Uncategorised

The UK is a gigantic American prison according to balding conspiracist and radio gob Alex Jones- and Rochdale is the proof. The 42 year old- no, seriously we checked; he only looks 50+; said that...

A Rochdale woman today refused to confirm whether she was alright or not, following a passive aggressive cry for attention on Facebook.  The woman, 32 year old Helen, posted a Facebook status at 8.06am saying...

Engineers have said it is unlikely they will be able to restore the chimes of Big Ben in time for New Year's Eve. Chief Engineer Kevin Phillips-Bong told us "We have a problem with...

The trend in starting parliamentary petitions seems finally to be tapering off. We asked serial petition-starter Si Neer why he thinks that might be: "It's very exciting when you're sharing a petition and as it...

Bespectacled centrist Labour Party leadership candidate Owen Smith has questioned whether or not the audience at a Glasgow hustings were "entryists." This was because the audience laughed when he said that the Scottish Labour Kezia...

Bishop of Grantham Nicholas Chamberlain this morning changed his Facebook relationship to: "it's complicated!" Although being in a relationship with a man he stresses that this is a celibate relationship, and his relationship with...

"The ritualistic slaughter of goat is an essential pre-requisite for planned legislation in a parliamentary democracy." So said a spokesperson for 10 Downing Street today when explaining that the Queen's speech had to be...

Piers Morgan took to Twitter today to denounce a popular fast food chain after discovering that its Buffalo Wings don't contain any Buffalo at all. Mr Morgan accused the chain of pandering to the, "PC...

Rochdale Socialist Worker Party member and activist, Quentin Lennon, was celebrating today after finding out that he is part of the biggest political party in the UK. Quentin, who you may have seen in the...

A man and a woman managed to see news stories shared on Facebook today without thinking it proved what they already believe.  Duncan Merchant from Rochdale, 35, and Chloe S Patton from Leicester, 44, saw...

A state of emergency has been declared in a number of regions after a strange white substance fell from the sky recently. As councils were caught out, the white stuff fell in amounts not...

A fresian of excitement has gripped Newcastle over the last few days, with the news that Nigel Farage would be visiting. The Brexit Party leader has been credited for realising politics cud be mooved...

The A1(M) between Aberford and Durham has been officially redesignated the Dominic Cummings Expressway in recognition of its primary purpose of conveying the 'Special' Advisor to the Prime Minister wherever the fuck he wants...

"What has the EU ever done for us?" Biff Bifshop demanded. Draped in a St George flag and holding a readiness to perform fellatio on Nigel Farage if the opportunity ever presents, Biff knows a...

The National Executive Committee of the Labour Party has announced today that only those to the right of Tony Blair will be permitted to vote in the forthcoming leadership election. "Obviously if you're willing to...

Rochdale Herald readers will be disappointed to hear that the rumours that pornography enthusiast Simon Danczuk MP immolated himself lighting a bonfire in July are not true.  That honour goes to fellow Tory MP Gordon...