Trump accused of damaging reputation of fat, racist golfers everywhere
Donald Trump has been asked to give up golf as he is tarnishing its reputation and attracting the wrong type of people into the...
Windsor council workers sledging to work on frozen homeless people
Councillors in Windsor have been seen sledging using the frozen bodies of homeless people.
One told us, "The council wanted them all removed for the...
There should be a free press like that Iranian TV channel I work for,...
Jeremy Corby has announced plans to shake up the media and make it more sympathetic to him and the Labour Party going forward.
The...
Panic over as Daily Mail assures everyone the fridge wasn’t bought by a white...
The Mail-online has sought to reassure readers that it was a slack-jawed, lazy, drunken black man who bought the fridge that started the Grenfell...
Amateur Orthopaedic Surgeon not as good as expert – concedes Brexit voter sick of...
Following months of "expert fatigue" the British public may now be prepared to start listening to people who know what they're fucking talking about.
Following...
Rochdale Exchange in disabled parking shake up
The Rochdale Exchange shopping centre has announced new plans for disabled parking at their 800 space multi-storey car park, The Rochdale Herald can reveal.
"We're...
“It was exhausting, sweaty, and one of the worst things I’ve ever experienced,” says...
The Coronavirus responsible for the current global pandemic, Covid-19, has described its recent infection of Prime Minister Boris Johnson as "exhausting, sweaty, and one...
4,000 job cuts at HSBC after Columbian drug cartels move accounts to Barclays
HSBC has told investors today that around 2% of the company's workforce will be made redundant with the focus on anybody who hasn't got...
Beards officially still cool – says man with beard
It's the news every streetwise hipster has been waiting for and today a man from London has confirmed that beards are still the must...
Dipshit to argue with Thicko about terrible idea
A thicko has accepted a dipshit's challenge of a debate on the telly to sort of discuss how best to implement a dreadful idea.
The...
Disabled man fails to interrupt true love’s wedding due to stairs
A man has expressed his disappointment at his inability to interrupt the wedding of the woman he loves due to lack of wheelchair access.
David...
Boris Johnson gets into Christmas spirit by ordering massive census and slaughter of children
Boris Johnson has finally got into the spirit of Christmas by ordering a massive census of everybody in the UK and slaughtering all of...
“It’s time to take back control”, writes The Queen
One's elected representatives are a complete shambles, One writes. One will not invite any of the proffered candidates to form a government. Instead one...
Queen celebrates being 22 in lizard years
The Queen has celebrated being 22 in lizard years today.
David Attenborough was there to capture the celebrations and was able to give the...
Nick Clegg to run for leadership of Libdems
Nick Clegg has announced his intention of running for the leadership of the Liberal Democrats following the shock resignation of Tim Farron.
In a speech...
‘It’s pronounced KWINAH, you pretentious f*ckwits’ confirms Quinoa
Middle class consumers were left reeling today after one of the much beloved 'super foods' they incessantly extol the virtues of confirmed that everyone...
