A Tuscan toymaker has ended days of speculation by confessing he made a new female doll to keep his infamous, lying, long nosed boy Pinocchio company.
“He already had a human wife,” Mister Geppetto admitted, “But he was always complaining to me ‘My wife Melania, she doesn’t like to stand next to me when I give my big speeches to the boys and girls. You have to help me Mister Geppetto. She must always be smiling or I’ll lose one point in approval ratings each time she frowns.’ I knew he wasn’t lying because his nose did not grow when he complained.”
It seems that Pinocchio had hoped the public at large would not notice the switch if the Melania doll simply wore sunglasses all the time and a puppeteer made her head nod at the right times during his speeches.
This, however, only worked for a while.
“I am very proud of my creation, whatever he does,” Mister Geppetto beamed, “To think he has risen to be President of the United States of America? Some benefactor from overseas called Putin or Mangiafuoco has been helping him, I hear the people say, but Don Pinocchio has always been a cunning boy. It’s very nice to know he has such big toys to play with now!”
Sadly, it seems that Mister Geppetto is not entirely at ease.
“Sometimes I regret making him new feet after he had me thrown into prison merely because I disputed a clause in the lease agreement after he maybe swindled me out of my workshop, but it was very kind of him to rent the place back to me.”
It seems the toymaker’s work is not yet done though.
“I’ve heard Master Cherry is out looking for new talking pine logs.” said Geppetto, gleefully. “Apparently Pinocchio intends to replace his entire cabinet with talking blocks of wood.
“I don’t really see how anyone will notice the difference?”