House of Commons Toilets to Close in wake of Fabric Closure
After the closure of the famous London nightclub Fabric by Islington council, due to people taking drugs there, it was announced today that the...
Harry and Meghan to take holiday from going on holiday
The palace has revealed this morning that plans are in place to give the Duke and Duchess of Sussex a well deserved break from...
Trump and Kim Jong Un to meet on Love Island
A rearranged summit between Donald Trump and Kim Jong Un will take place on Love Island.
The news comes amid speculation that a high ranking...
Dipshit to argue with Thicko about terrible idea
A thicko has accepted a dipshit's challenge of a debate on the telly to sort of discuss how best to implement a dreadful idea.
The...
Local woman wins award for most middle class comment 2016
A local woman has won Rochdale's coveted "Most Middle Class Comment 2016" at a dinner party this weekend.
Barbara Dickinson was attending a dinner party...
Conservatives to trial ‘career houses’
The new Secretary of State for Work and Pensions, Damien Green, unveiled the plans earlier today in parliament.
The policy, which will see families currently...
Alabama legislature confirms blacks still welcome to get abortions or be shot by police
Emergency session of Alabama state legislature passes important exemption
In an emergency session of the Alabama state legislature, State Senator Garlan Gudger proposed an amendment...
Oven ready chicken refuses to leave fridge
Despite professing for weeks that he was much more oven ready than 'that Turkey Corbyn', the world's largest chicken has refused to leave a...
Only a good guy with a nuclear weapon can stop a bad guy with...
The only way to stop a bad guy with a nuclear weapon is a good guy with a nuclear weapon. That's according to the...
Cabinet to wear face masks during Cobra meeting as precaution against Coronavirus
The prime minister and senior members of the cabinet are to wear full face masks during today's Cobra meeting to decide whether to bring...
Galloway Still Not Gone Away
Scotland's answer to Simon Danczuk, George Clementine Galloway, is inexplicably in the news again despite not being on Celebrity Big Brother.
The ex-Labour MP...
Man fakes own death to avoid helping mum set up new iPhone
A Rochdale man has been found alive and well living in Panama after apparently faking his own death in a canoeing accident at Greenbooth...
Panic over as Daily Mail assures everyone the fridge wasn’t bought by a white...
The Mail-online has sought to reassure readers that it was a slack-jawed, lazy, drunken black man who bought the fridge that started the Grenfell...
Possible to know same amount about Brexit by trying to hide from it as...
As you stagger to the bathroom in the morning, arriving before you remember you have knees, and try to get all your strikingly yellow...
Ecuadorian Ambassador contacts No. 10 “We are here if you need us”
The Ecuadorian embassy has reached out to 10 Downing Street from its Knightsbridge address to tell Ms May, "We are here if you need us".
The...
Rupert Murdoch’s face breaks ageing app
Media tycoon and ancient demonic scrotum, Rupert Murdoch has broken viral photo editor FaceApp, attempting to see what his face would look like in...
