PETA free thousands of battery farmed Jesuses forced into tiny cages for their chocolate...

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Religious rights activists have launched coordinated raids around the world this morning and have successfully freed tens of thousands of battery farmed Jesuses from...

Satirist attempts to write Muhammad joke in bid to appease angry ‘Christians’

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A writer for the internet's biggest Rochdale-based satire site, The Rochdale Herald, has spent the past 15 minutes trying to conjure up some sort...

If one more person says Merry Birthday to me I’m going to lose my...

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Everyone knows someone with a birthday around Christmas day. Those whose birthday falls on the big day itself are the worst off but spare...
Jesus Good Friday

Good Friday wasn’t one of my best Fridays admits Jesus

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Jesus H Christ has taken to social media in support of Tesco saying that, despite claims by religious extremists Good Friday was actually a...

NRA and Gideons to issue guns in bibles

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In response to the recent awful church shooting, the question has to be, why can’t everyone have guns? If everyone was armed this wouldn’t...

Experts agree that Josh Widdicombe is not bigger than Jesus

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Theologists now agree that diminutive Josh Widdicombe is not the Second Coming of Our Lord Jesus Christ. Speculation had run rife that, having been born...
Shouty man

‘Corporal punishment should be reinstated’ – people against Sharia law

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A recent survey of lobotomised knuckle dragging fuck nuggets revealed that they are fighting against the values that they themselves hold most dear. We caught...
Call Centre

Catholic Church installs automated ‘Buggery Forgiveness Hotline’ to ease waiting times

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The hard-pushed Catholic Church has created call-centre style automated phone lines to reduce congestion caused by confessing their most popular sin. "Local priests across the...

Jacob Rees-Mogg is a twat, confirms Jesus

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In a rare public outburst Jesus H Christ has taken to social media to call Jacob Rees-Mogg a "complete twat." Speaking from his spaceship's jacuzzi...
Bleeding figure of Christ

PC BBC bans ‘graphically violent’ crucifixion depictions for Easter

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In a controversial move, the BBC has announced it will be 'normalising' it's guidelines for showing scenes of violence, by banning all images of...

Church of England still utterly irrelevant clergy decide

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After a long and protracted three year conversation with one another, Anglican clerics in silly fancy dress have said marriage should only be between...
Parents

Man in a frock told us boys shouldn’t wear dresses, say parents suing school...

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The parents of a child who saw another boy in a dress at school are suing the school because a man in a frock...

Paul Nuttall resigns as Archbishop of Canterbury

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In a shock move Thursday Paul Nuttall, Member of the European Parliament for North West England EP and leader of the United Kingdom Independence...

Miraculous Jesus face found on Twinkie atop words “sort your fucking gun laws out”

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A Mr Billy-Bob Jnr III of Kentucky has made the US news with his Jackpot discovery in an all American snack pack. After a...
Shouting Man

Shouty, hypocritical know it all becomes leader of First Atheist church

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A loud mouth atheist has taken his levels of preaching about all organized religion being evil to such lengths that he has organized a...
Angry Man Christmas

Rochdale man disappointed he hasn’t been arrested for wishing people Merry Christmas

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A Rochdale man has been telling us that he is furious that he hasn't yet been arrested for wishing people a Merry Christmas. Bill Board,...

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