Trump calls for ban on food festivals after latest mass shooting
Trump calls for ban on food festivals after latest mass shootingSo-called 'President' and full-time Twitter troll Donald Trump wants a 'total and complete shutdown'...
?Kim Jong Un invents universal cure
The secretive state of North Korea has managed to cure most illnesses from the common cold to cancer, it has been revealed.
Ishit Yu Not,...
Burning American flag saved after hero puts out fire using black man
A flag of the United States of America was saved from burning today after a brave patriot quelled the flames using an African American...
New Technology Foils Illegal Immigrants
In conjunction with the British Government-funded wall in Calais, British officials are working with maritime consultants on methods to physically prevent illegal immigrants from...
Fictional President held to higher standard than actual President
Fictional President of the United States Francis Underwood has been obliged to step down this week following allegations of historical sexual harassment.
Whilst his Presidency...
Trump adds Germany to Travel Ban after hostages taken at Nakatomi Tower
Donald Trump has added the populations of Germany and Austria to his controversial travel ban after hearing reports that terrorists have taken hostages at the Nakatomi Tower in Los Angeles, again.
Lord Lucan, Pol Pot, Martin Borman ,Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi and Boko Haram emerge from...
An entire top shelf of global mass murderers have signalled they plan to emerge from hiding following the announcement by US president Donald trump...
Emergency services called after Bob Geldof disappears up his own arse
Two fire engines along with police and ambulance crews were called to the centre of Dublin after reports came in that a man had...
Department of Justice confirms that Trump will be tried as an adult
The Department of Justice has confirmed that if and when Donald Trump is indicted for colluding with Russia during the 2016 Presidential election he...
First shipment of thoughts and prayers for mass shooting victims arrive in California
It's all better in California now after a much needed vital shipment of thoughts and prayers arrived in Gilroy following today's mass shooting.
"Yeah, we're...
Gassing orphans is wrong says woman who prefers to starve them
Theresa May's regime has roundly condemned the Assad Regime's actions in Syria by saying it was wrong to use Sarin Gas on orphaned children.
"It...
US achieves 100% employment after Twitter forced to fact check Trump tweets
Donald Trump has achieved the biggest turnaround in US unemployment figures ever after Twitter was forced to recruit fact checkers to fact check his...
White House cleaners resign over ‘I’m a stable genius’ written in sh*t on Oval...
Washington - Reports are coming in today that the White House domestic staff who are responsible for cleaning the Oval Office have resigned over...
Vladimir Putin wins Great Russian Bake-off after other contestants fall ill
Vladimir Putin has won the Russian version of Celebrity Great British Bake-off after all the other contestants sadly died in tragic but mysterious circumstances.
Mr...
Idiot dies in Karmic Avalanche
An idiot died in an avalanche of Karma in the town of Teruel in Aragon, Spain, yesterday.
Victor Barrio (29), having spent the last 9...
Saudi woman celebrates being able to drive to friends stoning
A Saudi woman has been telling the Rochdale Herald how she's looking forward to being allowed to drive to the stoning of a woman...
