E. Begum granted permission to return to Rochdale from that there Yorkshire

0
E. Begum should be allowed to return to Rochdale to fight the decision to remove her rights to live on our side of the...
Queen and Philip

Queen’s speech delayed for halal vellum

2
"The ritualistic slaughter of goat is an essential pre-requisite for planned legislation in a parliamentary democracy." So said a spokesperson for 10 Downing Street...
London Marathon

Confusion and Discomfort as Marathon forces Londoners to support and talk to one another

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Mass confusion ensued at the London Marathon today, as London dwellers cast off their stony facades and began to talk to one another. 'I started...

No binary education says May

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Prime Minister Theresa May has heralded new education reforms by telling us that there will be "no return to the binary system of the...
Nuclear Bomb

Only a good guy with a nuclear weapon can stop a bad guy with...

0
The only way to stop a bad guy with a nuclear weapon is a good guy with a nuclear weapon. That's according to the...

Five Guys make creamy mess all over Nigel Farage

0
A fresian of excitement has gripped Newcastle over the last few days, with the news that Nigel Farage would be visiting. The Brexit Party...

Goldie melts down OBE to replace pawned gold tooth

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DJ and alleged actor, Goldie, has vowed to melt down his MBE under the guise of moral outrage about some club somewhere closing down. The...

Trump tells G7 steel tariffs will ensure weapons used for mass slaughter will be...

0
Donald Trump has announced that steel and aluminium import tariffs will mitigate concerns that the Assault Rifles used in mass shootings recently have not...
Couple with dog

Possible to know same amount about Brexit by trying to hide from it as...

0
As you stagger to the bathroom in the morning, arriving before you remember you have knees, and try to get all your strikingly yellow...

UK Satirists mourn the death of Sir Antony Jay

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Sir Antony Jay, the creator of Yes Minister has died taking with him UK satire. All we have left is the equivalent of a...

Coroner rules man killed by falling trophy cabinet victim of his own success

4
The verdict has been returned by the inquest into the tragic death of Will Winnet. The coroner Dr Howie Perished has ruled he was...
Boris Johnson

Oven ready chicken refuses to leave fridge

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Despite professing for weeks that he was much more oven ready than 'that Turkey Corbyn', the world's largest chicken has refused to leave a...

Travel Chaos Hailed as “Complete Success” by French.

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French authorities today claimed that their test of the post-Brexit border checks was a complete success, with motorists in Kent delayed for hours and...

Beards officially still cool – says man with beard 

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It's the news every streetwise hipster has been waiting for and today a man from London has confirmed that beards are still the must...
Hippies Hippy

Lack of mud and misery makes Coachella not a real festival, experts reveal

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A group of specialists have confirmed that without rain, mud and warm cider, Coachella is actually not a real festival. Despite there being music, dancing...
Celebrating Santa

WOW! SECRET SANTA UPDATE – 2,644 presents and £21,570 raised

The Big Fat Secret Santa appeal we're running with NewsThump, Southend News Network, Angry People in Local Papers and Tuckered is really gathering...

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