Herald wins “Satirical Web Page of the Year”

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It's a day of celebration at the Rochdale Herald as we are delighted to announce we have won Satirical Web Page of the Year...

Tommy Robinson fisted by pensioner in prison shower

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IReports from Belmarsh are that Stephen Yaxley-Lennon, the tiny provocateur with the Timmy Mallet inspired pseudonym has been fisted.  One fist from a pensioner...

A1 renamed The Dominic Cummings Expressway

The A1(M) between Aberford and Durham has been officially redesignated the Dominic Cummings Expressway in recognition of its primary purpose of conveying the 'Special'...

Brexiters excited to leave the EU posthumously

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According to a recent poll, Leave voters up and down the country are excited at the prospect of leaving the EU posthumously. Following continuous delays...

Tommy Robinson thrown out of restaurant after complaining about ‘Allah Cart’ menu

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Tommy Robinson has been thrown out of a restaurant in Oldham after a campaign event today after starting a row with the manager over...

World Health Organisation upgrades five-second rule to three seconds rule

The World Health Organisation has taken the unprecedented step of upgrading the five-second rule to just three seconds. As the deadly Coronavirus pandemic sweeps the...

Danczuk not immolated in Bonfire accident

Rochdale Herald readers will be disappointed to hear that the rumours that pornography enthusiast Simon Danczuk MP immolated himself lighting a bonfire in July...
Couple with dog

Season your pets before leaving them in a hot car

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do With temperatures hitting 30°C across the nation, dog owners have been warned to pay special attention to their four legged friends. Each year the RSPCA...
Downing Street

Shitheads get new jobs

London - A bunch of irrelevant shitheads all got new jobs today in London. Theresa May is currently reshuffling the pack of lizards who would...

Beards officially still cool – says man with beard 

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It's the news every streetwise hipster has been waiting for and today a man from London has confirmed that beards are still the must...
Hippies Hippy

Lack of mud and misery makes Coachella not a real festival, experts reveal

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A group of specialists have confirmed that without rain, mud and warm cider, Coachella is actually not a real festival. Despite there being music, dancing...
Ann Widdecombe

Anne Widdecombe symbolically frees her slave

Following her first speech in the European Parliament, we have avoided the term 'maiden speech' as all her speeches are maiden, Anne Widdecombe has...

Trump and Kim Jong Un to meet on Love Island

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A rearranged summit between Donald Trump and Kim Jong Un will take place on Love Island.  The news comes amid speculation that a high ranking...

Young people cause cancer Daily Mail warns

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The Daily Mail has exclusively revealed that British youth is causing cancer. In its article on the subject the Mail pointed out that British youths...

‘It’s pronounced KWINAH, you pretentious f*ckwits’ confirms Quinoa

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Middle class consumers were left reeling today after one of the much beloved 'super foods' they incessantly extol the virtues of confirmed that everyone...

Five Guys make creamy mess all over Nigel Farage

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A fresian of excitement has gripped Newcastle over the last few days, with the news that Nigel Farage would be visiting. The Brexit Party...

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