Tuesday, December 18, 2018
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Roy Ters

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Government responds to Saddleworth Moor crisis by pledging further cuts to Fire Fighting services

Greater Manchester Fire & Rescue Service were today boosted in their thankless quest to control the ongoing fires sweeping Saddleworth Moor by the news...

Stockport Town Centre awarded UNESCO World Heritage status

There were celebrations the length of Heaton Moor to Hazel Grove yesterday, as UNESCO officials announced Stockport Town Centre is to become a World...

Ice Cream headache pandemic reaches CRISIS point, as heatwave TERROR continues

With millions of Britons terrified by the recent apparition of a giant ball of fire in the sky, there was further harrowing news today,...
Tony the Tiger

Tony the Tiger calls out Jamie Oliver after cereal box slur

Celebrity spotters and various other people with naff all better going on in their lives were feverishly screaming over rumours of a celebrity feud...
Office Workers

Passive aggressive colleague is genuinely ‘looking forward to your reply’

An office worker who regularly distributes passive aggressive emails genuinely is 'looking forward to your response' because he is very lonely and has little...
Houses of Parliament

Boost for NHS as Government pledges 50% of uncollected change from vending machines over...

The NHS received a much needed boost today, after Number 10 kindly pledged to plough a sizeable portion of uncollected change from all Government...

Man receives bravery award for going into work with Cold

A Rochdale man was praised for his bravery and selfless act of dedication this morning after he heroically battled through the worst cold he...

Zuckerberg assures Facebook have absolutely no information about your STD

It's a sore subject that can become inflamed easily but there's an itch that needs to be scratched. In the wake of the fall out...

Angry northerner rises up against culture of Fake Brews

A Lancastrian man fed up with the culture of 'fake brews' currently sweeping the nation has took it upon himself to show the masses...

Relief for constipated Dog after long search for the perfect spot leads to Downing...

There was massive relief for the owner of a constipated dog today, as their long search for the perfect dumping spot finally ended in...
Car Crash

Uber to consult UK Government for advice on dealing with driverless car crashes

Following the tragic death of a pedestrian knocked down by a driverless Uber vehicle, the taxi giant confirmed it would be consulting UK Government...
Ant and Dec

Ant McPartlin’s forehead to be used as theatre wheelchair ramp as part of community...

There was a much needed boost for disabled theatre lovers today, as a West End theatre confirmed they had secured the use of Ant...

Fears for local man missing in Ikea

Fears were increasing today for an intrepid, brave, noble man who has been missing in Ikea for 14 days. Steve Dickinson from Dukinfield...

Vegans & Fruitarians to settle differences with pissing contest in Co-op car park

Long held tensions between Orthodox Vegans & followers of it's subsidiary Fruitarianism about which is the most ethical way of life finally came to...
Sunshine

Cumbrian Man hospitalised after lethal exposure to Vitamin D

The recent weather worries in Cumbria worsened this morning, after 12 minutes of unseasonable partial sunshine exposed a fell walker to lethal levels of...

BBC confirm David Icke to host next series of Saturday Kitchen

There was good news for truth seekers, Illuminati exposers and the generally paranoid today, as the BBC confirmed the Son of God David Icke...

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