Sandra Numpton of Heywood has spent the last few days driving around in her convertible Mini Cooper, sun glasses on, hair in the wind, the Summer chart toppers blaring out through her car stereo.

“It’s been bliss, don’t have to deal with getting into some oven like sweat box, I drive around in style and my tan is better.” Explained Sandra.

She continued; “I used to feel sorry for all those poor miserable sods in non-convertible cars and especially for those in old shit heaps that don’t even have air-conditioning, but as soon as the sun come out, my roof comes down and I’m too busy loving life to car about all those beneath me without a convertible.”

However, tragedy struck last night, as the days searing turned into a thunderstorm. “To save the effort of pushing a button on the morning and risk ruining my shellac, I had left the roof down.”

We asked Sandra if there was any damage; “This morning I woke up to find 4 inches of water in the foot wells, water marks all over my upholstery and to top it off, a pigeon has shat on the steering wheel.”

19th century vegetable highwayman/ satirist. Likes: the sound of a solitary house fly loitering hectically around his ear and the feeling of a warm toilet seat. Favourite topic: writing about political intrigue involving biscuits.