Trump wears tinfoil hat to stop Obama hearing his thoughts…

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President Donald J. Trump has come up with an ingenious solution to prevent Obama from ‘spying on his thoughts’. He now wears a tinfoil...
Garda

Emergency services called after Bob Geldof disappears up his own arse

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Two fire engines along with police and ambulance crews were called to the centre of Dublin after reports came in that a man had...
Happy Family

Couples who call each other Mummy and Daddy told to pack it the f*ck...

Couples who call each other Mummy and Daddy have been told by the authorities to pack it the fuck in or be faced with...

50 migrants in canoes rescued off Kent coast forced to return to UK

A search and rescue operation has recovered 50 migrants off the Kent coast, the Home Office has said. As spokesman said the Border Force had...
Bob Geldof

Sanctimonious tax avoiding ex-pat hands back key to city he doesn’t live in for...

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London-dwelling sanctimonious tax-avoider Bob Geldof has said he will return his Freedom of the City of Dublin. Geldof, a remarkably rich registered non-dom who pays...
Angela Merkel

Angela Merkel to meet Theresa May to tell her to piss off in person

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Angela Merkel, the German Chancellor, is due to meet with Theresa May later today to spit in her face and tell her to piss...

ISIS claim responsibility for self-service checkouts

So called 'Islamic State'  have claimed responsibility for supermarket self service checkouts. A statement released by ISIS said they came up with the idea after...
Time Magazine

Trump towers above the little people for TIME magazine

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President-elect of the USA Donald J Trump has been named “Person Of The Year” by TIME magazine which referred to its own nation as...
Donald Trump has a gold leaf living room yet tells the government he doesn't pay tax because you would waste it

Man with solid gold living room tells government “I don’t pay tax because you...

1
A man who owns a solid gold living room reportedly told one hundred million of his closest friends that he doesn't pay Tax in...
Toxic Sign

Trump gives a shot in the arm to 2020 Darwin Awards

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President Donald Trump has thrown an unexpected and much appreciated lifeline to the 2020 Darwin Awards. The well-known website which describes itself as  a "salute...
Bono

Pope meets Bono to demand he removes U2’s albums from his iTunes account

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Pope Francis is to have a private audience with Bono to demand to know how to delete U2's latest album from his iTunes library. According...

Unite against hate, racism, bigotry and white supremacy, says hateful, racist, bigoted, white supremacist

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Hateful, racist, bigoted white supremacist Donald Trump has called on the people of the United States to unite against hate, racism, bigotry and white...

Trump storms out of NATO summit after Justin Trudeau appears in orange face

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Donald Trump has flounced off from a NATO summit after Justin Trudeau appeared to mock his appearance by appearing in 'orange face'. The incident took...

Trump Press Secretary buys fireproof underpants

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The secret of Press Secretary Sean Spicer's propensity for hyperbolic bullshitacity has been revealed.  He has reportedly been wearing a revolutionary new type of asbestos...

All Homosexuals should be stoned, says Mike Pence

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Vice President of the US, Mike Pence, has finally come out - with a statement that may shock many Republicans. President Trump joked a year...
trump salute

Donald Trump autobiography ‘My Struggle’ set for December release

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A spokesman for Donald Trump has announced that the eagerly anticipated Trump autobiography is set for release in early December just in time for...

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