Trump tells G7 steel tariffs will ensure weapons used for mass slaughter will be...
Donald Trump has announced that steel and aluminium import tariffs will mitigate concerns that the Assault Rifles used in mass shootings recently have not...
Chris Evans to host new BBC bake off show
Red headed billionaire Christopher Evans has been confirmed as the new host of the Beeb's brand new baking show designed to take the place...
Clean-shaven white van man obviously failed by mental health services
A clean-shaven, white man has been arrested outside a Mosque in Finsbury, London, after his van veered off the road and directly into eleven...
‘How many roads must a man walk down before he can call himself a...
Researchers have proved that the number of roads a man must walk down before you call him a man is greater than, or equal...
Joe Swanson elected leader of the Liberal Democrats
The popular ex-policeman is predicted to cause almost as many people to support the Lib Dems as the leaders of the Labour and Conservative...
NHS gift vouchers to become nation’s favourite christmas stocking fillers
People up and down the country will be able to show their loved ones how much they care by buying gift vouchers for NHS...
Downing Street orders all fans removed as Storm Stable hits UK
Theresa May has ordered all fans removed from government premises immediately to limit the damage of Storm Stable.
The storm is already sweeping across the...
Leave voters incensed as EU threatens to take away Continental summer weather
Leave voters voiced their anger today as the EU threatened to take away the Continental weather that sees England baking in sunshine and heat...
Prince Harry and Meghan to get holiday from going on holiday
The palace has revealed this morning that plans are in place to give the Duke and Duchess of Sussex a well deserved break from...
Donald Trump to appoint Mr Muscle™ as his new Coronavirus advisor
In a move that has been described as both "batshit crazy" and "utterly, utterly mental", US President Donald Trump has revealed plans to appoint...
Yeah, well I didn’t want an election anyway, so ner, huffs ridiculous man child
The degradation of formerly Great Britain continued this week, with the news that Boris Johnson has again failed in his attempt to call a...
Prince Philip declared fit to work by Atos
Prince Philip has been declared fit for work by Atos less than an hour after he was admitted to hospital yesterday.
Officials said "that...
Jeremy Clarkson’s views are irrelevant say other ageing xenophobic white people
Daily Express readers were quite literally fuming yesterday after tall gammon icon and keen casual racist Jeremy Clarkson referred to Brexit voters as 'coffin...
Trust me to deliver Brexit, says woman you wouldn’t trust to deliver a pizza
"I'll deliver Brexit just like I deliver pizza." That's what Theresa May said and people have been queuing up to say that that's Brexit...
Physicists discover Brexit actually a black hole that feeds on political parties
The astrophysics world has been in overdrive this week at the announcement of a newly discovered black hole located somewhere over the English Channel.
The...
Britain’s first halal food bank to open in Rochdale
News that the UK's first halal food bank is to open in Rochdale this week was greeted enthusiastically by local residents and village elders...
