God refuses to put out Notre Dame fire until he gets 100,000 likes =...

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The 14th century cathedral has already lost one of its spires and a large section of roof in the blaze after a fire broke...

Emergency ‘Thoughts and Prayers’ cabinets to be installed in every American classroom by 2020

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The US Department of Education has revealed plans to install emergency 'Thoughts and Prayers' cabinets in every school classroom by the year 2020. The announcement...

Trump storms out of NATO summit after Justin Trudeau appears in orange face

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Donald Trump has flounced off from a NATO summit after Justin Trudeau appeared to mock his appearance by appearing in 'orange face'. The incident took...

UK border agency given right to conduct posthumous deportations

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The UK border agency has been given the green light to start deporting the interred remains of people not born in the UK, a...
Garda

Emergency services called after Bob Geldof disappears up his own arse

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Two fire engines along with police and ambulance crews were called to the centre of Dublin after reports came in that a man had...

Awkward moment for Joseph as Jesus gets Ancestry UK DNA testing kit for Christmas

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In what has been described as the most awkward Christmas gift ever; Jesus has been given an Ancestry UK DNA testing kit for Christmas. One...
Toxic Sign

Trump gives a shot in the arm to 2020 Darwin Awards

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President Donald Trump has thrown an unexpected and much appreciated lifeline to the 2020 Darwin Awards. The well-known website which describes itself as  a "salute...

International Olympics Comittee ‘really surprised’ by Russian doping

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More than 1000 Russian athletes have been implicated as drug cheats by a report today. The Rochdale Herald asks "Only 1000. Really?" At least 30...
Sea Wall

Trump announces plan for sea wall to keep out foreign storms

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Donald Trump has unveiled his latest scheme to “make America great again” - a huge wall along the entire coast to keep out hurricanes,...

Trump and Steve Bannon to wrestle naked for alt-right leadership

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It has emerged that President Donald Trump and Breitbart Chief Steve Bannon have apparently arranged to wrestle naked on the White House South Lawn...

British expats outraged as boat full of migrants wash up on their Spanish beach

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Beachgoers were surprised by the sight of dozens of migrants scrambling out of the surf today at the Playa de los Alemanes resort in...
Pope and Trump

Pope Officiates At Funeral For US Democracy

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There was not a dry eye in the house today as Donald Trump, and the special ladies in his life, attended the funeral for...
Donald Genius Trump

The ‘J’ is for Genius, confirms Donald J Trump

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Washington - The actual real life President of the United States of America Donald J Trump has cleared up speculation over the weekend about...

A country full of religious crackpots shouldn’t have nuclear weapons, says country full of...

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A country full of religious crackpots and nuclear weapons has condemned another country full of religious crackpots for pressing on with their nuclear programme. Hassan...
Woman who put cat in a wheelie bin

Woman who put cat in wheelie bin appointed goodwill ambassador to World Wildlife Fund

In a controversial move the World Wildlife Fund has appointed that old woman who was filmed putting a cat in a wheelie bin in...

Donald Trump hires Hugo Boss to design new ‘Cabinet Uniform’

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The controversial decision to hire Hugo Boss was openly discussed by The President-elect, Donald J. Trump, on Good Morning America yesterday during a catwalk...

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