NRA and Gideons to issue guns in bibles


In response to the recent awful church shooting, the question has to be, why can’t everyone have guns?

If everyone was armed this wouldn’t have happened. We need guns in our pockets. We need guns falling out of our pockets. We need pockets specially designed to hold all the guns. We need an open carry, fantasy western, no holds barred, quick draw gun-topia.

If a massacre in a church tells us anything it tells us God wants you to have firearms in order to defend your chosen place of holy worship.

Well now all our prayers have been answered!

In response to this sign from our Lord Jesus Christ, the NRA and Gideon’s bibles have come together to bring you this special limited edition “Gun In A Bible” (c).

Never again will your prayers be disturbed by a lone psycho with a persecution complex having a hissy fit in a chapel. Hallelujah and praise the infinite wisdom of the Lord our creator! Amen!

Next time an egomaniac armed with a a bad attitude and an assault rifle bursts in on your congregation you can reply with our custom made Disciple bullets (thrown in for free!). Each of the 12 bullets is lovingly inscribed with a Bible quote. This is truly His divine justice dispensed from the barrel of your 2nd amendment protected, righteous, Christian gun.

Order now before stocks of our divine retribution books run out! Singing Onward Christian Soldiers never felt so good or so gosh darn right!

Can I get a “Hell yeah!”?