Speaking from his home near Cape Verde, Black Jesus denied that his decision to spend time exploring his roots in West Africa has had anything to do with the recent uptick in hurricane prevalence.
“Sure, when I was living in Compton, there were plenty of people who weren’t all that convinced that I was Jesus, as why would Jesus be kicking back in the hood having a smoke with his homies? I tried explaining that if you have the choice to be anywhere, why wouldn’t you be with your peoples? And, as sure as Jesus tries to save, I put Obama in.”
“So anyway it was all going cool so I thought I’d spend some time in West Africa, as I find Cape Verde is really much closer to how things were in Jerusalem back in the day, full of black folks. All that evolution and shit, well it’s made folk that live under that wet ass European weather much whiter than they were back in the day when black dudes ran the Roman Empire. I get it, it’s so as they can get all that Vitamin D and shit. Each to their own. Obviously, I don’t discriminate, being Jesus, and I will still give a white girl the D if she asks me nice.”
“So no sooner do I leave the US than it’s time for Obama to step down and well shit, if they don’t pick the two ropiest ass fools to run off against each other that I’ve seen for some time. And that Trump, sheee-it, he’s just asking for it. But naw, I’m not to blame, the fact that hurricanes are coming over from here aimed directly at his stupid Mammon temple of a resort, well why would you think that was me flying through the clouds and hooching up all that wind?”
Keen Trump fan and coincidental racist Dave Spester was unconvinced, saying
“Dammit, I told you we should be shooting at the hurricanes.”