Trump

You had some very fine people on both sides, Trump tells D-Day veterans

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Donald Trump has told D-Day veterans that there were very fine people on both sides of the battles to control the Normandy Beaches during...

Boris meant Saudis are awesome says Defence Secretary Michael Fallon

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Boris Johnson’s words on Saudi Arabia and other Middle East powers were misreported, according to a clearly desperate Defence Secretary Sir Mr Michael of Fallon.
Donald Trump

Donald Trump calls for a ban on schools after latest US school shooting

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So-called 'President' and full-time Twitter troll Donald Trump wants a 'total and complete shutdown' of schools in the US after the Florida School shooting earlier...
Trump Golf Twitter

Crack pot dictator arrives in Singapore to meet Kim Jong Un

Singapore: Crack-pot dictator and wannabe dictator Donald Trump has arrived in Singapore to meet crack-pot dictator Kim Jong Un. It's hoped that the pair may...
Donald Trump & Jermey Kyle

Donald Trump to appear on Jeremy Kyle Show

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Jeremy Kyle was said to be jubilant this morning after securing an exclusive appearance by Donald Trump. The show which is titled "Five children by...

Tim Nice But Dim appointed UK Ambassador to the EU

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In a surprise move Theresa May has appointed Tim Nice But Dim UK Amabassador to the EU.
Guns for sale

Mass shootings are an unsolvable problem says country with a mass shootings problem

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A country that has a really serious problem with deranged lunatics buying really big guns and shooting dozens of strangers has publicly said it...
Mike Pence

Jesus definitely said ‘Suffer the little children to come unto me, so I can...

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The US Vice President, Mike Pence, has told reporters that the Trump administration's policy of keeping child migrants in cages is definitely consistent with the...
Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson launches ‘Free Robert Mugabe’ campaign

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The campaign is headed up by Boris Johnson who is thought to believe that if it's successful he could be the leader of Zanu...
@bluebeany

UK Customs replace “Nothing to declare” signs with “Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter...

Following the news that Boris Johnson has been elected Prime Minister UK Customs officials have decided to replace all the 'Nothing to Declare' signs...
Donald Trump has a gold leaf living room yet tells the government he doesn't pay tax because you would waste it

Man with solid gold living room tells government “I don’t pay tax because you...

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A man who owns a solid gold living room reportedly told one hundred million of his closest friends that he doesn't pay Tax in...

I married him for rugged good looks and winning personality claims Melania Trump

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Melania Trump has gone on the record to tell the world that she married Donald Trump not for his money but his rugged good looks, winning personality and his open minded views on immigration.

Man who works at institution he’s opposed to because he’s paid to says he...

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Nigel Farage, who said a month ago that he wouldn't pledge support for Trump, has appeared at a Trump rally to pledge support for...

Fat People Rejoice as America Turns Into a Parody of Itself

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Scenes of wild jubilation, gunfire and a surfeit of 'Go Large Burgers with Extra Fries' greeted the overnight transformation of the United States of...
Priest

How do we fill workhouses with vulnerable children to “take care of” now, asks...

The Roman Catholic Church is in crisis today after Ireland voted decisively to repeal one of the world's most restrictive abortion bans. The church is...

Donald Trump is a twat, confirm G6 leaders

Leader's of the G6 have agreed on the text of a communique officially declaring that Donald Trump is a twat. One spokesperson said, "It's been...

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