Young people cause cancer Daily Mail warns
The Daily Mail has exclusively revealed that British youth is causing cancer.
In its article on the subject the Mail pointed out that British youths...
Prince Philip spends night lying on coat of arms on hospital floor
The ninety seven-year-old Duke of Edinburgh who has suspected flu was forced to sleep on a hospital treatment room floor because of a lack...
Greta Thunberg releases Scandinavian Death Metal album.
The music world has been surprised by the release of an album by Greta Thunberg and the Prophets of Doom, a new death metal...
For Fuck’s Sake, sighs Britain
The entire United Kingdom muttered "for fuck's sake" in unision yesterday afternoon after learning that Boris Johnson has been "elected: new Conservative leader and...
A1 to Durham renamed The Dominic Cummings Expressway
The A1(M) between Aberford and Durham has been officially redesignated the Dominic Cummings Expressway in recognition of its primary purpose of conveying the 'Special'...
It’s impossible to sandpaper a netball, concede Australians
Long standing dominance of sport by Australia and New Zealand ended by incredible English performance
Some say Australian carpentry skill brings them closer to Christ....
Death, Taxes and Rail Fare rises
A report issued by the TUC today shows that rail fares are rising twice as fast as commuters levels of despair. The trades union...
Standard government response to petitions revealed to be – F&@k off Plebs
The trend in starting parliamentary petitions seems finally to be tapering off. We asked serial petition-starter Si Neer why he thinks that might be:
"It's...
City Traders delighted to cash in on RBS free money Bonanza
The Government has announced a radical new plan to help, hard pressed, under-performing multi-million pound hedge fund managers make up the short-fall in their balance...
Brexit Party candidate apologises for not wearing poppy on his Nazi uniform
Brexit Party candidate Graham Cushway has been forced to issue an apology after being spotted without a Remembrance Day poppy on his Luftwaffe uniform.
Mr...
US celebrates after number of days so far this year overtakes number of mass...
Americans across America are celebrating the fact that for the first time since the invention of calendars there have been more days in the...
Knackered dam describes Boris Johnson as looking ‘dodgy and unstable’
A knackered dam in Derbyshire has described the UK prime minister as looking "dodgy but unstable" and a "substantial risk".
The dam in Whaley Bridge...
Oven ready chicken refuses to leave fridge
Despite professing for weeks that he was much more oven ready than 'that Turkey Corbyn', the world's largest chicken has refused to leave a...
Mcdonalds to stop giving away assault rifles in Happy Meals in some US states
Four states in America have stopped giving away free assault rifles with every Happy Meal deal as a direct response to KFC banning knives...
NHS gift vouchers to become nation’s favourite christmas stocking fillers
People up and down the country will be able to show their loved ones how much they care by buying gift vouchers for NHS...
Armed Republican men protesting being told what do with their bodies
Heavily armed pro-life nitwits across America have taken to the streets in protest in being told to stay at home to save lives.
The crowds...
