Macron wants UK to give him head in return for Bayeux tapestry

Monarchists were today outraged by the suggestion by Emmanuel Macron, President of France, that the severed heads of the British royal family would be an appropriate gift in exchange for the loan of the...

Trump and Steve Bannon to wrestle naked for alt-right leadership

It has emerged that President Donald Trump and Breitbart Chief Steve Bannon have apparently arranged to wrestle naked on the White House South Lawn for the leadership of the alt-right movement.According to a...
Trump Idiotic

Book criticising Trump to be boycotted by people who have never bought a book.

There is growing support among Republican voters for a nationwide boycott of the book 'Fire and Fury' which contains several damaging claims about President Trump.It is estimated that millions of Republicans, representing approximately 0.01%...
UFO

Aliens land on earth, demand under no circumstances to be taken to our leaders

It has been confirmed that aliens have landed on earth over the festive period. Their large red craft, powered by nine outlying vaguely reindeer-shaped thrust modules landed outside Slaithwaite on Christmas Day.The leader of...

Barack Obama to narrate audible version of Fire and Fury

Barack Obama is to narrate the audible version of US best-selling book, Fire and Fury: Inside the Trump White House. It's alleged that Mr Obama beat off stiff competition from Bill Clinton to land...
Dinosaur Meteor

Dinosaurs deny existence of meteorite impact assessment

The dinosaurs today issued a statement in response to the challenge that they release their assessment on what would happen if the planet was struck by a meteor.A committee of long extinct Brontosaurus, had...
Donald Genius Trump

The ‘J’ is for Genius, confirms Donald J Trump

Washington - The actual real life President of the United States of America Donald J Trump has cleared up speculation over the weekend about what his middle name is.The leader of the free world...
Ivanka Trump

Donald Trump’s penis not bigger than Kim Jong Un’s, confirms Ivanka Trump

Sources close to the President have confirmed that Donald Trump's willy is not bigger than Kim Jong Un's.It is being reported around the world in the mainstream media that top White House aide Ivanka...
Donald Trump Jr

Fire at Trump Tower definitely not Donald Trump Jr burning Russia dossier, confirms Donald...

New York - There has been more fire and fury today as a blaze at the top of Trump Tower in New York left two people injured.Questions have already been raised by commentators as...
Punggye-ri

North Korea piccalilli factory in full production – SHOCKING satellite images show

CHILLING satellite photographs show North Korean chemical factories are manufacturing weapons grade piccalilli in horrifying quantities.Grainy images at first sight lead viewers to think that the Punggye-ri Nuclear Facility is being used to manufacture...
Francis Underwood

Fictional President held to higher standard than actual President

Fictional President of the United States Francis Underwood has been obliged to step down this week following allegations of historical sexual harassment.Whilst his Presidency has been marred by a number of controversies, FPOTUS Underwood...

US Military confirm nuclear weapons controlled by simple massive orange knob

Washington - The American military revealed one of its most closely guarded secrets this week.
Roy Moore

Roy Moore ordered to pay if he wants another go after coming in a...

The Alabama Secretary of State has told Judge Roy Moore that he will have to finance any recount of the Senate seat vote.John Merrill said that this was the only way any recount would...
Woman in curlers

Rochdale Prostitutes Challenge Putin’s Claim ‘Russians are Best’

Deidre McDearie, voted Rochdale's leading lady of the night eight years' running, has challenged President Putin over his claims that Russia's call girls are the best in the world."I dunno what criteria they're using,...
Trump Air Force one

Donald Trump arrives in Germany and says ‘Ich bin ein Binliner’ Berlin agrees

President Donald Trump landed in Germany Sunday morning to kick off the first leg of his 12-day trip to Europe.Trump held a surprise press conference with reporters after landing in Berlin and delivered his...
Trump Child

Department of Justice confirms that if indicted Trump will be tried as an adult

The Department of Justice has confirmed that if and when Donald Trump is indicted for colluding with Russia during the 2016 Presidential election he will have to stand trial as an adult.The U.S. Department...

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