Jesus admits to slamming doors of heaven on Jehovah’s Witnesses
There was consternation today as Jesus revealed to The Rochdale Herald that he slams the doors of heaven in the faces of Jehovah's Witnesses.
Jesus...
Black Jesus denies rumours he is bowling hurricanes at Mar a lago
Speaking from his home near Cape Verde, Black Jesus denied that his decision to spend time exploring his roots in West Africa has had...
Jeremy Corbyn branded anti-Semitic after celebrating crucifixion of Jewish man
Jeremy Corbyn has been forced to deny further allegations of anti-Semitism after being spotted celebrating the crucifixion of a Jewish man.
The Jewish man in...
Jeremy Hunt worshipped as God of pestilence and disease by Amazonian Tribe
An offshoot of the Kawahiva people of the Amazon, only recently discovered, are revealed to be remarkably aware of Jeremy Hunt, the health secretary.
"Our...
NRA and Gideons to issue guns in bibles
In response to the recent awful church shooting, the question has to be, why can’t everyone have guns?
If everyone was armed this wouldn’t...
Atheists pilgrimage to Dawkins’ home after Darwin appears on toast
Hundreds of atheists have laid siege to the home of renowned ethnologist and evolutionary biologist Richard Dawkins after he reported finding an image of...
Mary forced to give birth on stable floor after health insurance refuses to cover...
A woman that claims she's about to give birth to the son of God has told the Herald, about how she is being forced...
Man in a frock told us boys shouldn’t wear dresses, say parents suing school...
The parents of a child who saw another boy in a dress at school are suing the school because a man in a frock...
Awkward moment for Prince Andrew at nativity as virgin told she will have a...
There were awkward scenes for Prince Andrew today at a nativity in Sandringham when a virgin was told she will have a baby.
The Prince...
Catholic Church installs automated ‘Buggery Forgiveness Hotline’ to ease waiting times
The hard-pushed Catholic Church has created call-centre style automated phone lines to reduce congestion caused by confessing their most popular sin.
"Local priests across the...
Trump to brave Muslim controlled no go area during UK Visit
Despite the advice of Fox News commentator, Steven Emerson, advisors to Donald Trump have said that there is a strong possibility that the so-called...
PETA free thousands of battery farmed Jesuses forced into tiny cages for their chocolate...
Religious rights activists have launched coordinated raids around the world this morning and have successfully freed tens of thousands of battery farmed Jesuses from...
Church of England still utterly irrelevant clergy decide
After a long and protracted three year conversation with one another, Anglican clerics in silly fancy dress have said marriage should only be between...
Archbishop Suspended By Labour Over Historically Discredited Old Testament
Labour have suspended Justin Welby, the Archbishop of Canterbury.
In an enquiry it was claimed that the Archbishop, 53, had been reported to the Labour...
If one more person says Merry Birthday to me I’m going to lose my...
Everyone knows someone with a birthday around Christmas day. Those whose birthday falls on the big day itself are the worst off but spare...
Jesus demands separate birthday and Christmas presents
Jesus Christ has gone on the record to say that he is absolutely sick and tired of relatives and friends buying him joint birthday and Christmas presents.
