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Wrandle River

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G4S wins plum contract to monitor domestic waste disposal inside homes

David David MP, the Minister for Local Government was forced into the public gaze today to confirm that G4S has been awarded the coveted...

Southern Rail passengers treated for nausea after train unexpectedly moves

Reports from south London this afternoon state there was a dramatic and disturbing experience for dozens of Southern passengers when their train actually moved. The...
Kuenssberg

Twitter scientists confirm discovery of human parrot hybrid that only speaks Tory

The BBC’s most insightful political journalist has been discovered to be a species of parrot and awarded a delightful new name today by natural...

EU to offer May reproduction of Munch’s The Scream to hang in 10 Downing...

The woman who believes she is British Prime Minister is to travel to Florence tomorrow to give a one date stand up performance in...
Kuenssberg

Laura Kuenssberg is a parrot confirm scientists analysing Twitter

The BBC’s most insightful political journalist has been discovered to be a species of parrot and awarded a delightful new name today by natural...

Intrepid British journalists discover tribe of foreigners who don’t let each other die in...

The British media world was stunned today by the discovery of a tribe of non-British humans who actually attempt to save each other after...

Babies born in Britain today to hear about home ownership via myths and legends

Researchers from the Rochdale Institute for Social Morphology released today the results of their latest study into the changing oral traditions of the British...
Pensioners

It’s not our fault you can’t afford a house, say Thatcherite geriatrics to younger...

British geriatrics were claiming victory this afternoon in the long held ‘it was better in the old days’ debate against younger demographics. Research released by...

Met Office advise all future storms named Storm Boris until May gets the balls...

The Met Office has released a statement this lunch time advising that all storms to hit the United Kingdom this winter will be named...

Rochdale voted town most likely to turn to cannibalism first in post Brexit food...

Success came to Rochdale today as Britain voted and decided that Rochdale was the town most likely to first turn to cannibalism in the...

Time Team special feature digging for past evidence of honesty in British politics

Tony Robinson is expected to take to Twitter this evening to announce an upcoming ‘Time Team’ special feature in which he and the gang...

Statistics confirm three kinds of lies; lies, damned lies and Boris Johnson’s statistics

UK Statistics Authority have reaffirmed the old adage today that there are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and Boris Johnson’s use of...

There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and Boris Johnson’s statistics

UK Statistics Authority have reaffirmed the old adage today that there are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and Boris Johnson’s use of...

Miley Cyrus to sue Boris Johnson for £350M over unauthorised cover of “Wrecking Ball”

The worlds of entertainment and politics appear to have combined this morning with the speculation that pop superstar Miley Cyrus is expected to sue...

Channel 4 GBBO winner to bake Noel Fielding into space cake and consume him

Television pundits were going mad this afternoon with the leaked news that the finale of Great British Bake Off on Channel 4 features the...

President Trump outlaws Donald Trump in white supremacists condemnation order

American race relations looked to be on the upturn today after President Donald Trump responded to the calls from Congress to condemn white supremacists...

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