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The ninety seven-year-old Duke of Edinburgh who has suspected flu was forced to sleep on a hospital treatment room floor because of a lack of brand new, un-used gold-leaf beds with swan-down pillows and...

Following her first speech in the European Parliament, we have avoided the term 'maiden speech' as all her speeches are maiden, Anne Widdecombe has acted decisively. In order not to be accused of hypocrisy when...

The longest aircraft in the world- the Airlander 10, nicknamed the flying bum- has crash landed in a field in Bedfordshire on it's second test flight.  "It was flippin' hilarious!," said Adrian Piggs, an eye...

LLocal woman Mia Wombley has been telling everyone she knows about the horrendous new legislation in Alabama.  Local senators, duelling their banjo strings, have asserted the importance of men to control women's bodies before,...

The Conservative Party is facing a huge crisis today after its entire membership was arrested during a clampdown on middle class cocaine users. PC Drug-Bust McGee told us, "We'd heard there was a huge gathering...

The only way to stop a bad guy with a nuclear weapon is a good guy with a nuclear weapon. That's according to the Iranian Government anyway. In a speech a spokesman said, "Iraq, Syria,...

Jeremy Rhymes-With has ordered the gargantuan and wealthy NHS to enact its Black Death emergency plan. Most of the staff were just weaving baskets anyway while watching television and waiting to see which public service...

A local woman has won Rochdale's coveted "Most Middle Class Comment 2016" at a dinner party this weekend. Barbara Dickinson was attending a dinner party at a friend's second holiday home (well, strictly speaking third)...

You guys are incredible. Less than twelve hours ago we learned through Angry People in Local Newspapers that the gift appeal for poor children in Fife was struggling to find gifts for 600 children.  Today...

News that the UK's first halal food bank is to open in Rochdale this week was greeted enthusiastically by local residents and village elders alike. Visitors to the food bank will have to remove their...

Jeremy Corby has announced plans to shake up the media and make it more sympathetic to him and the Labour Party going forward. The plans were announced today by the most glorious, principled, caring...

A cat who took a poo in a litter tray lined with a copy of the Daily Mail has been named as new editor of the paper, and will replace Geordie Greig later this...

A recent poll has revealed that this once loved insult has seen a sudden decline in use, and could be completely extinct by the year 2025. For years, the simple hand gesture was a staple...

Everybody in the UK has collectively asked if they really, really, really have to go out now that they've gone through the fun bit of getting ready. People around the country who are about to...

A Yorkshire man has been rushed to hospital after it was suspected he had the most serious strain of the Aussie flu virus known in the country. Stan Dupp, a recruiment consultant from Harrogate, was...

Red headed billionaire Christopher Evans has been confirmed as the new host of the Beeb's brand new baking show designed to take the place of their previous smash hit since losing the rights to...