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Councillors in Windsor have been seen sledging using the frozen bodies of homeless people. One told us, "The council wanted them all removed for the royal wedding. This weather has come as a bit of...

The National Executive Committee of the Labour Party has announced today that only those to the right of Tony Blair will be permitted to vote in the forthcoming leadership election. "Obviously if you're willing to...

Jeremy Corby has announced plans to shake up the media and make it more sympathetic to him and the Labour Party going forward. The plans were announced today by the most glorious, principled, caring...

Spending a football match without a seat, crushed up against other supporters in the stand, or crouched uncomfortably in the gangway is an all-too-absolutely-never-happens experience for many. But when your ground hasn't been completed...

Donald Trump has announced that steel and aluminium import tariffs will mitigate concerns that the Assault Rifles used in mass shootings recently have not been American enough. An NRA spokesman said, "The most concerning...

Die hard Britain First members have today confirmed that there is absolutely no point in trying to get them to change their opinions by showing them truth, or using logic and reasoning. We spoke...

Following recent criticism of the Greater Manchester Road Network, Manchester City Council conducted an audit of the qualifications of the staff employed in the Road Planning Department. The audit showed serious discrepancies in key...

Young children around the UK have been advised that the best way to stop the spread of Coronavirus is by thoroughly washing their hands after licking other people and stuff they find on the...

Producers of smash-hit and hugely relevant TV show Big Brother have announced a new twist for 2019....actual celebrities will enter the Big Brother house for the first time. The show, available ad nauseam on Channel...

In a bid to balance the left leaning opinions of Mayor Magid Magid, Sheffield City Council have unveiled a new road in the south of the city which has been named after Right-Wing commentator,...

Big news in the world of politics today where the Mayor of Rushcliffe has been lambasted for not lying.  Christine Jeffreys, Mayor of Rushcliffe announced to gathered children at the Christmas lights switch on...

The longest aircraft in the world- the Airlander 10, nicknamed the flying bum- has crash landed in a field in Bedfordshire on it's second test flight.  "It was flippin' hilarious!," said Adrian Piggs, an eye...

Beleaguered train operator Southern Rail has unveiled an ambitious new programme of investment to address overcrowding issues on commuter routes into London. The strike beset operator, which hasn't had a train arrive on time since...

London - A bunch of irrelevant shitheads all got new jobs today in London. Theresa May is currently reshuffling the pack of lizards who would eat her babies if she had any in an attempt...

Whenever election results don't go as hoped, there is always a chance that the downhearted will become the outright depressed.  Fortunately, Momentum organiser Mia Miah has managed to see the bright side. "Clearly, I am...

The UK is a gigantic American prison according to balding conspiracist and radio gob Alex Jones- and Rochdale is the proof. The 42 year old- no, seriously we checked; he only looks 50+; said that...