Outrage as ban on Christmas turns out to be false

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People across the country have expressed outrage in response to the revelation that a ban on Christmas has been revealed to be false. An image...
Call Centre

Catholic Church installs automated ‘Buggery Forgiveness Hotline’ to ease waiting times

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The hard-pushed Catholic Church has created call-centre style automated phone lines to reduce congestion caused by confessing their most popular sin. "Local priests across the...

Trump to brave Muslim controlled no go area during UK Visit

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Despite the advice of Fox News commentator, Steven Emerson, advisors to Donald Trump have said that there is a strong possibility that the so-called...
Parents

Man in a frock told us boys shouldn’t wear dresses, say parents suing school...

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The parents of a child who saw another boy in a dress at school are suing the school because a man in a frock...

Proof of God spotted in East Midlands

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Huddersfield photographer Golcar Matt snapped a cloud in the shape of Great Britain, and meteorologists are debating its religious significance. “It is a clear sign...

Catholic Church accuses Asian paedophile gang of cultural appropriation

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The Roman Catholic Church has accused a convicted Asian paedophile gang of cultural appropriation. Vatican spokesman, Riccardo Ricci said, "This is disgusting. We were doing...

Jesus to have birthday party in August

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Jesus Christ has gone on the record to say that he is absolutely sick and tired of relatives and friends buying him joint birthday and Christmas presents.

Relief for western buddhists as 5th noble truth says “Get on it!”

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The world of Buddhism was flipped upside down today as a new addition to the original 4 noble truths was discovered in a monastery...

Awkward moment for Prince Andrew at nativity as virgin told she will have a...

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There were awkward scenes for Prince Andrew today at a nativity in Sandringham when a virgin was told she will  have a baby. The Prince...

Christmas ad not Christian enough say non church going Christians

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The new Christmas advert from Tesco has caused outrage for its lack of overt Christianity, mainly from people who will go nowhere near a...

God brings Christopher Hitchens back from the dead for ‘shits and giggles’

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Deceased intellectual and prominent atheist resurrected by The Almighty 'for a bit of a laugh' following hiatus. Following what close acquaintances have described as 'a...

Jesus admits to slamming doors of heaven on Jehovah’s Witnesses

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There was consternation today as Jesus revealed to The Rochdale Herald that he slams the doors of heaven in the faces of Jehovah's Witnesses. Jesus...

Church of England still utterly irrelevant clergy decide

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After a long and protracted three year conversation with one another, Anglican clerics in silly fancy dress have said marriage should only be between...
Black Jesus

Black Jesus denies rumours he is bowling hurricanes at Mar a lago

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Speaking from his home near Cape Verde, Black Jesus denied that his decision to spend time exploring his roots in West Africa has had...

NRA and Gideons to issue guns in bibles

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In response to the recent awful church shooting, the question has to be, why can’t everyone have guns? If everyone was armed this wouldn’t...
Mike Pence

US replaces health insurance with crossed fingers, hoping and prayer

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There has been a wave of concern regarding universal access to healthcare across the United States after Donald Trump, Mike Pence and the GOP officially repealed Obamacare...

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