First shipment of thoughts and prayers for mass shooting victims arrive in California
It's all better in California now after a much needed vital shipment of thoughts and prayers arrived in Gilroy following today's mass shooting.
"Yeah, we're...
Vladimir Putin wins Great Russian Bake-off after other contestants fall ill
Vladimir Putin has won the Russian version of Celebrity Great British Bake-off after all the other contestants sadly died in tragic but mysterious circumstances.
Mr...
?Kim Jong Un invents universal cure
The secretive state of North Korea has managed to cure most illnesses from the common cold to cancer, it has been revealed.
Ishit Yu Not,...
Fictional President held to higher standard than actual President
Fictional President of the United States Francis Underwood has been obliged to step down this week following allegations of historical sexual harassment.
Whilst his Presidency...
Putin to sing ‘This land is my land’ at Eurovision tonight
Russia today announced suprise plans to enter the Eurovision song contest tonight. The Russian entry is to be sung by Vladimir Putin and is entitled "This
land...
FBI reveals to Trump evidence of a golf course at Chernobyl
The FBI have allegedly revealed the location of a secret golf course in Chernobyl to Donald Trump today.
One FBI spokesman said, "POTATUS was on...
Patriotic Brexiteer spends £60M on Singapore homes after saving £60M in UK Corporation Tax
Patriotic billionaire Brexiteer, Singapore resident and tax exile James Dyson has just bought a £26M bungalow in Singapore weeks after buying a Penthouse in...
New Technology Foils Illegal Immigrants
In conjunction with the British Government-funded wall in Calais, British officials are working with maritime consultants on methods to physically prevent illegal immigrants from...
50 migrants in canoes rescued off Kent coast forced to return to UK
A search and rescue operation has recovered 50 migrants off the Kent coast, the Home Office has said.
As spokesman said the Border Force had...
Wales celebrates after spectacular 2016 Darwin Award victory
The population of Wales has been awarded a collective 2016 Darwin Award for its staggering act of self immolation in last year's referendum on...
Canada and Mexico to build border walls if World Bank will fund a lid
The governments of Canada and Mexico reached an historic agreement today to build 50 foot tall walls along their borders with the US on the proviso that the World Bank lends them the money for a lid.
Donald Trump appoints Doogie Howser M.D. Coronavirus Czar
POTAUS Donald Trump has announced the creation of a Coronavirus Czar charged with coordinating the US's response to Coronavirus. He revealed that Doogie Howser...
Emergency services called after Bob Geldof disappears up his own arse
Two fire engines along with police and ambulance crews were called to the centre of Dublin after reports came in that a man had...
Department of Justice confirms that Trump will be tried as an adult
The Department of Justice has confirmed that if and when Donald Trump is indicted for colluding with Russia during the 2016 Presidential election he...
RAF successfully destroy evidence of UK chemicals exports
Targeted strikes destroy invoices, with only minor collateral damage to Syrian accountants.
RAF Bomber Command confirmed the series of raids sanctioned by the May government...
Donald Trump calls for a ban on schools after latest US school shooting
So-called 'President' and full-time Twitter troll Donald Trump wants a 'total and complete shutdown' of schools in the US after the Florida School shooting earlier...
