Whenever election results don’t go as hoped, there is always a chance that the downhearted will become the outright depressed.  Fortunately, Momentum organiser Mia Miah has managed to see the bright side.

“Clearly, I am devastated that the electorate has persisted with its anti-Corbyn bias. However, with the focus on the election, my friends and I have held off from booking our annual ski trip until now. We had a quick look at some ideas this morning, and let me tell you, the pound has surged against the Euro so we really can turn up the dial on the communal chalet lifestyle this year,” confided Mx Miah.

Their friend Gowan Begum agreed, observing “whilst the northerners have weakened the red wall by being thick racists keen to lick the boots of their oppressors again, I confess I’ve seen a more than moderate uptick in the value of my ISA.  It’s certainly heading up a lot faster than the first lift out of St.Anton and has rather cushioned the blow somewhat. Where we really will gather Momentum though is on the slalom.  I’m hoping that will generate some great ideas for my thesis.”

Momentum’s Alpine conference “Corbynism apres Corbynski” is expected to cover just how badly the working classes have let themselves down. The pair intend to do a short interview with Novara Media in Luton Airport to show Britain at its worst, before heading for the slopes.