Pope declares all good atheists can go to heaven
In a surprise ecumenical encyclical from the Vatican, Pope Francis has indicated that atheists could be allowed to pass through the Pearly Gates and...
Jesus admits to slamming doors of heaven on Jehovah’s Witnesses
There was consternation today as Jesus revealed to The Rochdale Herald that he slams the doors of heaven in the faces of Jehovah's Witnesses.
Jesus...
Christmas ad not Christian enough say non church going Christians
The new Christmas advert from Tesco has caused outrage for its lack of overt Christianity, mainly from people who will go nowhere near a...
Mary forced to give birth on stable floor after health insurance refuses to cover...
A woman that claims she's about to give birth to the son of God has told the Herald, about how she is being forced...
‘Corporal punishment should be reinstated’ – people against Sharia law
A recent survey of lobotomised knuckle dragging fuck nuggets revealed that they are fighting against the values that they themselves hold most dear.
We caught...
Man looking for God admits he would be easier to find if he knew...
A Rochdale man has today admitted that it would have been much easier to find God had he known what God looks like.
Garry Bennett began...
Church of England still utterly irrelevant clergy decide
After a long and protracted three year conversation with one another, Anglican clerics in silly fancy dress have said marriage should only be between...
Paul Nuttall resigns as Archbishop of Canterbury
In a shock move Thursday Paul Nuttall, Member of the European Parliament for North West England EP and leader of the United Kingdom Independence...
Vicar attacked for dropping Easter from Easter Sunday
A 45 year-old Rochdale man is recovering in hospital today after being attacked for not referring to this coming Sunday as ‘Easter Sunday’.
The victim,...
NRA and Gideons to issue guns in bibles
In response to the recent awful church shooting, the question has to be, why can’t everyone have guns?
If everyone was armed this wouldn’t...
God brings Christopher Hitchens back from the dead for ‘shits and giggles’
Deceased intellectual and prominent atheist resurrected by The Almighty 'for a bit of a laugh' following hiatus.
Following what close acquaintances have described as 'a...
Priests to Discover What Celibacy Really Means – Say Experts
Following the historic announcement by Pope Francis that Priests are to be allowed to marry, experts are saying that Catholic Priests are, for the...
God bothering Stephen Fry to be stoned to death for blasphemy, the pure gobshite
Stephen Fry has been summoned to appear in the Irish Courts to face the charge of breaching the Irish Defamation Act.
It comes after the...
PETA free thousands of battery farmed Jesuses forced into tiny cages for their chocolate...
Religious rights activists have launched coordinated raids around the world this morning and have successfully freed tens of thousands of battery farmed Jesuses from...
Satirist attempts to write Muhammad joke in bid to appease angry ‘Christians’
A writer for the internet's biggest Rochdale-based satire site, The Rochdale Herald, has spent the past 15 minutes trying to conjure up some sort...
Not enough young gay men commit suicide say arseholes in Anglican Synod
The utterly irrelevant small minded patronising pricks, bitches and utter arseholes in the Anglican Synod have said that not enough vulnerable young men kill themselves every year.
