A1 to Durham renamed The Dominic Cummings Expressway
The A1(M) between Aberford and Durham has been officially redesignated the Dominic Cummings Expressway in recognition of its primary purpose of conveying the 'Special'...
Vegetable that looks like Prince Charles discovered on Rochdale allotment
A Rochdale man has spoken to us about vegetable he has found that looks remarkably like Prince Charles.
Bill Board told us, "It was last...
Jeremy Clarkson’s views are irrelevant say other ageing xenophobic white people
Daily Express readers were quite literally fuming yesterday after tall gammon icon and keen casual racist Jeremy Clarkson referred to Brexit voters as 'coffin...
Big Brother to launch Celebrity version with actual celebrities in 2019
Producers of smash-hit and hugely relevant TV show Big Brother have announced a new twist for 2019....actual celebrities will enter the Big Brother house...
If sausage rolls were made out of Piers Morgan we’d make an exception, confirm...
Vegans around the UK have unanimously voted to have Piers Morgan reclassified as a vegetable so that they can murder and eat him, according...
‘It’s pronounced KWINAH, you pretentious f*ckwits’ confirms Quinoa
Middle class consumers were left reeling today after one of the much beloved 'super foods' they incessantly extol the virtues of confirmed that everyone...
New Year to be rung in with chimes of Brussels Cathedral
Engineers have said it is unlikely they will be able to restore the chimes of Big Ben in time for New Year's Eve.
Chief...
UK is an American Prison according to Alex Jones
The UK is a gigantic American prison according to balding conspiracist and radio gob Alex Jones- and Rochdale is the proof.
The 42 year old-...
Scientists warn firing Formula 1 grid girls will lead to increase in race related...
Science - In a leaked Sport England research paper, several sports scientists have warned over the removal of the usual checks and balances deployed...
David Davis tells Select Committee the dog ate his Brexit Impact Assessment
David Davis, the Secretary for Probably Exiting the European Union, has confirmed to the House of Lords Select Committee that he has definitely done...
Trump and Kim Jong Un to meet on Love Island
A rearranged summit between Donald Trump and Kim Jong Un will take place on Love Island.
The news comes amid speculation that a high ranking...
Donald Trump to appoint Mr Muscle™ as his new Coronavirus advisor
In a move that has been described as both "batshit crazy" and "utterly, utterly mental", US President Donald Trump has revealed plans to appoint...
Possible to know same amount about Brexit by trying to hide from it as...
As you stagger to the bathroom in the morning, arriving before you remember you have knees, and try to get all your strikingly yellow...
Man who doesn’t support party leader confused by people not supporting party leader
Bespectacled centrist Labour Party leadership candidate Owen Smith has questioned whether or not the audience at a Glasgow hustings were "entryists."
This was because the...
Anglican bishop changes Facebook relationship status to – it’s complicated
Bishop of Grantham Nicholas Chamberlain this morning changed his Facebook relationship to: "it's complicated!" Although being in a relationship with a man he stresses...
Coroner rules man killed by falling trophy cabinet victim of his own success
The verdict has been returned by the inquest into the tragic death of Will Winnet. The coroner Dr Howie Perished has ruled he was...
