Scotland’s answer to Simon Danczuk, George Clementine Galloway, is inexplicably in the news again despite not being on Celebrity Big Brother. 

The ex-Labour MP and reality TV fuckwit has made headlines after his pseudo socialist Respect party finally gave up the spectre and disbanded. 

Though rather than concentrating on the rape apologist’s failure, the press has concentrated on speculating on whether or not the orange-skinned chairman of the Saddam Hussein Fan Club might rejoin the Labour Party. 

“We haven’t actually got any evidence that he will even try, let alone if he’d be allowed,” said one tabloid hack, “but it’s bound to damage Jeremy Corbyn if we bang on about it and insinuate that he represents what old Corbo stands for!”

“Obviously we’re in enough trouble as it is,” said a Labour NEC spokesperson, “but if by not denying we’re letting the lecherous, Stalinist pocket-liner rejoin we can hurt Corbyn? Well our course is clear.”

The Guardian refused to comment as they were busy trying to find incidences of Corbyn and Galloway being in the same town at the same time at any point in history and making sure Owen Smith wasn’t.

Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.