Dipshit to argue with Thicko about terrible idea

A thicko has accepted a dipshit's challenge of a debate on the telly to sort of discuss how best to implement a dreadful idea. The...

Specialists called in after Yorkshireman with Aussie flu says “G’day mate”

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A Yorkshire man has been rushed to hospital after it was suspected he had the most serious strain of the Aussie flu virus known...
Space Rocket

Israel launches airstrike on anti-semitic moon after spacecraft crash

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The first privately funded mission to the moon has had an apparent failure resulting in a crash. The Israeli spacecraft called Beresheet had been sent...

Boris Johnson gets into Christmas spirit by ordering massive census and slaughter of children

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Boris Johnson has finally got into the spirit of Christmas by ordering a massive census of everybody in the UK and slaughtering all of...

Armed Republican men protesting being told what do with their bodies

Heavily armed pro-life nitwits across America have taken to the streets in protest in being told to stay at home to save lives. The crowds...

Facebook Users Don’t Twist Tragedy Into Confirmation of Their Worldview

A man and a woman managed to see news stories shared on Facebook today without thinking it proved what they already believe.  Duncan Merchant from Rochdale,...

Panic across UK as white substance continues to fall from sky

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A state of emergency has been declared in a number of regions after a strange white substance fell from the sky recently. As councils...

The Rochdale Herald’s top 10 tips for hating Meghan Markle

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The Daily Mail and The Daily Express have today announced that Britons will be expected to devote as much as 14 hours a day...

Leave voters incensed as EU threatens to take away Continental summer weather

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Leave voters voiced their anger today as the EU threatened to take away the Continental weather that sees England baking in sunshine and heat...

Windsor council workers sledging to work on frozen homeless people

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Councillors in Windsor have been seen sledging using the frozen bodies of homeless people. One told us, "The council wanted them all removed for the...
Scientists

‘How many roads must a man walk down before he can call himself a...

Researchers have proved that the number of roads a man must walk down before you call him a man is greater than, or equal...
Celebrity Big Brother

Big Brother to launch Celebrity version with actual celebrities in 2019

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Producers of smash-hit and hugely relevant TV show Big Brother have announced a new twist for 2019....actual celebrities will enter the Big Brother house...

Chris Evans to host new BBC bake off show

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Red headed billionaire Christopher Evans has been confirmed as the new host of the Beeb's brand new baking show designed to take the place...

It’s impossible to sandpaper a netball, concede Australians

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Long standing dominance of sport by Australia and New Zealand ended by incredible English performance Some say Australian carpentry skill brings them closer to Christ....
Macron & Johnson

Emmanuel Macron meets Boris Johnson to tell him to fuck off in person

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Following a hectic fortnight of being booed in Scotland, Northern Ireland, Wales and the children's ward in a Cornish Hospital, Prime Minister Boris Johnson...

Local Man PROMISES he’s only drinking Strongbow Dark Fruit ‘because it’s sunny’

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A local man has insisted that he doesn't normally drink Strongbow Dark Fruit, but when it's sunny outside 'everybody does it'. Usually opting for an...

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