Heavily armed pro-life nitwits across America have taken to the streets in protest in being told to stay at home to save lives.

The crowds of mostly illiterate uninsured male Trump supporters have been taking to the streets in protest at being told what to do with their bodies.

“It’s unconstitutional to tell me what I can and can’t do with my own body.” An obese sweaty white bloke with a machine gun and a Make America Great Again hat told us between hacking coughs.

“If I want to get together with a huge crowd of patriots to protest abortion during a deadly global pandemic then I should be allowed to.  You can’t make me sit at home watching Fox News when there’s embryos what need saving.”

“I should be free to tell women what they can or cannot do with their bodies. It’s in the bible.”

Doctors in America are predicting that 90% of dimwits will catch Coronavirus and still vote for Donald Trump.


Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.