Tommy Robinson fisted by pensioner in prison shower
IReports from Belmarsh are that Stephen Yaxley-Lennon, the tiny provocateur with the Timmy Mallet inspired pseudonym has been fisted. One fist from a pensioner...
Chris Evans to host new BBC bake off show
Red headed billionaire Christopher Evans has been confirmed as the new host of the Beeb's brand new baking show designed to take the place...
Brexiters excited to leave the EU posthumously
According to a recent poll, Leave voters up and down the country are excited at the prospect of leaving the EU posthumously.
Following continuous delays...
Britain buoyed by approval of Autumn Olympics
There were wild scenes of celebration from keen athletics fans up and down the UK this morning, as the head of the Seasonal Olympics...
“It was exhausting, sweaty, and one of the worst things I’ve ever experienced,” says...
The Coronavirus responsible for the current global pandemic, Covid-19, has described its recent infection of Prime Minister Boris Johnson as "exhausting, sweaty, and one...
“It’s time to take back control”, writes The Queen
One's elected representatives are a complete shambles, One writes. One will not invite any of the proffered candidates to form a government. Instead one...
Season your pets before leaving them in a hot car
do
With temperatures hitting 30°C across the nation, dog owners have been warned to pay special attention to their four legged friends.
Each year the RSPCA...
Firms reports record customer satisfaction levels after using cocaine delivery gang to deliver parcels
Delivery firms that specialise in not delivering your parcels have reported a huge increase in customer satisfaction levels.
The news comes following the companies use...
Standard government response to petitions revealed to be – F&@k off Plebs
The trend in starting parliamentary petitions seems finally to be tapering off. We asked serial petition-starter Si Neer why he thinks that might be:
"It's...
Leave voters insist on still paying mobile roaming charges
"What has the EU ever done for us?" Biff Bifshop demanded.
Draped in a St George flag and holding a readiness to perform fellatio on...
Galloway Still Not Gone Away
Scotland's answer to Simon Danczuk, George Clementine Galloway, is inexplicably in the news again despite not being on Celebrity Big Brother.
The ex-Labour MP...
Night tube wonderful, say apprentice journalists through gritted teeth
Scores of young, underpaid trainee journalists have been drowsily typing up their reviews of the night tube over the last two mornings as their...
Local woman wins award for most middle class comment 2016
A local woman has won Rochdale's coveted "Most Middle Class Comment 2016" at a dinner party this weekend.
Barbara Dickinson was attending a dinner party...
8,179 presents worth more than £61,400 bought for disadvantaged children
You guys are incredible. Less than twelve hours ago we learned through Angry People in Local Newspapers that the gift appeal for poor children...
Far Right groups threaten to tear down statues of Prophet Mohammed
Far right groups have pledged to tear down all statues of the Prophet Mohammed following the recent scoop in the Daily Express that the...
Man who doesn’t support party leader confused by people not supporting party leader
Bespectacled centrist Labour Party leadership candidate Owen Smith has questioned whether or not the audience at a Glasgow hustings were "entryists."
This was because the...
