Chuka Umunna banned from Coventry Laser Quest for crashing children’s parties

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MP for Streatham, Chuka Umunna, has been forcibly removed from a branch of Laser Quest in Coventry for reportedly trying to join numerous children's...

Ecuadorian Ambassador contacts No. 10 “We are here if you need us”

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The Ecuadorian embassy has reached out to 10 Downing Street from its Knightsbridge address to tell Ms May, "We are here if you need us". The...

Catholic Priests in Ampleforth School Kiddy Fiddling Shocker

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In shock revelations that will shake the Roman Catholic Church to its very foundations, stories are emerging alleging child sex abuses and so called...

Herald wins “Satirical Web Page of the Year”

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It's a day of celebration at the Rochdale Herald as we are delighted to announce we have won Satirical Web Page of the Year...

Boris Johnson gets into Christmas spirit by ordering massive census and slaughter of children

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Boris Johnson has finally got into the spirit of Christmas by ordering a massive census of everybody in the UK and slaughtering all of...

Tory membership livid at Leadsom withdrawal

Tory Party Members up and down the country are reported to be livid that the withdrawal of Andrea Leadsom has robbed them of their...

Leave voters insist on still paying mobile roaming charges

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"What has the EU ever done for us?" Biff Bifshop demanded. Draped in a St George flag and holding a readiness to perform fellatio on...

Windsor council workers sledging to work on frozen homeless people

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Councillors in Windsor have been seen sledging using the frozen bodies of homeless people. One told us, "The council wanted them all removed for the...

Jeremy Clarkson’s views are irrelevant say other ageing xenophobic white people

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Daily Express readers were quite literally fuming yesterday after tall gammon icon and keen casual racist Jeremy Clarkson referred to Brexit voters as 'coffin...
Couple with dog

Season your pets before leaving them in a hot car

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do With temperatures hitting 30°C across the nation, dog owners have been warned to pay special attention to their four legged friends. Each year the RSPCA...

Knob-head hand gesture at lowest levels since records began

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A recent poll has revealed that this once loved insult has seen a sudden decline in use, and could be completely extinct by the...

Twats on train don’t know they’re twats

A large group of noisy twats on a train from London to Yorkshire are apparently unaware that they are all colossal twats. The group, who...
Ski Trip

Momentum members take comfort from prospect of cheaper ski holidays

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Whenever election results don't go as hoped, there is always a chance that the downhearted will become the outright depressed.  Fortunately, Momentum organiser Mia...

Dipshit to argue with Thicko about terrible idea

A thicko has accepted a dipshit's challenge of a debate on the telly to sort of discuss how best to implement a dreadful idea. The...

UK is an American Prison according to Alex Jones

The UK is a gigantic American prison according to balding conspiracist and radio gob Alex Jones- and Rochdale is the proof. The 42 year old-...

Disabled man fails to interrupt true love’s wedding due to stairs

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A man has expressed his disappointment at his inability to interrupt the wedding of the woman he loves due to lack of wheelchair access. David...

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