Jesus admits to slamming doors of heaven on Jehovah’s Witnesses

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There was consternation today as Jesus revealed to The Rochdale Herald that he slams the doors of heaven in the faces of Jehovah's Witnesses. Jesus...

Church of England still utterly irrelevant clergy decide

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After a long and protracted three year conversation with one another, Anglican clerics in silly fancy dress have said marriage should only be between...

Paul Nuttall resigns as Archbishop of Canterbury

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In a shock move Thursday Paul Nuttall, Member of the European Parliament for North West England EP and leader of the United Kingdom Independence...

Jesus demands separate birthday and Christmas presents

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Jesus Christ has gone on the record to say that he is absolutely sick and tired of relatives and friends buying him joint birthday and Christmas presents.
Jesus Good Friday

Good Friday wasn’t one of my best Fridays admits Jesus

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Jesus H Christ has taken to social media in support of Tesco saying that, despite claims by religious extremists Good Friday was actually a...

Corbyn washes feet of the poor in Belgravia

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Our saviour, JC, for it was he, seen on the streets of Belgravia. Blessed are the poor, the meek, and the lowly. For lo, their...

Vicar attacked for dropping Easter from Easter Sunday

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A 45 year-old Rochdale man is recovering in hospital today after being attacked for not referring to this coming Sunday as ‘Easter Sunday’. The victim,...
Shouting Man

Shouty, hypocritical know it all becomes leader of First Atheist church

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A loud mouth atheist has taken his levels of preaching about all organized religion being evil to such lengths that he has organized a...

That God person is a pervert say parents of transgender kids

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A primary school has become the center of a row when it taught religion to transgender pupils. St Andgreavsey's primary school faced a...

Mary forced to give birth on stable floor after health insurance refuses to cover...

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A woman that claims she's about to give birth to the son of God has told the Herald, about how she is being forced...
The Pope

Pope declares all good atheists can go to heaven

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In a surprise ecumenical encyclical from the Vatican, Pope Francis has indicated that atheists could be allowed to pass through the Pearly Gates and...

Parents of nativity play’s King Herod unsure what this says about their parenting

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A Rochdale teacher has been telling the Herald about how this year's school nativity has been dogged by endless controversy. The teacher, who asked not...
God

Man looking for God admits he would be easier to find if he knew...

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A Rochdale man has today admitted that it would have been much easier to find God had he known what God looks like. Garry Bennett began...

Islam a lifestyle choice, says man who chose rabidly Islamophobic lifestyle

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In a desperate attempt to justify religious persecution, a foaming bigot from Croydon has declared that Islam is a lifestyle choice and therefore fair...

Archbishop Suspended By Labour Over Historically Discredited Old Testament

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Labour have suspended Justin Welby, the Archbishop of Canterbury. In an enquiry it was claimed that the Archbishop, 53, had been reported to the Labour...

If one more person says Merry Birthday to me I’m going to lose my...

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Everyone knows someone with a birthday around Christmas day. Those whose birthday falls on the big day itself are the worst off but spare...

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