Win Win Win with The Herald! We are giving away year’s free membership to...

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That's right it's not a typo, we are feeling generous today at The Herald after an out of court settlement with them southern softies...

Ecuadorian Ambassador contacts No. 10 “We are here if you need us”

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The Ecuadorian embassy has reached out to 10 Downing Street from its Knightsbridge address to tell Ms May, "We are here if you need us". The...
Viagra

Sale of over-counter Viagra faces stiff opposition

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The Women's Institute are lobbying  the Health Secretary demanding that Viagra only be available through prescription and after consultation with a Doctor. Recent changes bought...

Labour voter’s sciatica cured after Corbyn hug

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Rochdale Labour voter Kyle Henderson has told the Herald how his sciatica was cured after he hugged Jeremy Corbyn at a Labour election rally. Mr...

Kids Don’t Spend Enough Time Outside, Moan Papers That have Spent Three Decades Convincing...

Several newspapers are complaining that today's kids spend less than half the time playing out as their parents did after a survey from The...

“I don’t believe in that fat old man in the dodgy suit” says Santa...

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Father Christmas has come out in a blistering denunciation of Donald Trump today, stating categorically that he doesn't believe in him. In an interview with...

Young people cause cancer Daily Mail warns

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The Daily Mail has exclusively revealed that British youth is causing cancer. In its article on the subject the Mail pointed out that British youths...

Standard government response to petitions revealed to be – F&@k off Plebs

The trend in starting parliamentary petitions seems finally to be tapering off. We asked serial petition-starter Si Neer why he thinks that might be: "It's...

Harry and Meghan to take holiday from going on holiday

The palace has revealed this morning that plans are in place to give the Duke and Duchess of Sussex a well deserved break from...

City Traders delighted to cash in on RBS free money Bonanza

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The Government has announced a radical new plan to help, hard pressed, under-performing multi-million pound hedge fund managers make up the short-fall in their balance...

Beards Not Cool After All

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24 hours after we exclusively revealed that beards were still cool, the International Facial Hair Council has declared that beards are no longer the...

Cat who shit in litter tray lined with Daily Mail appointed editor

A cat who took a poo in a litter tray lined with a copy of the Daily Mail has been named as new editor...

A1 to Durham renamed The Dominic Cummings Expressway

The A1(M) between Aberford and Durham has been officially redesignated the Dominic Cummings Expressway in recognition of its primary purpose of conveying the 'Special'...

Windsor council workers sledging to work on frozen homeless people

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Councillors in Windsor have been seen sledging using the frozen bodies of homeless people. One told us, "The council wanted them all removed for the...

Definitely no division in Tory Party, says independent and unbiased media 

There aren't any massive splits over the subject of Brexit or abandoned economic plans within the Conservative Party, reported media outlets through their silence...

Danczuk not immolated in Bonfire accident

Rochdale Herald readers will be disappointed to hear that the rumours that pornography enthusiast Simon Danczuk MP immolated himself lighting a bonfire in July...

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