Travel Chaos Hailed as “Complete Success” by French.

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French authorities today claimed that their test of the post-Brexit border checks was a complete success, with motorists in Kent delayed for hours and...

NHS gift vouchers to become nation’s favourite christmas stocking fillers

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People up and down the country will be able to show their loved ones how much they care by buying gift vouchers for NHS...

Young people cause cancer Daily Mail warns

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The Daily Mail has exclusively revealed that British youth is causing cancer. In its article on the subject the Mail pointed out that British youths...
Top Hats

Posh people forced to talk about football while England still in World Cup

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Ex-Public School boys and Hooray Henry's are having to talk about football and they aren't enjoying it. Whether they're at work, on the golf...

Alabama legislature confirms blacks still welcome to get abortions or be shot by police

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Emergency session of Alabama state legislature passes important exemption In an emergency session of the Alabama state legislature, State Senator Garlan Gudger proposed an amendment...

Win Win Win with The Herald! We are giving away year’s free membership to...

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That's right it's not a typo, we are feeling generous today at The Herald after an out of court settlement with them southern softies...

Knackered dam describes Boris Johnson as looking ‘dodgy and unstable’

A knackered dam in Derbyshire has described the UK prime minister as looking "dodgy but unstable" and a "substantial risk". The dam in Whaley Bridge...

UK is an American Prison according to Alex Jones

The UK is a gigantic American prison according to balding conspiracist and radio gob Alex Jones- and Rochdale is the proof. The 42 year old-...

Queen celebrates being 22 in lizard years

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The Queen has celebrated being 22 in lizard years today. David Attenborough was there to capture the celebrations and was able to give the...
Prince Philip

Prince Philip spends night lying on coat of arms on hospital floor

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The ninety seven-year-old Duke of Edinburgh who has suspected flu was forced to sleep on a hospital treatment room floor because of a lack...

‘It’s pronounced KWINAH, you pretentious f*ckwits’ confirms Quinoa

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Middle class consumers were left reeling today after one of the much beloved 'super foods' they incessantly extol the virtues of confirmed that everyone...

Theresa May establishes Disaster Committee to “get ahead of the game”

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Theresa May reassured a worried nation today by giving David Davis extra responsibility when she appointed him head of the newly formed Disaster Committee. It's a...

Man Wastes Full Day watching repeats of Come Dine with Me

Distraught butcher Brendan Slaughter from Wigan was mortified to learn that it was 9:00pm last Sunday night when he had work at 5:00am.  "I was...

UKIP Chairman claims “to play the piano in a whorehouse” on dating website

The Chairman of UKIP has been caught red faced after lying about his occupation on a dating site. Paul Oakden claimed to "play a piano...
Trump Golf Twitter

Trump accused of damaging reputation of fat, racist golfers everywhere

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Donald Trump has been asked to give up golf as he is tarnishing its reputation and attracting the wrong type of people into the...

A1 renamed The Dominic Cummings Expressway

The A1(M) between Aberford and Durham has been officially redesignated the Dominic Cummings Expressway in recognition of its primary purpose of conveying the 'Special'...

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