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First shipment of thoughts and prayers for mass shooting victims arrive in California

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It's all better in California now after a much needed vital shipment of thoughts and prayers arrived in Gilroy following today's mass shooting. "Yeah, we're...
Donald Trump

Lord Lucan, Pol Pot, Martin Borman ,Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi and Boko Haram emerge from...

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An entire top shelf of global mass murderers have signalled they plan to emerge from hiding following the announcement by US president Donald trump...
Francis Underwood

Fictional President held to higher standard than actual President

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Fictional President of the United States Francis Underwood has been obliged to step down this week following allegations of historical sexual harassment. Whilst his Presidency...
Trump Baby

Trump eats baby in front of mother during rally

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Donald Trump hit a new low today by disembowelling a newborn baby and eating her still beating heart like an apple after she interrupted...

Trump adds Germany to Travel Ban after hostages taken at Nakatomi Tower

Donald Trump has added the populations of Germany and Austria to his controversial travel ban after hearing reports that terrorists have taken hostages at the Nakatomi Tower in Los Angeles, again.

RAF successfully destroy evidence of UK chemicals exports

Targeted strikes destroy invoices, with only minor collateral damage to Syrian accountants. RAF Bomber Command confirmed the series of raids sanctioned by the May government...

Beekeeper stung to death after Danish police force her to remove veil

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Denmark was in shock today after a Danish beekeeper was stung to death in a tragic apiculture accident in Denmark. The news comes just days...
FBI

There was nothing to tip us off about that bloke who bought 33 guns...

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The FBI have reiterated that there were absolutely no clues that a bloke who bought thirty three semi-automatic rifles in one year might have...

Just £3 a month will pay for cocaine and child prostitutes for an Oxfam...

A new fundraising campaign from Oxfam appealing to the better nature of child abusers is asking for just £3 a month to pay for...
Garda

Emergency services called after Bob Geldof disappears up his own arse

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Two fire engines along with police and ambulance crews were called to the centre of Dublin after reports came in that a man had...

Robert E Lee statue replaced by bronze of obese man on mobility scooter holding...

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“How would you stage a cavalry charge with a bunch of trucks?” Prof A Lither of Charlottesville wanted to know. “You’d have whiny little left wing cuckold snowflake hippy vegetarians complaining about the damage to the grass before you so much as made it across the field and into the unarmed ranks of the alt-left fanatics.
Trump Child

Department of Justice confirms that Trump will be tried as an adult

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The Department of Justice has confirmed that if and when Donald Trump is indicted for colluding with Russia during the 2016 Presidential election he...

US celebrates after number of days so far this year overtakes number of mass...

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Americans across America are celebrating the fact that for the first time since the invention of calendars there have been more days in the...

Gassing orphans is wrong says woman who prefers to starve them

Theresa May's regime has roundly condemned the Assad Regime's actions in Syria by saying it was wrong to use Sarin Gas on orphaned children. "It...

Donald Trump appoints Doogie Howser M.D. Coronavirus Czar

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POTAUS Donald Trump has announced the creation of a Coronavirus Czar charged with coordinating the US's response to Coronavirus. He revealed that Doogie Howser...

Civilised countries don’t gas civilians, they shoot them with AR-15s bought over counter at...

The US has told a UN Security Council meeting that the recent chemical attack on Syria is completely unacceptable.  Responding to reports of an incident...

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