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What’s Johnny Foreigner up to?

Robert E Lee statue replaced by bronze of obese man on mobility scooter holding...

“How would you stage a cavalry charge with a bunch of trucks?” Prof A Lither of Charlottesville wanted to know. “You’d have whiny little left wing cuckold snowflake hippy vegetarians complaining about the damage to the grass before you so much as made it across the field and into the unarmed ranks of the alt-left fanatics.

Donald Trump appoints Doogie Howser M.D. Coronavirus Czar

POTAUS Donald Trump has announced the creation of a Coronavirus Czar charged with coordinating the US's response to Coronavirus. He revealed that Doogie Howser M.D. has been appointed. In a 5 hour rambling announcement POTATUS...

Rothschilds ‘surprised’ at Trump victory but pleased in investment in US wall building company

The Rothschild family are set for a huge windfall following Donald Trump's 'surprise' success in the US election.

UKIP corruption proves EU corruption say UKIP

Documents leaked to Sky News showing that, should results be confirmed, UKIP have been misappropriating EU cash prove that the EU is dodgy, claimed Alf Hilter, president of Rochdale and Greater Manchester UKIP Appreciation...

Trump rushed to John Hopkins with severe burns

Donald Trump is said to be in a stable but critical condition this morning after being rushed to hospital suffering from self inflicted third degree burns to almost half of his body. Fact checking website...

Bill Clinton Finally “Boss of Me” after Hillary Loss

Bill Clinton will finally get to be “the Boss of Me” after Hilary’s stunning loss in the US Presidential Election.
trump salute

Donald Trump autobiography ‘My Struggle’ set for December release

A spokesman for Donald Trump has announced that the eagerly anticipated Trump autobiography is set for release in early December just in time for Christmas. The book, titled "My Struggle" will focus largely on his...

Shortcake is nuttier than fruitcake – Parliamentary Inquiry finds

In another extraordinary turn of events in Australian, "She'll be right mate" politics, opposition leader, William Shortcake has been ridiculed in a Parliamentary Inquiry with an ironic twist.  Mr Shortcake demanded a Parliamentary Inquiry in...
Trump voters deface police recruitment poster with Trump Sticker

Trump voters deface Police posters with Trump stickers

Police Officers in Bumshart Nebrahoma were furious to discover that recruitment posters around the town had been defaced with pictures of Donald Trump. The multi-million pound recruitment drive in the book free town of Bumshart...

WW3 inevitable as Boris Johnson prank calls Putin and leaves burning bag of dog...

Hetrosexual Russian leader, Vladimir Putin immediately responded by sending a fleet of Grade 50 ballistic war ships to British waters.  He then instructed 4 million of his citizens to partake in a military drill where...
Putin White Denim

Putin to sing ‘This land is my land’ at Eurovision tonight

Russia today announced suprise plans to enter the Eurovision song contest tonight. The Russian entry is to be sung by Vladimir Putin and is entitled "This land is my land." The Rochdale Herald can reveal that the song...

The United States to allow Guns to be purchased from Vending Machines

United States, Washington DC - A new bill has been passed in the United States, to allow firearms to be sold from Vending Machines. The bill will take effect over the summer. This will...

Swiper named as Map Safety Ambassador by UN

The World Health Organization (WHO) has appointed Swiper, the thieving rodent, as a "map safety ambassador" to help tackle dangerous map use. New WHO head Dr Telemundo Random-Gibberish praised Mexico for its commitment to map...

Theresa May Selective In Button Pressing

Prime Minister Theresa May briefly excited Brexiters yesterday when she announced she would definitely push the button. As cheers rang out across the nation it slowly dawned on Europhobes that she was actually referring to...
Red and green nebula

Trump Election Due To Cosmic Emissions Says Brian Cox

Professor Brian Cox has explained the recent election of Donald Trump by pointing to a rare stellar phenomenon. The Oldham-but-not-Rochdale born scientist explained:- "On the 9th of November, an emission of electronically charged beta-ions was observed...

Germany devoid of German Christmas markets

German shoppers are disappointed that they have nowhere to buy lots of pointless tat in the run up to Christmas.  With every British town apparently having a German Christmas market now, Germans are wondering where...

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