LLocal woman Mia Wombley has been telling everyone she knows about the horrendous new legislation in Alabama.  Local senators, duelling their banjo strings, have asserted the importance of men to control women’s bodies before, during, and after rape.

“This is further evidence of what happens when you elect a far right government that didn’t even win the popular vote.  Imagine if we elected a bunch of incompetent right wingers propped up by votes coming from a bunch of self-defined Christians showing no form of compassion?”

Mia can think of a billion reasons why this appalling situation is something we would never tolerate in the UK.

“We simply wouldn’t allow it.  We don’t have the same kind of states legislation here.  And if we did, there is absolutely no way that people in England would just leave other countries in the UK to go whistle if they didn’t have the same rights as us.”

Mia is aware that women from Northern Ireland occasionally “catch the boat to Liverpool” but she believes this is to watch intermittently good football. 

“Look, it is important that we Brits all tell the Americans what’s what and explain at length, on twitter, why we have the moral high ground as usual.  I’d encourage any woman, or woke man, from England, Wales, Scotland, or anywhere else in the UK to join me in this campaign and tell all those Americans on twitter why they are wrong.”

DUP leader Robbie Coltrane was unavailable for comment.