It’s impossible to sandpaper a netball, concede Australians
Long standing dominance of sport by Australia and New Zealand ended by incredible English performance
Some say Australian carpentry skill brings them closer to Christ....
10 injured after multi trolley pile up in dash to newly opened til at...
Reports are coming in that there has been a serious collision at Middleton Lidl. It is believed the carnage was a result of an inexperienced...
Chuka Umunna banned from Coventry Laser Quest for crashing children’s parties
MP for Streatham, Chuka Umunna, has been forcibly removed from a branch of Laser Quest in Coventry for reportedly trying to join numerous children's...
Labour, the Social DEMOCRATIC Party, takes more steps to prevent undesirables from voting
The National Executive Committee of the Labour Party has announced today that only those to the right of Tony Blair will be permitted to...
Jesus slammed for not following government advice after going out and getting hammered
A 33 year old man from Galilee has been criticised by the GNP, Greater Nazareth Police, after reportedly having a massive dinner party with...
Twats on train don’t know they’re twats
A large group of noisy twats on a train from London to Yorkshire are apparently unaware that they are all colossal twats.
The group, who...
Posh people forced to talk about football while England still in World Cup
Ex-Public School boys and Hooray Henry's are having to talk about football and they aren't enjoying it. Whether they're at work, on the golf...
Saudi Women win right to be dumped by text
In a landmark ruling in Saudi Arabia women have finally won the right to be dumped by text message.
The victory follows the incredible shift...
Amateur Orthopaedic Surgeon not as good as expert – concedes Brexit voter sick of...
Following months of "expert fatigue" the British public may now be prepared to start listening to people who know what they're fucking talking about.
Following...
Nick Clegg to run for leadership of Libdems
Nick Clegg has announced his intention of running for the leadership of the Liberal Democrats following the shock resignation of Tim Farron.
In a speech...
Flying Arse Crashes Nose First
The longest aircraft in the world- the Airlander 10, nicknamed the flying bum- has crash landed in a field in Bedfordshire on it's second...
The Rochdale Herald’s top 10 tips for hating Meghan Markle
The Daily Mail and The Daily Express have today announced that Britons will be expected to devote as much as 14 hours a day...
Queen celebrates being 22 in lizard years
The Queen has celebrated being 22 in lizard years today.
David Attenborough was there to capture the celebrations and was able to give the...
Public outcry as politician caught out telling the truth
Big news in the world of politics today where the Mayor of Rushcliffe has been lambasted for not lying. Christine Jeffreys, Mayor of Rushcliffe...
The Big Fat Secret Santa Appeal – 1,600 gifts bought in 48 hours
Two days ago we launched our Big Fat Secret Santa appeal with the wonderful guys and girls at NewsThump, Southend News Network, Angry People...
NHS gift vouchers to become nation’s favourite christmas stocking fillers
People up and down the country will be able to show their loved ones how much they care by buying gift vouchers for NHS...
