Spain v Russia VAR officials wives and children released from captivity

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Members of the VAR officials team for the Russia V Spain game have been speaking of their joy at being reunited with their families again. The...

Night tube wonderful, say apprentice journalists through gritted teeth 

Scores of young, underpaid trainee journalists have been drowsily typing up their reviews of the night tube over the last two mornings as their...

The Rochdale Herald’s top 10 tips for hating Meghan Markle

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The Daily Mail and The Daily Express have today announced that Britons will be expected to devote as much as 14 hours a day...

Brexiters excited to leave the EU posthumously

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According to a recent poll, Leave voters up and down the country are excited at the prospect of leaving the EU posthumously. Following continuous delays...

Clean-shaven white van man obviously failed by mental health services

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A clean-shaven, white man has been arrested outside a Mosque in Finsbury, London, after his van veered off the road and directly into eleven...

Airlines grounded for Black Death containment

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Jeremy Rhymes-With has ordered the gargantuan and wealthy NHS to enact its Black Death emergency plan. Most of the staff were just weaving baskets anyway...

Britain First Supporters admit it’s a waste of time trying to change their opinions

Die hard Britain First members have today confirmed that there is absolutely no point in trying to get them to change their opinions by...
Finger painting

Greater Manchester Road Planning Department forced to resit Key Stage One after failing finger...

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Following recent criticism of the Greater Manchester Road Network, Manchester City Council conducted an audit of the qualifications of the staff employed in the...

Road naming honour for Info Wars ‘journalist’ Paul Watson in his home town of...

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In a bid to balance the left leaning opinions of Mayor Magid Magid, Sheffield City Council have unveiled a new road in the south...

Knob-head hand gesture at lowest levels since records began

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A recent poll has revealed that this once loved insult has seen a sudden decline in use, and could be completely extinct by the...
Sadiq Khan

Sadiq Khan cracks down on junk food ads as thinner children harder to stab

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Mayor plans to ban junk food adverts from Transport for London. Mayor of London, Sadiq Khan, today announced a plan to ban junk food adverts...

Rochdale Exchange in disabled parking shake up

The Rochdale Exchange shopping centre has announced new plans for disabled parking at their 800 space multi-storey car park, The Rochdale Herald can reveal. "We're...

“It was exhausting, sweaty, and one of the worst things I’ve ever experienced,” says...

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The Coronavirus responsible for the current global pandemic, Covid-19, has described its recent infection of Prime Minister Boris Johnson as "exhausting, sweaty, and one...
Downing Street

Shitheads get new jobs

London - A bunch of irrelevant shitheads all got new jobs today in London. Theresa May is currently reshuffling the pack of lizards who would...

GCSE Results Spell Success for Dyslexic Pupils

Students at Maple Hayes Dyslexia Scool in Lichfield have been celebrating incredible GCSE exam success. While many students couldn't read or write when they first...
Ski Trip

Momentum members take comfort from prospect of cheaper ski holidays

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Whenever election results don't go as hoped, there is always a chance that the downhearted will become the outright depressed.  Fortunately, Momentum organiser Mia...

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