IReports from Belmarsh are that Stephen Yaxley-Lennon, the tiny provocateur with the Timmy Mallet inspired pseudonym has been fisted.  One fist from a pensioner was all it took to send him to dreamland.

We understand he had received advice on what to do inside from his “former” friends in the EDL who have served time for taking their obsession with paedophila into “re-enactment”.  Or in other words, Tommy’s nonce mates told him to get hard, once inside.

According to our source, Robinson squared up with a pensioner in the prison shower.  Deploying the flirtatious rough housing and male wrestling techniques that served him so well on the terraces, he invited the pensioner to check out how hard he was.  Robinson pressed his claim to be “cock of the wing”, against a 70 year old.

It was supposed to be an easy first conquest.  But long serving prisoner Norman Stanley Fletcher was having none of it, and felled Robinson before he could land his first blow.  “I’m not interested in having any tummy rubbing, son,” said Fletcher, after Stephen had tried to explain what he was known for.

The rest of Stephen’s time inside is likely to be uncomfortable, after showing the wing he is softer than a pensioner without access to Boots.  The tiny wee scamp is now expected to try and befriend a larger prisoner, exchanging his journalistic skills in return for protection.