Russian-branded Emperor’s new memo wallets causing security concerns
Two mysterious Russian stationery salesmen are coming under scrutiny tonight as memo wallets they supplied to government departments may not be all they are...
May tells Merkel,”This is just a taste of what I’ve got”.
News reports this morning state that the entire city of Hannover is to be evacuated following the discovery of numerous unexploded WW2 bombs.
Apparently, Theresa...
Remain campaigners thwarted by import shortage of “I Told You So”s
Anti-Brexit campaigners are suffering from a shortage of "I Told You So"s, as "Project Fear" rapidly swings into "Operation I Told You So", as...
Nigel Farage spends £1,000 on Ferrero Rocher ‘just in case’
Far right stringless Thunderbird puppet and multi-millionaire Dulwich educated ex-banker and man of the people Nigel Farage reportedly bought the middle class toffees straight...
Only a good guy with a knife can stop a bad guy with a...
The Head of the National Cutlery Association, Wayne La Cuillère, has lashed out at Donald Trump on Twitter this afternoon, after the US President...
Emergency ‘Thoughts and Prayers’ cabinets to be installed in every American classroom by 2020
The US Department of Education has revealed plans to install emergency 'Thoughts and Prayers' cabinets in every school classroom by the year 2020.
The announcement...
Vladimir Putin wins Great Russian Bake-off after other contestants fall ill
Vladimir Putin has won the Russian version of Celebrity Great British Bake-off after all the other contestants sadly died in tragic but mysterious circumstances.
Mr...
Americans horrified to learn what the word ‘amendment’ means
As hillbillies, rednecks and evangelical Christian right wing crackpots continue to celebrate the last thrashings of America's hold on reality with their ongoing support...
Aung San Suu Kyi surrenders Freedom of Dublin refusing to share the honour with...
Burmese leader Aung San Suu Kyi has given up her Freedom of the city of Dublin in protest at sharing the distinction with Bono,...
Expat Moans About EU Citizens in UK
A British expat has hailed Parliament's rejection of EU citizens' right to stay in the UK post Brexit.
Speaking from beside his swimming pool at...
EU offers bribe of better UK weather if we remain
The European Union, desperate for the UK to remain, have said that the proposed European Standard Weather system due to come into operation early...
The Australian Federal Opposition has called for a Royal Commission into Royal Commissions
In an extraordinary turn of events in Australia Opposition Immigration Minister Aidan Androyd has declared the "necessity for this Royal Commission."
"Well, I tried to...
EU designates British cockwombles “endangered species”
Indigenous British cockwombles have been given official European Union "endangered species" designation as their numbers have plummeted due to loss of habitat to invasive...
Mike Pence unhappy ‘in transition’
Vice-President elect Mike Pence is expected to ask Donald Trump to move him to another area after becoming unhappy as part of the incoming Republican’s transition...
Donald Trump arrives in Germany and says ‘Ich bin ein Binliner’ Berlin agrees
President Donald Trump landed in Germany Sunday morning to kick off the first leg of his 12-day trip to Europe.
Trump held a surprise press...
Singing Ringing Tree to be felled for post-Brexit firewood
Britain's exit from the European Union is set to spell the end for some of the country's best loved children's TV programmes, it was...
