Satire Is Officially Obsolete, Satirists Announce

Satirists have officially announced that satire is no more, it has been confirmed. A spokesman on behalf of satirists, announced, "As of January 31st 2017, satire is dead." Satire has been called obsolete in the past,...

Trump challenges Nancy Pelosi to MMA fight

In perhaps his most bizarre tweet ever Donald Trump has challenged Nancy Pelosi to a fight in the "Pentagon". On the eve of his expected impeachment Trump tweeted, "I wanna challenge Nancy Pelosi...

RAF successfully destroy evidence of UK chemicals exports

Targeted strikes destroy invoices, with only minor collateral damage to Syrian accountants. RAF Bomber Command confirmed the series of raids sanctioned by the May government had achieved mission success. The hastily sanctioned mission scrambled to...
trump salute

Donald Trump autobiography ‘My Struggle’ set for December release

A spokesman for Donald Trump has announced that the eagerly anticipated Trump autobiography is set for release in early December just in time for Christmas. The book, titled "My Struggle" will focus largely on his...
Michael Flatley

Michael Flatley confirmed as world’s second biggest wanker

Rhino horn collector and jig enthusiast Michael Flatley confirmed today that he is the World's second biggest wanker after announcing he will perform a jig at Trump's Inauguration Ball.

Argentina offers to invade Falklands Islands for £1B if that will help May?

A man claiming to represent Argentina has allegedly phoned the British prime minister and said for £1 billion they will pretend to invade the Islas Malvinas, if that will help Theresa May stay prime...

Tim Nice But Dim appointed UK Ambassador to the EU

In a surprise move Theresa May has appointed Tim Nice But Dim UK Amabassador to the EU.

Chemical Attack was fake news says Asshat

Bashir Assad has denied an attack on Khan Sheikhoun ever took place. “The attack was a fiction of the Western press,” said the Syrian leader who previously said by proxy that it was an attack...
Donald Genius Trump

Donald Trump shits on White House floor after learning Obama uses toilets

News is emerging this morning that Donald Trump has started defecating on the floor like a dog after learning that Barack Obama uses toilets. Several cleaners in the White...
Rock Paper Scissors

Trump and Putin fail to beat each other in two hour long rock, paper,...

Presidents Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin met face to face for the first time in public yesterday and went for each other in a rock, paper, scissor handshake test. The world’s media were watching and...

All guns to be armed with guns

In the wake of the latest mass shooting of innocent people to take place on U.S. soil, the National Rifle Association has issued a warning that the only way to prevent further tragedy is...

Shortcake is nuttier than fruitcake – Parliamentary Inquiry finds

In another extraordinary turn of events in Australian, "She'll be right mate" politics, opposition leader, William Shortcake has been ridiculed in a Parliamentary Inquiry with an ironic twist.  Mr Shortcake demanded a Parliamentary Inquiry in...

Short range nuclear missiles made available to American public in bid to reduce gun...

Following a series of atrocities in the United States over the weekend in which more than twenty five members of the public were shot and killed the government has announced dramatic reforms...
Obi Wan Kenobi

‘What happened on Alderaan was terrible but I condemn the violence done by all...

Obi Wan Kenobi, under pressure from Yoda and other members of the ghost Jedi Council to condemn the destruction of Alderaan, has issued a statement saying that he "condemns the violence on both sides." Many...
A delighted Sun Reader

Sun says Trump not nonce as he checks girls teeth before ‘dating’ 

Sun Readers thrilled Donald Trump acquitted of raping 13 year old after convincing judge she "had teeth of 21 year old."

Donald Trump is a twat, confirm G6 leaders

Leader's of the G6 have agreed on the text of a communique officially declaring that Donald Trump is a twat. One spokesperson said, "It's been a tough few days. It didn't look like anyone was...

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