Outrage in Rochdale over proposed Santa suit ban

0
Rochdale religious groups are screaming red white and blue murder over a proposed ban on the traditional Santa suit. This follows the New Year outrage...
Call Centre

Catholic Church installs automated ‘Buggery Forgiveness Hotline’ to ease waiting times

13
The hard-pushed Catholic Church has created call-centre style automated phone lines to reduce congestion caused by confessing their most popular sin. "Local priests across the...
Parents

Man in a frock told us boys shouldn’t wear dresses, say parents suing school...

7
The parents of a child who saw another boy in a dress at school are suing the school because a man in a frock...

Jesus demands separate birthday and Christmas presents

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Jesus Christ has gone on the record to say that he is absolutely sick and tired of relatives and friends buying him joint birthday and Christmas presents.
Jesus Christ

Jesus rejects will of the people

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Jesus of Nazareth rejects will of people and refuses to die On 23 June 33AD, the lawful Government represented by Pontius Pilate asked the people...

Relief for western buddhists as 5th noble truth says “Get on it!”

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The world of Buddhism was flipped upside down today as a new addition to the original 4 noble truths was discovered in a monastery...

NRA and Gideons to issue guns in bibles

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In response to the recent awful church shooting, the question has to be, why can’t everyone have guns? If everyone was armed this wouldn’t...

Experts agree that Josh Widdicombe is not bigger than Jesus

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Theologists now agree that diminutive Josh Widdicombe is not the Second Coming of Our Lord Jesus Christ. Speculation had run rife that, having been born...

Atheists pilgrimage to Dawkins’ home after Darwin appears on toast

1
Hundreds of atheists have laid siege to the home of renowned ethnologist and evolutionary biologist Richard Dawkins after he reported finding an image of...
Westboro Baptist Church

Westboro Baptist Churchgoers saddened by news that God actually hates FAQ’s

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Congregation of famously homophobic church disheartened to learn that The Almighty is 'proper hacked off with being asked the same dumb shit over and...
Shouty man

‘Corporal punishment should be reinstated’ – people against Sharia law

4
A recent survey of lobotomised knuckle dragging fuck nuggets revealed that they are fighting against the values that they themselves hold most dear. We caught...
God

Man looking for God admits he would be easier to find if he knew...

0
A Rochdale man has today admitted that it would have been much easier to find God had he known what God looks like. Garry Bennett began...

Church of England still utterly irrelevant clergy decide

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After a long and protracted three year conversation with one another, Anglican clerics in silly fancy dress have said marriage should only be between...
Black Jesus

Black Jesus denies rumours he is bowling hurricanes at Mar a lago

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Speaking from his home near Cape Verde, Black Jesus denied that his decision to spend time exploring his roots in West Africa has had...

Corbyn washes feet of the poor in Belgravia

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Our saviour, JC, for it was he, seen on the streets of Belgravia. Blessed are the poor, the meek, and the lowly. For lo, their...

Religion stupid confirms Jesus

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"Religion is very stupid and the way you practice it is frankly divisive," said Jesus. His good friend, Mohammad, agreed wholeheartedly, adding "seriously, some of...

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