South African Scientist Discovers Free Non-Polluting Energy Source
Imagine the scenario: you are in a pub, when a local starts spouting racist nonsense. You have an overwhelming desire to stand up and...
That’s how you know you’ve fucked up No.72. Mass Shootings a Daily Occurence
America, land of the brave and home of the free as well as Donald Trump & Charles Manson, hit an important milestone this week....
Coal prices spike on news of Katy Hopkins’ incineration
International coal prices have jumped to $120 a tonne, their highest since 2011, following news that a British court has sentenced Daily Mail columnist...
Turkish voters refuse to believe Erdogan a dictator till they see it written on...
Turkish voters across the country are still refusing to believe that Erdogan is an autocratic dictator despite the fact that he's locked up all...
Queen to greet Donald Trump with narwhal tusk
Buckingham Palace has refused to confirm rumors that the Queen will greet Donald Trump with a narwhal tusk during his visit to the UK...
Americans horrified to learn what the word ‘amendment’ means
As hillbillies, rednecks and evangelical Christian right wing crackpots continue to celebrate the last thrashings of America's hold on reality with their ongoing support...
College Professor assaults Trump supporter
A college professor in the US has come under fire from leading figures in the Republican Party after he allegedly assaulted a number of...
Expat Moans About EU Citizens in UK
A British expat has hailed Parliament's rejection of EU citizens' right to stay in the UK post Brexit.
Speaking from beside his swimming pool at...
David Brent to sing Equality Street at Trump Inauguration
Following the shock withdrawal of Bruce Springsteen tribute band the B-Street Band from the Trump Inauguration David Brent is thrilled to announce that his band Foregone Conclusion have agreed terms to perform.
Emergency services called after Bob Geldof disappears up his own arse
Two fire engines along with police and ambulance crews were called to the centre of Dublin after reports came in that a man had...
Chilcot stuns world with news that Pope is catholic
Sir John Chilcot has stunned the world by stating again that the Pope is catholic and so it seems is Britain's greatest wartime leader...
Charlie Brooker commits suicide whilst writing his 2016 Wipe
The much loved satirist repeatedly smashed his face into his own coffee table whilst reading through a draft of his hugely anticipated show.
In the...
50 migrants in canoes rescued off Kent coast forced to return to UK
A search and rescue operation has recovered 50 migrants off the Kent coast, the Home Office has said.
As spokesman said the Border Force had...
Wales celebrates after spectacular 2016 Darwin Award victory
The population of Wales has been awarded a collective 2016 Darwin Award for its staggering act of self immolation in last year's referendum on...
All your medals belong to us – Says China
As the country basks in the glory of Team GB's second place in the Olympic medal table, China released a press statement saying,
"The People's...
Dumpster fires unhappy about comparisons to US Democracy
Skip fires around the world have declared they are unhappy with being compared to the US democratic process.
