Theresa May (licence)

Scientists discover creature smaller than Theresa May’s credibility.

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Biologists wielding enormous magnifying glasses today discovered a newt thought to be the world's smallest living thing. This infinitesimal being has been proved by scientists...

Twats on train don’t know they’re twats

A large group of noisy twats on a train from London to Yorkshire are apparently unaware that they are all colossal twats. The group, who...
Surprised Santa

The Big Fat Secret Santa Appeal – 1,600 gifts bought in 48 hours

Two days ago we launched our Big Fat Secret Santa appeal with the wonderful guys and girls at NewsThump, Southend News Network, Angry People...

Southern Rail raise prices by £40 to pay for new Indian style trains to...

Beleaguered train operator Southern Rail has unveiled an ambitious new programme of investment to address overcrowding issues on commuter routes into London. The strike beset...

Beards officially still cool – says man with beard 

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It's the news every streetwise hipster has been waiting for and today a man from London has confirmed that beards are still the must...

‘Human Ken Dodd’ reveals inspiration behind unique look

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After undergoing five surgeries, changing his name by deed poll and buying a feather duster, there's no denying that Barry Conroy now bears more...

“It’s time to take back control”, writes The Queen

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One's elected representatives are a complete shambles, One writes. One will not invite any of the proffered candidates to form a government. Instead one...

Queen celebrates being 22 in lizard years

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The Queen has celebrated being 22 in lizard years today. David Attenborough was there to capture the celebrations and was able to give the...

Trident finally put on Ebay

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The Trident nuclear deterrent was today put up for sale on Ebay by the UK.  It is believed that the nuclear weapon system was bought...

Night tube wonderful, say apprentice journalists through gritted teeth 

Scores of young, underpaid trainee journalists have been drowsily typing up their reviews of the night tube over the last two mornings as their...
Rochdale Primary School

Rochdale primary school issues apology after asking kids to ‘black up’ for school play

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Scandal has again rocked the beautiful town of Rochdale this morning when news came to us of a local school that remarkably asked its...

Beards still cool, insists man with beard

As far as flash in the pan fashion trends go the 2015-2016 beard pandemic appears to be showing no sign of relenting with sales...

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