Fat bottomed ape learns to mimic human sounds
Washington DC - A seventy year primitive primate that can mimic human words such as hello, bigly, braggadocios, and covfefe is thought to be...
Lord Lucan, Pol Pot, Martin Borman ,Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi and Boko Haram emerge from...
An entire top shelf of global mass murderers have signalled they plan to emerge from hiding following the announcement by US president Donald trump...
Canada recognises the Alamo as capital of Mexico
Donald Trump has given a calm and measured response to news that Canada intends to move it's Mexican embassy to the Alamo.
Just kidding. Trump...
We always go on holiday to visit housing estates, say Russian poisoning suspects
2 Russians who are suspected to have poisoned Sergei Skripal and Yulia Skripal have told Russia Today that they always go on holiday and...
State of emergency declared as Hurricane Dorian heads towards rich white people
Category 4 hurricane 'Dorian' has caused devastation throughout the Bahamas this week.
The hurricane has broken previous records of longest sustained category 5 status and...
Angela Merkel to meet Theresa May to tell her to piss off in person
Angela Merkel, the German Chancellor, is due to meet with Theresa May later today to spit in her face and tell her to piss...
The ‘J’ is for Genius, confirms Donald J Trump
Washington - The actual real life President of the United States of America Donald J Trump has cleared up speculation over the weekend about...
Trump restores American faith in Bush
Donald Trump has today been credited with restoring America's faith in Bush.
Dwayne Dwight of Alabama told the Herald "I was big into Bush in...
Assad regime toppled after receiving strongly worded letter from Jeremy Corbyn
Jeremy Corbyn has issued a strongly worded letter to Bashar al-Assad today. It seems it's had some effect as the regime has been toppled.
Jamal...
Historians will look back at 2016 as a major catalyst. They won’t remember celebrity...
Whilst you were all distracted with American politics and the ins and outs of Article 50 being triggered, the government has passed the controversial...
Mary and Joseph arrested for health tourism
Reports are reaching us that 2 people have been arrested in Judah on suspicion of being healthcare tourists. The pair say they are parents...
Donald Trump autobiography ‘My Struggle’ set for December release
A spokesman for Donald Trump has announced that the eagerly anticipated Trump autobiography is set for release in early December just in time for...
Donald Trump hires Hugo Boss to design new ‘Cabinet Uniform’
The controversial decision to hire Hugo Boss was openly discussed by The President-elect, Donald J. Trump, on Good Morning America yesterday during a catwalk...
Too soon since last mass shooting and not long enough before next one to...
In the wake of the latest mass shooting in a bar in Ohio that has claimed the lives of at least 9 people The White...
Trump awards Trump Imaginary Medal of Honor for imaginary heroics
President of the actually terrific US, Donald Trump, is to reward his own bravery with a special medal, the Purple Cheeseburger, after his courage...
Trump to release fresh evidence that Obama shot JR
The so-called "President" of the United States has ordered the CIA release all of the files relating to the attempted assassination of Texan oil...
