International News

The Russian Government has urged all nations to refrain from interfering in its UK elections. A spokesman told us, "We are very worried about other countries meddling in the UK elections. How can...

The 14th century cathedral has already lost one of its spires and a large section of roof in the blaze after a fire broke out around 18:00 this evening. Hundreds of thousands of Catholics around...

A college professor in the US has come under fire from leading figures in the Republican Party after he allegedly assaulted a number of completely innocent Trump supporters during a visit to...

Rhino horn collector and jig enthusiast Michael Flatley confirmed today that he is the World's second biggest wanker after announcing he will perform a jig at Trump's Inauguration Ball.

The Ukrainian town of Chernobyl has rejected a proposal to twin with Rochdale, a spokesman for Rochdale council confirmed to the Herald. The town shot to fame in the mid 1980s when still located...

Couples who call each other Mummy and Daddy have been told by the authorities to pack it the fuck in or be faced with having their toenails removed with pliers and being...

Donald Trump has announced that he's no longer going to demand money to build a wall at the border between the United States and Mexico. Instead, he intends to spend a couple of grand...

Donald Trump has announced the launch of a new science course that will be taught at Trump University from September. The course will feature subject matter not covered in more traditional science courses and will be aimed...

In a surprising announcement, Jeremy Corbyn has said he plans to become Ayatollah in a bid to replace Ayatollah Ali Khamenei in Iran. A spokesman said, "Iran is a country with a young population. Since...

A new fundraising campaign from Oxfam appealing to the better nature of child abusers is asking for just £3 a month to pay for drugs and sex with children for Aid workers. "Obviously our paedophiles...

A spokesman for Donald Trump has announced that the eagerly anticipated Trump autobiography is set for release in early December just in time for Christmas. The book, titled "My Struggle" will focus largely on his...

Russia today announced suprise plans to enter the Eurovision song contest tonight. The Russian entry is to be sung by Vladimir Putin and is entitled "This land is my land." The Rochdale Herald can reveal that the song...

The unjust plastic straw ban threatens the American way of life, but citizens are finding an innovative way to beat the ban.   Consuming tens of thousands of calories a day is as American as a...

Donald Trump hit a new low today by disembowelling a newborn baby and eating her still beating heart like an apple after she interrupted him during a speech at a rally. The esteemed political philosopher...

Deidre McDearie, voted Rochdale's leading lady of the night eight years' running, has challenged President Putin over his claims that Russia's call girls are the best in the world. "I dunno what criteria they're using,...

In a bid to reclaim his slipping crown of clown demagogue, South Korean leader Kim Jong Un is to appear in his new celebrity makeover show "Pimp my Mullet". The recent election win of Donald...