PETA free thousands of battery farmed Jesuses forced into tiny cages for their chocolate...

0
Religious rights activists have launched coordinated raids around the world this morning and have successfully freed tens of thousands of battery farmed Jesuses from cages in barns. The Jesuses who are farmed for the chocolate...

Islam a lifestyle choice, says man who chose rabidly Islamophobic lifestyle

0
In a desperate attempt to justify religious persecution, a foaming bigot from Croydon has declared that Islam is a lifestyle choice and therefore fair game for criticism... and by criticism he means accusing all...

Jesus to have birthday party in August

0
Jesus Christ has gone on the record to say that he is absolutely sick and tired of relatives and friends buying him joint birthday and Christmas presents.

Priests to Discover What Celibacy Really Means – Say Experts

0
Following the historic announcement by Pope Francis that Priests are to be allowed to marry, experts are saying that Catholic Priests are, for the first time, to discover what Celibacy actually is. And according...
Katy Hopkins dressed as Virgin Mary

Pope to beatify Katie Hopkins after death of her reputation…

0
The Pope has announced that Katie Hopkins will be made a saint shortly, after her reputation sadly died last week. Hopkins's reputation went into an irreversible decline following her defeat in a libel action bought...

Jacob Rees-Mogg is a twat, confirms Jesus

39
In a rare public outburst Jesus H Christ has taken to social media to call Jacob Rees-Mogg a "complete twat." Speaking from his spaceship's jacuzzi moored off the coast of Cloud Cuckoo Land Jesus H...

Church of England still utterly irrelevant clergy decide

0
After a long and protracted three year conversation with one another, Anglican clerics in silly fancy dress have said marriage should only be between a man and a woman.  This groundbreaking decision means they are...
Amazon Tribe

Jeremy Hunt worshipped as God of pestilence and disease by Amazonian Tribe

0
An offshoot of the Kawahiva people of the Amazon, only recently discovered, are revealed to be remarkably aware of Jeremy Hunt, the health secretary. "Our culture reveres the position of shaman - a wise man...

Corbyn washes feet of the poor in Belgravia

18
Our saviour, JC, for it was he, seen on the streets of Belgravia. Blessed are the poor, the meek, and the lowly. For lo, their time has come. The many shall inherit the Kingdom United,...

Vicar attacked for dropping Easter from Easter Sunday

0
A 45 year-old Rochdale man is recovering in hospital today after being attacked for not referring to this coming Sunday as ‘Easter Sunday’. The victim, Rev. Roger Simpkins, was greeting a member of his congregation...

Experts agree that Josh Widdicombe is not bigger than Jesus

0
Theologists now agree that diminutive Josh Widdicombe is not the Second Coming of Our Lord Jesus Christ. Speculation had run rife that, having been born of a well-known virgin, pint-sized Josh was almost certainly the...
Angry Man Christmas

Rochdale man disappointed he hasn’t been arrested for wishing people Merry Christmas

0
A Rochdale man has been telling us that he is furious that he hasn't yet been arrested for wishing people a Merry Christmas. Bill Board, who has been to church twice in 30 years told...
Ainsley Harriott

Ainsley Harriott kicked out of satanic death cult for using too much turmeric

0
Speaking privately to The Rochdale Herald’s Donna Bellievitti, Satanic cultist and alleged writer Lynda la Plante discussed his expulsion from the group. "Look it's simple innit, evwywon nose dat U use Susie Salt to draw...
God

Man looking for God admits he would be easier to find if he knew...

0
A Rochdale man has today admitted that it would have been much easier to find God had he known what God looks like. Garry Bennett began his search 10 years ago after meeting a successful entrepreneur at...

Trump to brave Muslim controlled no go area during UK Visit

0
Despite the advice of Fox News commentator, Steven Emerson, advisors to Donald Trump have said that there is a strong possibility that the so-called President's main rally on his upcoming visit to the UK...

Not enough young gay men commit suicide say arseholes in Anglican Synod

0
The utterly irrelevant small minded patronising pricks, bitches and utter arseholes in the Anglican Synod have said that not enough vulnerable young men kill themselves every year.

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts