Labour Party pledge to make it cheaper for young people to get stabbed on...
The Labour Party has announced a new policy that will allow young people to get stabbed on night buses much more cheaply.
Labour spokesman, Stan...
Momentum members take comfort from prospect of cheaper ski holidays
Whenever election results don't go as hoped, there is always a chance that the downhearted will become the outright depressed. Fortunately, Momentum organiser Mia...
Flying Arse Crashes Nose First
The longest aircraft in the world- the Airlander 10, nicknamed the flying bum- has crash landed in a field in Bedfordshire on it's second...
Greater Manchester Road Planning Department forced to resit Key Stage One after failing finger...
Following recent criticism of the Greater Manchester Road Network, Manchester City Council conducted an audit of the qualifications of the staff employed in the...
UK Satirists mourn the death of Sir Antony Jay
Sir Antony Jay, the creator of Yes Minister has died taking with him UK satire. All we have left is the equivalent of a...
Tory membership livid at Leadsom withdrawal
Tory Party Members up and down the country are reported to be livid that the withdrawal of Andrea Leadsom has robbed them of their...
Local woman wins award for most middle class comment 2016
A local woman has won Rochdale's coveted "Most Middle Class Comment 2016" at a dinner party this weekend.
Barbara Dickinson was attending a dinner party...
World Health Organisation upgrades five-second rule to three seconds rule
The World Health Organisation has taken the unprecedented step of upgrading the five-second rule to just three seconds.
As the deadly Coronavirus pandemic sweeps the...
Airlines grounded for Black Death containment
Jeremy Rhymes-With has ordered the gargantuan and wealthy NHS to enact its Black Death emergency plan.
Most of the staff were just weaving baskets anyway...
For Fuck’s Sake, sighs Britain
The entire United Kingdom muttered "for fuck's sake" in unision yesterday afternoon after learning that Boris Johnson has been "elected: new Conservative leader and...
Knob-head hand gesture at lowest levels since records began
A recent poll has revealed that this once loved insult has seen a sudden decline in use, and could be completely extinct by the...
Woman appalled by Alabama abortion laws ‘sort of aware’ of Northern Ireland
LLocal woman Mia Wombley has been telling everyone she knows about the horrendous new legislation in Alabama. Local senators, duelling their banjo strings, have...
Tommy Robinson thrown out of restaurant after complaining about ‘Allah Cart’ menu
Tommy Robinson has been thrown out of a restaurant in Oldham after a campaign event today after starting a row with the manager over...
Tommy Robinson fisted by pensioner in prison shower
IReports from Belmarsh are that Stephen Yaxley-Lennon, the tiny provocateur with the Timmy Mallet inspired pseudonym has been fisted. One fist from a pensioner...
Cat who shit in litter tray lined with Daily Mail appointed editor
A cat who took a poo in a litter tray lined with a copy of the Daily Mail has been named as new editor...
Knackered dam describes Boris Johnson as looking ‘dodgy and unstable’
A knackered dam in Derbyshire has described the UK prime minister as looking "dodgy but unstable" and a "substantial risk".
The dam in Whaley Bridge...
