Rupert Murdoch’s face breaks ageing app
Media tycoon and ancient demonic scrotum, Rupert Murdoch has broken viral photo editor FaceApp, attempting to see what his face would look like in...
Armed Republican men protesting being told what do with their bodies
Heavily armed pro-life nitwits across America have taken to the streets in protest in being told to stay at home to save lives.
The crowds...
House of Commons Toilets to Close in wake of Fabric Closure
After the closure of the famous London nightclub Fabric by Islington council, due to people taking drugs there, it was announced today that the...
Local woman wins award for most middle class comment 2016
A local woman has won Rochdale's coveted "Most Middle Class Comment 2016" at a dinner party this weekend.
Barbara Dickinson was attending a dinner party...
For Fuck’s Sake, sighs Britain
The entire United Kingdom muttered "for fuck's sake" in unision yesterday afternoon after learning that Boris Johnson has been "elected: new Conservative leader and...
Windsor council workers sledging to work on frozen homeless people
Councillors in Windsor have been seen sledging using the frozen bodies of homeless people.
One told us, "The council wanted them all removed for the...
Clean-shaven white van man obviously failed by mental health services
A clean-shaven, white man has been arrested outside a Mosque in Finsbury, London, after his van veered off the road and directly into eleven...
Tommy Robinson thrown out of restaurant after complaining about ‘Allah Cart’ menu
Tommy Robinson has been thrown out of a restaurant in Oldham after a campaign event today after starting a row with the manager over...
Sadiq Khan cracks down on junk food ads as thinner children harder to stab
Mayor plans to ban junk food adverts from Transport for London.
Mayor of London, Sadiq Khan, today announced a plan to ban junk food adverts...
Flying Arse Crashes Nose First
The longest aircraft in the world- the Airlander 10, nicknamed the flying bum- has crash landed in a field in Bedfordshire on it's second...
Electoral Reform Society mislays dictionary
The Electoral Reform Society has admitted they've lost the Collins Gem dictionary they had lying around the office a few weeks ago, making them...
Entire Tory Party arrested in clampdown on middle class cocaine users
The Conservative Party is facing a huge crisis today after its entire membership was arrested during a clampdown on middle class cocaine users.
PC Drug-Bust...
Downing Street orders all fans removed as Storm Stable hits UK
Theresa May has ordered all fans removed from government premises immediately to limit the damage of Storm Stable.
The storm is already sweeping across the...
Momentum members take comfort from prospect of cheaper ski holidays
Whenever election results don't go as hoped, there is always a chance that the downhearted will become the outright depressed. Fortunately, Momentum organiser Mia...
Scientists warn firing Formula 1 grid girls will lead to increase in race related...
Science - In a leaked Sport England research paper, several sports scientists have warned over the removal of the usual checks and balances deployed...
10 injured after multi trolley pile up in dash to newly opened til at...
Reports are coming in that there has been a serious collision at Middleton Lidl. It is believed the carnage was a result of an inexperienced...
