Aliens land on earth, demand under no circumstances to be taken to our leaders
It has been confirmed that aliens have landed on earth over the festive period. Their large red craft, powered by nine outlying vaguely reindeer-shaped...
Trump trumped by top trumpeters
Six anti-Trump trumpeters who had been tunefully disrupting the presidential candidate on the campaign trail have been silenced - temporarily.
The musicians from the San...
May gives Nigerian Prince sort code, account number and PIN in trade negotiations
Theresa May has given her sort code, pin number and bank account number to a Nigerian Prince she's met whilst negotiating trade.
The exchange came...
You had some very fine people on both sides, Trump tells D-Day veterans
Donald Trump has told D-Day veterans that there were very fine people on both sides of the battles to control the Normandy Beaches during...
50 migrants in canoes rescued off Kent coast forced to return to UK
A search and rescue operation has recovered 50 migrants off the Kent coast, the Home Office has said.
As spokesman said the Border Force had...
Current crop of World leaders worse than horse shagging Roman Emperor says Politics Professor
The world is not going to hell in a handcart, it's going in a speeding fucking Formula 1 Ferrari, according to Bésemecula Adiós, professor...
I will sue my victims says Donald Trump
Donald Trump has vowed to track down and sue all of his victims after the presidential elections.
Royal Navy ordered to kill any f*cking Frenchman who so much as looks at...
10 Downing Street has ordered the Royal Navy to kill any f*cking Frenchman who so much as looks at a British fish.
The order has...
Trump defuses “alt facts” row by appointing Humpty Dumpty as Secretary of State for...
US President Donald Trump today moved to defuse the smouldering row over the 'alternative facts' presented by his media counsellor Kellyanne Conway, by appointing fictional Alice-Through-the-Looking-Glass...
Saudi woman celebrates being able to drive to friends stoning
A Saudi woman has been telling the Rochdale Herald how she's looking forward to being allowed to drive to the stoning of a woman...
Russian-branded Emperor’s new memo wallets causing security concerns
Two mysterious Russian stationery salesmen are coming under scrutiny tonight as memo wallets they supplied to government departments may not be all they are...
Man with solid gold living room tells government “I don’t pay tax because you...
A man who owns a solid gold living room reportedly told one hundred million of his closest friends that he doesn't pay Tax in...
Trump’s cognitive ability is normal, says White House vet
WASHINGTON: The actual real-life US President Donald Trump has achieved a normal score on a cognitive exam and is in excellent fettle, although he...
Donald Trump autobiography ‘My Struggle’ set for December release
A spokesman for Donald Trump has announced that the eagerly anticipated Trump autobiography is set for release in early December just in time for...
Nigel Farage spends £1,000 on Ferrero Rocher ‘just in case’
Far right stringless Thunderbird puppet and multi-millionaire Dulwich educated ex-banker and man of the people Nigel Farage reportedly bought the middle class toffees straight...
Only a good guy with a knife can stop a bad guy with a...
The Head of the National Cutlery Association, Wayne La Cuillère, has lashed out at Donald Trump on Twitter this afternoon, after the US President...
