Aliens land on earth, demand under no circumstances to be taken to our leaders
It has been confirmed that aliens have landed on earth over the festive period. Their large red craft, powered by nine outlying vaguely reindeer-shaped...
Emergency services called after Bob Geldof disappears up his own arse
Two fire engines along with police and ambulance crews were called to the centre of Dublin after reports came in that a man had...
Black people in England 8.2 times more likely to accidentally run into police truncheons...
Priti Patel today confirmed that the Black Lives Matter movement is a protest about American racism that has nothing to do with England. The...
Trump hails Polish culture saying “Pole dancers are the best, I’m a huge fan,...
US President Donald Trump Thursday attempted to cement US-Polish relations in a speech delivered in the Polish capital Warsaw on the first day of...
I married him for rugged good looks and winning personality claims Melania Trump
Melania Trump has gone on the record to tell the world that she married Donald Trump not for his money but his rugged good looks, winning personality and his open minded views on immigration.
Russia urges foreign powers not to meddle in their U.K. elections
The Russian Government has urged all nations to refrain from interfering in its UK elections.
A spokesman told us, "We are very worried about other...
Donald Trump autobiography ‘My Struggle’ set for December release
A spokesman for Donald Trump has announced that the eagerly anticipated Trump autobiography is set for release in early December just in time for...
Harvey Weinstein one step closer to presidency after filing for bankruptcy
The New York studio co-founded by disgraced film producer Harvey Weinstein is to file for bankruptcy, in a move sure to put him a...
Fatal logic feedback loop kills five more Americans
America has once again been proved right as yet another mass shooting takes place in shopping mall and nobody armed inside could shoot the...
Putin joins America in suffering from Trumpgret
Relations between the US and the Russian Federation have deteriorated since Trump became president, says Vladimir Putin.
"Listen, sweetie dahling, I thought rigging the elections...
Wales celebrates after spectacular 2016 Darwin Award victory
The population of Wales has been awarded a collective 2016 Darwin Award for its staggering act of self immolation in last year's referendum on...
If everyone had nukes we’d all be safe, says Kim Jong-un
Following the awful Las Vegas massacre, the Great Leader of North Korea has barrelled into the ensuing gun control debate. His message came through...
Melania did not have sex with horrible old men for money admits Daily Mail
The Daily Mail have gone on the record today to say that Melania Trump did not and never has had sex with any horrible...
Melania Trump is nothing like Eva Braun, she didn’t get tits out for money...
Sean Spicer has put his foot in mouth again today by accidentally drawing comparisons between Hitler's wife, Eva Braun, and the First Lady, Melania...
Putin has confirmed he will run for second term as President of United States
After his self proclaimed "success with that bloated orange puppet" Vladimir Putin has announced that he will seek to control him in a second...
Greta Thunberg urges politicians to think of the planet they are leaving for Keith...
Greta Thunberg has urged politicians to consider the planet they are leaving for Keith Richards when making policies that affect the climate.
Speaking just before...
