No binary education says May
Prime Minister Theresa May has heralded new education reforms by telling us that there will be "no return to the binary system of the...
Flag waving celebration of mythical empire shouldn’t be ruined by cheap politics
The Last Night at the Proms, an event where ex public school toffs wave the Union Flag in celebration of a completely made up...
Panic over as Daily Mail assures everyone the fridge wasn’t bought by a white...
The Mail-online has sought to reassure readers that it was a slack-jawed, lazy, drunken black man who bought the fridge that started the Grenfell...
Trust me to deliver Brexit, says woman you wouldn’t trust to deliver a pizza
"I'll deliver Brexit just like I deliver pizza." That's what Theresa May said and people have been queuing up to say that that's Brexit...
Mcdonalds to stop giving away assault rifles in Happy Meals in some US states
Four states in America have stopped giving away free assault rifles with every Happy Meal deal as a direct response to KFC banning knives...
Religious leader applauds honour killing in US
A religious leader in the US has taken to social media to applaud the heroic martyrdom of a mother shot by police after executing...
Lack of mud and misery makes Coachella not a real festival, experts reveal
A group of specialists have confirmed that without rain, mud and warm cider, Coachella is actually not a real festival.
Despite there being music, dancing...
Boris Johnson gets into Christmas spirit by ordering massive census and slaughter of children
Boris Johnson has finally got into the spirit of Christmas by ordering a massive census of everybody in the UK and slaughtering all of...
Armed Republican men protesting being told what do with their bodies
Heavily armed pro-life nitwits across America have taken to the streets in protest in being told to stay at home to save lives.
The crowds...
Man who doesn’t support party leader confused by people not supporting party leader
Bespectacled centrist Labour Party leadership candidate Owen Smith has questioned whether or not the audience at a Glasgow hustings were "entryists."
This was because the...
Harry and Meghan to take holiday from going on holiday
The palace has revealed this morning that plans are in place to give the Duke and Duchess of Sussex a well deserved break from...
Beards Not Cool After All
24 hours after we exclusively revealed that beards were still cool, the International Facial Hair Council has declared that beards are no longer the...
Trident finally put on Ebay
The Trident nuclear deterrent was today put up for sale on Ebay by the UK.
It is believed that the nuclear weapon system was bought...
Everyone on Facebook now an expert in neuroscience
It's been revealed that millions of Britons on Facebook are now experts in neuroscience.
The revelation comes just weeks after millions of people were found...
Panic across UK as white substance continues to fall from sky
A state of emergency has been declared in a number of regions after a strange white substance fell from the sky recently.
As councils...
Spain v Russia VAR officials wives and children released from captivity
Members of the VAR officials team for the Russia V Spain game have been speaking of their joy at being reunited with their families again.
The...
