College Professor assaults Trump supporter

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A college professor in the US has come under fire from leading figures in the Republican Party after he allegedly assaulted a number of...
Gaza

Israel celebrates Eurovision win by bombing Gaza strip

Israel has celebrated winning the Eurovision song contest with a massive aerial bombardment of the Gaza Strip and shooting dead some Palestinian civilians. Nine Palestinian...
Assad

Assad regime toppled after receiving strongly worded letter from Jeremy Corbyn

Jeremy Corbyn has issued a strongly worded letter to Bashar al-Assad today. It seems it's had some effect as the regime has been toppled. Jamal...
Woman who put cat in a wheelie bin

Woman who put cat in wheelie bin appointed goodwill ambassador to World Wildlife Fund

In a controversial move the World Wildlife Fund has appointed that old woman who was filmed putting a cat in a wheelie bin in...

50 migrants in canoes rescued off Kent coast forced to return to UK

A search and rescue operation has recovered 50 migrants off the Kent coast, the Home Office has said. As spokesman said the Border Force had...

Pathetic spoilt lying child learns lying works both ways

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A nursery class somewhere in the US was reportedly in turmoil yesterday.  The usual relative calm was shattered by a screaming blubber-baby having a foot...

IKEA founder funeral delayed because man won’t look at instructions

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The funeral of IKEA founder Ingvar Kamprad has been delayed by several days as staff at the funeral parlour attempt to assemble his coffin....

Kennedy files reveal he is definitely dead

1
The publication of nearly 3,000 previously classified files relating to the assassination of John F Kennedy in 1963 reveals that the former US President...

Emergency ‘Thoughts and Prayers’ cabinets to be installed in every American classroom by 2020

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The US Department of Education has revealed plans to install emergency 'Thoughts and Prayers' cabinets in every school classroom by the year 2020. The announcement...

Oh for F**k’s sake – say world leaders following Trump nomination

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Leaders around the world let out a simultaneous sigh of despair last night as the Republican Party confirmed Donald Trump's presidential nomination. In yet another...
Angela Merkel

Angela Merkel to meet Theresa May to tell her to piss off in person

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Angela Merkel, the German Chancellor, is due to meet with Theresa May later today to spit in her face and tell her to piss...

Trump says he didn’t sexually assault 3.52 billion other women

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Bewigged bouffant buffoon, Donald J. Trump, an actual potential president, made the claim at his latest rally. The tiny handed eater of souls came under...

NASA announce Kellyanne Conway is not of this world

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NASA has announced it will hold a press conference later this week to reveal new discoveries "of significant importance, "beyond our solar system". The agency...

Donald Trump tweets that he was going to be asked to marry Harry but...

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Donald Trump has sensationally tweeted that Prince Harry was going to ask him to marry him. POTUS explained on social media yesterday that he...
Time Magazine

Trump towers above the little people for TIME magazine

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President-elect of the USA Donald J Trump has been named “Person Of The Year” by TIME magazine which referred to its own nation as...
Trump

Donald Trump is a hoax, says Global Warming

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Global Warming, the phenomenon by which mankind is fucking up the environment, has confirmed on Twitter today that Donald Trump is in fact a...

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