in Local Papers and Tuckered is really gathering...
Labour voter’s sciatica cured after Corbyn hug
Rochdale Labour voter Kyle Henderson has told the Herald how his sciatica was cured after he hugged Jeremy Corbyn at a Labour election rally.
Mr...
Revelation as Mercury rises for blue plaque
Freddie Mercury, lead singer of rock sensations Queen, has been commemorated with a blue plaque at his former family home in Feltham.
However, in a...
Local woman wins award for most middle class comment 2016
A local woman has won Rochdale's coveted "Most Middle Class Comment 2016" at a dinner party this weekend.
Barbara Dickinson was attending a dinner party...
Labour, the Social DEMOCRATIC Party, takes more steps to prevent undesirables from voting
The National Executive Committee of the Labour Party has announced today that only those to the right of Tony Blair will be permitted to...




















































