Corbyn washes feet of the poor in Belgravia

18
Our saviour, JC, for it was he, seen on the streets of Belgravia. Blessed are the poor, the meek, and the lowly. For lo, their time has come. The many shall inherit the Kingdom United,...

God bothering Stephen Fry to be stoned to death for blasphemy, the pure gobshite

0
Stephen Fry has been summoned to appear in the Irish Courts to face the charge of breaching the Irish Defamation Act. It comes after the Garda completed their investigation into alleged blasphemy during a 2015...
Amazon Tribe

Jeremy Hunt worshipped as God of pestilence and disease by Amazonian Tribe

0
An offshoot of the Kawahiva people of the Amazon, only recently discovered, are revealed to be remarkably aware of Jeremy Hunt, the health secretary. "Our culture reveres the position of shaman - a wise man...
Jesus Good Friday

Good Friday wasn’t one of my best Fridays admits Jesus

0
Jesus H Christ has taken to social media in support of Tesco saying that, despite claims by religious extremists Good Friday was actually a pretty crap Friday. "I don't know why people keep calling it...

Not enough young gay men commit suicide say arseholes in Anglican Synod

0
The utterly irrelevant small minded patronising pricks, bitches and utter arseholes in the Anglican Synod have said that not enough vulnerable young men kill themselves every year.

Dalai Lama fury over Louis Smith Buddha is a fat bastard comments

0
The Dalai Lama is said to be incandescently furious with Louis Smith after he was overheard calling Buddha a "fat fucker". Two time Olympic Pommel Horse runner up, Strictly Come Dancing winner and sore loser...

Outrage as ban on Christmas turns out to be false

0
People across the country have expressed outrage in response to the revelation that a ban on Christmas has been revealed to be false. An image of a newspaper article claiming that councils have banned Christmas...
Brian

Corbyn confirmed as ‘not Messiah, but a very naughty boy’

19
In a shock revelation today, it has been confirmed that the Labour leader and General Election candidate Jeremy Corbyn is not in fact the Messiah, but instead is 'a very naughty boy.' The announcement came...

Jesus to have birthday party in August

0
Jesus Christ has gone on the record to say that he is absolutely sick and tired of relatives and friends buying him joint birthday and Christmas presents.

Paul Nuttall Converted To Judaism

0
Reports are circulating that investigators digging into the unbelievable past of the UKIP Leader have unearthed a 2004 MySpace page entry in which Paul Nuttall announced his conversion to Judaism. It's not certain whether Paul was responsible...
Westboro Baptist Church

Westboro Baptist Churchgoers saddened by news that God actually hates FAQ’s

0
Congregation of famously homophobic church disheartened to learn that The Almighty is 'proper hacked off with being asked the same dumb shit over and over again'. Topeka, Kansas, and following God's stunning comeback on Sunday,...
Katy Hopkins dressed as Virgin Mary

Pope to beatify Katie Hopkins after death of her reputation…

0
The Pope has announced that Katie Hopkins will be made a saint shortly, after her reputation sadly died last week. Hopkins's reputation went into an irreversible decline following her defeat in a libel action bought...
Shouty man

‘Corporal punishment should be reinstated’ – people against Sharia law

4
A recent survey of lobotomised knuckle dragging fuck nuggets revealed that they are fighting against the values that they themselves hold most dear. We caught up with one of the  participants, Baz 'Smiff', a UKIP...

Jacob Rees-Mogg is a twat, confirms Jesus

39
In a rare public outburst Jesus H Christ has taken to social media to call Jacob Rees-Mogg a "complete twat." Speaking from his spaceship's jacuzzi moored off the coast of Cloud Cuckoo Land Jesus H...

Church of England still utterly irrelevant clergy decide

0
After a long and protracted three year conversation with one another, Anglican clerics in silly fancy dress have said marriage should only be between a man and a woman.  This groundbreaking decision means they are...

Bishop of Coventry confused over sexuality

0
The Right Reverend Christopher Cocksworth has admitted to sexual confusion, after screwing up a General Synod vote on gay marriage. "I didn't know which way to turn," squealed his High Vicarage. "Peter made his comment...

Follow us

61,780FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
23,685FollowersFollow

Popular Posts