Bob Geldof

Sanctimonious tax avoiding ex-pat hands back key to city he doesn’t live in for...

0
London-dwelling sanctimonious tax-avoider Bob Geldof has said he will return his Freedom of the City of Dublin. Geldof, a remarkably rich registered non-dom who pays...
Putin Tillerson

Putin sacks head of US State Department Rex Tillerson

0
WASHINGTON - The leader of the United States, President Vladimir Putin, announced Tuesday morning that he had fired his Secretary State Rex Tillerson and...
Donald Genius Trump

The ‘J’ is for Genius, confirms Donald J Trump

0
Washington - The actual real life President of the United States of America Donald J Trump has cleared up speculation over the weekend about...
Ivanka Trump

Donald Trump’s penis not bigger than Kim Jong Un’s, confirms Ivanka Trump

0
Sources close to the President have confirmed that Donald Trump's willy is not bigger than Kim Jong Un's. It is being reported around the world...

North Korean media reports North Korea has won the World Cup

0
North Korea has won the World Cup despite not qualifying for the tournament. At least that's what the north Korean media has said today. North...

Canada recognises the Alamo as capital of Mexico

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Donald Trump has given a calm and measured response to news that Canada intends to move it's Mexican embassy to the Alamo. Just kidding. Trump...

Americans horrified to learn what the word ‘amendment’ means

52
As hillbillies, rednecks and evangelical Christian right wing crackpots continue to celebrate the last thrashings of America's hold on reality with their ongoing support...

Terrifying clown in next Stephen King film to be perma-tanned and have a combover

10
Stephen King took to twitter today to reveal a juicy nugget regarding his next movie project, ’Idiot’, a sequel to ‘It’, will feature a...

Small bald man held for questioning over fairground disappearance of six children

Police have arrested a small bald wizard in connection with the unsolved disappearance of six children between the ages of 8 and 15 at...
Happy Family

Couples who call each other Mummy and Daddy told to pack it the f*ck...

Couples who call each other Mummy and Daddy have been told by the authorities to pack it the fuck in or be faced with...
Donald Trump

Trump enlists Gary Glitter to play inauguration

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There are reports that Donald Trump is struggling to find top acts to perform or present at his inaugural event. The demagogue was able to...

Pathetic spoilt lying child learns lying works both ways

2
A nursery class somewhere in the US was reportedly in turmoil yesterday.  The usual relative calm was shattered by a screaming blubber-baby having a foot...
Surprised Santa

Santa to be denied entry to U.K. under proposed points system

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Santa is to be denied entry to the UK under the new points based immigration system. A Home Office spokesman told us, "The system...
Theresa may Trump

Racist right wing nut-job to meet racist right wing nut-job at Downing Street on...

A racist right wing whack-job will meet a racist right wing nut-job when he visits the UK for bilateral talks on July 13th, Downing...

“Are we living in Nazi Germany?” Tweets man backed by Neo-Nazis.

1
Without any inkling of irony at all, a man who has the support of the USA's best and brightest Neo-Nazi....sorry, Alt-Right groups, and who...
Michael Gove

Gove calls for post-Brexit legalisation of cannibalism

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Former Tory minister and leading Brexit campaigner Michael Gove has called on the government to slash EU regulations on cannibalism which he claims have...

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