City Traders delighted to cash in on RBS free money Bonanza

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The Government has announced a radical new plan to help, hard pressed, under-performing multi-million pound hedge fund managers make up the short-fall in their balance...

Beards Not Cool After All

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24 hours after we exclusively revealed that beards were still cool, the International Facial Hair Council has declared that beards are no longer the...

Thomas Cook passengers choosing ride share with refugees rather than Ryanair

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Thomas Cook, one of the world's oldest travel providers has gone into liquidation, meaning thousands of job losses and over a hundred thousand holidays...
Dinner party group

Local woman wins award for most middle class comment 2016

A local woman has won Rochdale's coveted "Most Middle Class Comment 2016" at a dinner party this weekend. Barbara Dickinson was attending a dinner party...

Facebook Users Don’t Twist Tragedy Into Confirmation of Their Worldview

A man and a woman managed to see news stories shared on Facebook today without thinking it proved what they already believe.  Duncan Merchant from Rochdale,...

The Rochdale Herald’s top 10 tips for hating Meghan Markle

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The Daily Mail and The Daily Express have today announced that Britons will be expected to devote as much as 14 hours a day...

Brexiters excited to leave the EU posthumously

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According to a recent poll, Leave voters up and down the country are excited at the prospect of leaving the EU posthumously. Following continuous delays...

Danczuk not immolated in Bonfire accident

Rochdale Herald readers will be disappointed to hear that the rumours that pornography enthusiast Simon Danczuk MP immolated himself lighting a bonfire in July...

Goldie melts down OBE to replace pawned gold tooth

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DJ and alleged actor, Goldie, has vowed to melt down his MBE under the guise of moral outrage about some club somewhere closing down. The...
New Year Eve Party

Do we really, really, really have to go out, asks everyone

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Everybody in the UK has collectively asked if they really, really, really have to go out now that they've gone through the fun bit...
Scientists

‘How many roads must a man walk down before he can call himself a...

Researchers have proved that the number of roads a man must walk down before you call him a man is greater than, or equal...

Young children advised to wash hands after licking floors, walls, windows, banister rails and...

Young children around the UK have been advised that the best way to stop the spread of Coronavirus is by thoroughly washing their hands...

Electoral Reform Society mislays dictionary

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The Electoral Reform Society has admitted they've lost the Collins Gem dictionary they had lying around the office a few weeks ago, making them...

Beards officially still cool – says man with beard 

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It's the news every streetwise hipster has been waiting for and today a man from London has confirmed that beards are still the must...

Ecuadorian Ambassador contacts No. 10 “We are here if you need us”

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The Ecuadorian embassy has reached out to 10 Downing Street from its Knightsbridge address to tell Ms May, "We are here if you need us". The...

Panic grips nation as Britain realises Boris is in charge

Supermarkets across the land are fast running out of canned goods and bottled water and survivalist websites across the world are crashing as thousands...

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