Donald Trump has added the populations of Germany and Austria to his controversial travel ban after hearing reports that terrorists have taken hostages at the Nakatomi Tower in Los Angeles, again.

A spokesman for the Trump “administration” told The Rochdale Herald that the US needed to close the borders to German citizens until the US has “figured out what the hell is going”.

The decision was taken after Trump overheard TV reports that members of the East German Volksfrei Movement had seized approximately one hundred hostages while they were enjoying their Christmas Party.

Trump said of the travel ban: “It was done for the security of our nation, the security of our citizens, so that people come in who aren’t going to do us harm. And that’s why it was done.”

“I was a good student. I comprehend things,” he said. “I understand very well. Better than, I think, almost anybody. And I want to tell you. I listened to a bunch of stuff last night on television that was disgraceful.”

The US Supreme Court is said to be considering overturning the Executive Order because “Donald Trump is a idiot.”

Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg said: “He’s done what? Are you sure? Surely even Donald Trump isn’t this dumb?”

“Are you sure he isn’t just watching a late eighties action movie again? We had a whole rigmarole a few weeks ago when he watched Men in Black and drafted that resolution to deport ‘illegal aliens’.”

“The man’s clearly bonkers.”

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Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.