Russia to shoot down all planes in Syrian airspace, including their own
This morning Russia released an announcement stating that any and all aircraft entering Syrian airspace will be immediately shot down without warning.
This, apparently,...
Trump enlists Gary Glitter to play inauguration
There are reports that Donald Trump is struggling to find top acts to perform or present at his inaugural event.
The demagogue was able to...
Turkey pardoned by Trump beats him at scrabble
A Turkey that was pardoned by Donald Trump for Thanksgiving has beaten him at scrabble.
Traditionally a turkey is pardoned by the serving President just...
Donald Trump tests positive for IQ-19
Despite being the healthiest individual ever elected to the Presidency, reports are emerging that Donald Trump has tested positive for IQ-19.
Harold Bornstein, Trump's former...
A country full of religious crackpots shouldn’t have nuclear weapons, says country full of...
A country full of religious crackpots and nuclear weapons has condemned another country full of religious crackpots for pressing on with their nuclear programme.
Hassan...
RAF successfully destroy evidence of UK chemicals exports
Targeted strikes destroy invoices, with only minor collateral damage to Syrian accountants.
RAF Bomber Command confirmed the series of raids sanctioned by the May government...
Donald Trump shits on White House floor after learning Obama uses toilets
News is emerging this morning that Donald Trump has started defecating on the floor like a dog after learning that Barack Obama uses toilets.
Several...
Greta Thunberg urges politicians to think of the planet they are leaving for Keith...
Greta Thunberg has urged politicians to consider the planet they are leaving for Keith Richards when making policies that affect the climate.
Speaking just before...
Why does this keep happening, ask imbeciles who keep selling guns to people who...
Fuckwits in America who keep blocking gun control reform have been forced to once again ask the question "why do mass shootings happen over...
Awkward moment for Joseph as Jesus gets Ancestry UK DNA testing kit for Christmas
In what has been described as the most awkward Christmas gift ever; Jesus has been given an Ancestry UK DNA testing kit for Christmas.
One...
Irishman confused by difference between abortions and prosecuting women
An Irish fella is presently proving himself more full of gas than a tinker's hound by spouting no end of shite on the twitters....
National holiday declared as USA goes 6 days without mass shooting
This is the closest to a full week that the US has gone without a mass shooting since 'The Great Week of Peace' in...
All your medals belong to us – Says China
As the country basks in the glory of Team GB's second place in the Olympic medal table, China released a press statement saying,
"The People's...
Melania did not have sex with horrible old men for money admits Daily Mail
The Daily Mail have gone on the record today to say that Melania Trump did not and never has had sex with any horrible...
“We’re looking forward to getting out” say nuclear weapons.
Nuclear weapons all over the world are today looking forward to their upcoming launch as an opportunity to stretch their legs.
With launch codes about...
Emergency ‘Thoughts and Prayers’ cabinets to be installed in every American classroom by 2020
The US Department of Education has revealed plans to install emergency 'Thoughts and Prayers' cabinets in every school classroom by the year 2020.
The announcement...
