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Paul Tutherwun

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Man who treated voters as morons during Brexit confirms voters are still morons after...

Potato face Michael Gove has claimed that voters could have some impact on the Brexit deal if they so wished.Gove, who famously involved...

Abu Hamza to be welcomed back to the UK with State Visit

Hate preacher Abu Hamza has been invited to a State Visit after Number 10 revealed that they are widening the scope of the unsavoury...

Gove clarifies that Government will extend the term non-sentient to include any living being...

In a desperate bid to look like the Tories are not using Brexit as an excuse to bring back fox hunting, cock fighting, prima...

Celebrities are over-rewarded claims famous, multi-millionaire, award winning star and author on accepting his...

David Walliams has, in a stunning show of hypocrisy and with no hint of irony, claimed that celebrities are over-rewarded as he accepted an...
Rees Mogg

Jocob Rees-Mogg insists women have absolute rights over bodies, except if they receive gift...

The fall-out from the Weinstein allegations of rape, sexual abuse and unwanted sexual advances continues to widen and include those in political life.Whilst the...

UK obesity epidemic to be tackled by driving the Coca-Cola truck through towns and...

Coca Cola have announced that the driver of their self-proclaimed ‘traditional’ Christmas Truck has been instructed to keep moving through the UK towns and...
Jumbel Sale

Online tat markets filling up with utter crap that ‘Would make a great Christmas...

As the nights draw in and the last of the pre-winter rituals of ‘Children Demanding Sweets by Menaces’ night, ‘Throwing Fireworks at Cats’ night...

Newcastle United fans looking forward to renewed access to match pies and beer

The Toon Army are rejoicing following the news that Sports Direct Entrepreneur Sweat Shop owner, Mike Ashley, is to sell the Magpies.Realising that he...
Boris Johnson

Boris urges Tories to get behind May as it makes it easier to stab...

Boris Johnson has today reprimanded Conservative Party Members for attempting to organise a coup and not asking him to join in. In his message,...

Musicians speak at upset of knowing that Tories like their work

Distraught musicians Florence Welch and Calvin Harris have spoken out at their horror of discovering that they have next to no control over what...
Turn it off and on

Team behind the May-Bot to try turning it off and back on again

The Project May-Bot team have announced that due to recent poor performance and unexpected features being noted, they are looking into resetting the May-Bot...

Torquay becomes UK Hate Capital overnight

A new survey of social attitudes out earlier today has revealed that Torquay has turned into the Hate Capital of the UK overnight after...
Corbyn Shape The Future

Labour leader confirms that he has a plan to break the country as well...

Jeremy Corbyn has closed this year’s Labour conference with a rousing speech to his Corbynista fans explaining his plans for an entirely fictitious and...
Trump:May

Special relationship means you ask me for stuff and I tell you to get...

Trump has confirmed that the status of ‘Special Relationship’ means that he basically ignores any request that Prime Minister May might ask of him...

Theresa May unable to un-grit her teeth after assuring Boris that he can keep...

Number 10 have confirmed today that Theresa May’s teeth are well and truly gritted and not coming unstuck anytime soon.Whilst seen as a potential...

Doubling homelessness through reduced spending on welfare is excellent value claim Tories

As the National Audit Office revealed that homelessness of all kinds has doubled over the past 6 years, a Tory spokesman has confirmed that...

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