‘It’s pronounced KWINAH, you pretentious f*ckwits’ confirms Quinoa
Middle class consumers were left reeling today after one of the much beloved 'super foods' they incessantly extol the virtues of confirmed that everyone...
Mcdonalds to stop giving away assault rifles in Happy Meals in some US states
Four states in America have stopped giving away free assault rifles with every Happy Meal deal as a direct response to KFC banning knives...
Physicists discover Brexit actually a black hole that feeds on political parties
The astrophysics world has been in overdrive this week at the announcement of a newly discovered black hole located somewhere over the English Channel.
The...
Trump accused of damaging reputation of fat, racist golfers everywhere
Donald Trump has been asked to give up golf as he is tarnishing its reputation and attracting the wrong type of people into the...
Danczuk not immolated in Bonfire accident
Rochdale Herald readers will be disappointed to hear that the rumours that pornography enthusiast Simon Danczuk MP immolated himself lighting a bonfire in July...
Europol warns of New Wave jihadis
Jihadis are entering the country on false passports according to Europol, heralding a New Wave.
Since the uproar regarding burkhinis on the beautiful beaches of...
Sale of over-counter Viagra faces stiff opposition
The Women's Institute are lobbying the Health Secretary demanding that Viagra only be available through prescription and after consultation with a Doctor.
Recent changes bought...
‘Human Ken Dodd’ reveals inspiration behind unique look
After undergoing five surgeries, changing his name by deed poll and buying a feather duster, there's no denying that Barry Conroy now bears more...
It’s impossible to sandpaper a netball, concede Australians
Long standing dominance of sport by Australia and New Zealand ended by incredible English performance
Some say Australian carpentry skill brings them closer to Christ....
Saudi Women win right to be dumped by text
In a landmark ruling in Saudi Arabia women have finally won the right to be dumped by text message.
The victory follows the incredible shift...
House of Commons Toilets to Close in wake of Fabric Closure
After the closure of the famous London nightclub Fabric by Islington council, due to people taking drugs there, it was announced today that the...
“I don’t believe in that fat old man in the dodgy suit” says Santa...
Father Christmas has come out in a blistering denunciation of Donald Trump today, stating categorically that he doesn't believe in him.
In an interview with...
Rochdale primary school issues apology after asking kids to ‘black up’ for school play
Scandal has again rocked the beautiful town of Rochdale this morning when news came to us of a local school that remarkably asked its...
Tommy Robinson thrown out of restaurant after complaining about ‘Allah Cart’ menu
Tommy Robinson has been thrown out of a restaurant in Oldham after a campaign event today after starting a row with the manager over...
Queen celebrates being 22 in lizard years
The Queen has celebrated being 22 in lizard years today.
David Attenborough was there to capture the celebrations and was able to give the...
Piers Morgan furious after discovering Buffalo Wings don’t contain Buffalo
Piers Morgan took to Twitter today to denounce a popular fast food chain after discovering that its Buffalo Wings don't contain any Buffalo at...
