If one more person says Merry Birthday to me I’m going to lose my...

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Everyone knows someone with a birthday around Christmas day. Those whose birthday falls on the big day itself are the worst off but spare...

Proof of God spotted in East Midlands

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Huddersfield photographer Golcar Matt snapped a cloud in the shape of Great Britain, and meteorologists are debating its religious significance. “It is a clear sign...

Mary forced to give birth on stable floor after health insurance refuses to cover...

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A woman that claims she's about to give birth to the son of God has told the Herald, about how she is being forced...

PETA free thousands of battery farmed Jesuses forced into tiny cages for their chocolate...

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Religious rights activists have launched coordinated raids around the world this morning and have successfully freed tens of thousands of battery farmed Jesuses from...

Not enough young gay men commit suicide say arseholes in Anglican Synod

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The utterly irrelevant small minded patronising pricks, bitches and utter arseholes in the Anglican Synod have said that not enough vulnerable young men kill themselves every year.

Archbishop Suspended By Labour Over Historically Discredited Old Testament

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Labour have suspended Justin Welby, the Archbishop of Canterbury. In an enquiry it was claimed that the Archbishop, 53, had been reported to the Labour...

Catholic Church accuses Asian paedophile gang of cultural appropriation

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The Roman Catholic Church has accused a convicted Asian paedophile gang of cultural appropriation. Vatican spokesman, Riccardo Ricci said, "This is disgusting. We were doing...

Christmas ad not Christian enough say non church going Christians

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The new Christmas advert from Tesco has caused outrage for its lack of overt Christianity, mainly from people who will go nowhere near a...

Religion stupid confirms Jesus

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"Religion is very stupid and the way you practice it is frankly divisive," said Jesus. His good friend, Mohammad, agreed wholeheartedly, adding "seriously, some of...

Outrage in Rochdale over proposed Santa suit ban

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Rochdale religious groups are screaming red white and blue murder over a proposed ban on the traditional Santa suit. This follows the New Year outrage...

Local man begins annual quest to find Muslim offended by the word ‘Easter’

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Our intrepid reporter Charlie Stuart spends the day with a patriot on a mission.

I’m nothing like Pope antichrist tells DUP

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In an exclusive interview with The Rochdale Herald, the antichrist tells the DUP "I'm nothing like the Pope!" On a damp and surprisingly chilly June...
Angry Man Christmas

Rochdale man disappointed he hasn’t been arrested for wishing people Merry Christmas

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A Rochdale man has been telling us that he is furious that he hasn't yet been arrested for wishing people a Merry Christmas. Bill Board,...
Katy Hopkins dressed as Virgin Mary

Pope to beatify Katie Hopkins after death of her reputation…

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The Pope has announced that Katie Hopkins will be made a saint shortly, after her reputation sadly died last week. Hopkins's reputation went into an...
Shouty man

‘Corporal punishment should be reinstated’ – people against Sharia law

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A recent survey of lobotomised knuckle dragging fuck nuggets revealed that they are fighting against the values that they themselves hold most dear. We caught...

Parents of nativity play’s King Herod unsure what this says about their parenting

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A Rochdale teacher has been telling the Herald about how this year's school nativity has been dogged by endless controversy. The teacher, who asked not...

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