Rover Thomson, a five year old chocolate labrador from Newlyn, has awarded a Michelin star to the cat litter tray located in his family home.
The surprising award was explained by Rover as just desserts based on the quality of the meals to be found in the tray at all hours of the day and night.
“They are quality dishes, like little sausages, and the range of flavour is impressive,” Rover told the Herald’s fine dining correspondent, “Some days they are tuna, some days chicken, and if the cat has been at the catnip, hold onto your hat!”
Other features that built the case for the Michelin star concern a consistent supply and the bewildered pleasure Rover witnesses in his owner when she checks the tray only to discover the litter doesn’t really need changing.
“I see it as another example of how I do my bit for my family. No one ever looks thrilled when they have to empty the tray. Well now, they rarely have to do it. And it really freshens up your breath.
“It is also a very useful way to keep track of any differences in the cat’s diet compared to my own, so I know if I’m missing out on anything and need to spend more time lying in the middle of the kitchen floor with my eyebrows raised looking mournful and hungry. I can’t wait to chew up the Michelin guide with the litter tray entry in it when it drops through the letter slot.”
We did approach Rover’s owners for comment on the prestigious dining award, but they were too busy to comment directly.
“The cat is going to the toilet somewhere in the house. It’s not using the tray even though the weather is bad,” Rover’s mum muttered, “But I’ll be buggered if I can find where it’s doing it. It’s not in the litter tray. This is a nightmare. There must be a mountain of it somewhere.”