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Wrandle River

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Toymaker confesses he made Melania Trump to keep Pinocchio company

A Tuscan toymaker has ended days of speculation by confessing he made a new female doll to keep his infamous, lying, long nosed boy...

Average household savings wiped out by demonetisation of old pound coins under sofa cushions

The Office for National Savings released alarming figures this morning suggesting that average household savings in the United Kingdom had been all but wiped...

Wife suspects husband of having an affair with his shed

A wife has begun to suspect her husband of having an affair with his shed. “He was the most doting husband when we first married,”...

May to leave dinner middle of main course and refuse to say what she’ll...

Downing Street has rushed to reassure an anxious British public today that the prime minister will leave her dinner with EU counterparts this evening...

David Davis reveals he’s accidentally been attending PTA meetings in Brussels and has no...

There were refreshing bursts of honesty in the ritual Brexit update today when David Davis revealed he’s only just worked out he’s been attending...

Island hipster cafe causes uproar with coal roasted pulled puffin bap breakfast

The Island cafe in Kirkwall has hit the national news headlines today for all the wrong reasons for its coal roasted, pulled puffin bap...

Heath department hails compulsory organ donation as possible way to pay for Brexit

Sources inside the Department of Health this evening are said to be excited over the Secretary of State's alleged contribution to the debate about...
Theresa May

UK to hold referendum on whether or not to carry on pretending May knows...

The Home Office announced this morning that voters in the U.K. will be asked to tick yes or no again in a referendum shortly....

May to seek permission from Rupert Murdoch to sack Boris Johnson

The Rochdale Herald can reveal this afternoon that Theresa May is alleged to have written to British Prime Minister Rupert Murdoch seeking permission to...

Argentina offers to invade Falklands Islands for £1B if that will help May?

A man claiming to represent Argentina has allegedly phoned the British prime minister and said for £1 billion they will pretend to invade the...

Letter F dies of embarrassment during conference speech

Paramedics and specialists in typesetting were seen rushing to the site of a terrifying incident at the Conservative Party conference in Manchester earlier in...

Britons to get easy sex after Brexit as the entire world lines up to...

Good news on the prospects with Brexit this afternoon as news broke that the entire world is lining up to provide easy sex for...

Border collie describes his life as a series of trials

Malcolm, an inner city border collie, has spoken exclusively to the Rochdale Herald and explained he does not understand why the children in his...
Rees Mogg

Britons to get easy sex after Brexit as the whole world lines up to...

Good news on the prospects with Brexit this afternoon as news broke that the entire world is lining up to provide easy sex for...

Family dog doesn’t understand why you reward your children with food

Malcolm, an inner city border collie, has spoken exclusively to the Rochdale Herald and explained he does not understand why the children in his...

Rope supplier refusing to sell more to Conservatives as they have enough

‘Any Old Rope Will Do’, a rope and string supplier from Dagenham, is under threat of legal action today after refusing to sell anymore...

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