Russia urges foreign powers not to meddle in their U.K. elections

0
The Russian Government has urged all nations to refrain from interfering in its UK elections. A spokesman told us, "We are very worried about other...
Toxic Sign

Trump gives a shot in the arm to 2020 Darwin Awards

0
President Donald Trump has thrown an unexpected and much appreciated lifeline to the 2020 Darwin Awards. The well-known website which describes itself as  a "salute...

Da Vinci’s ‘My Spunky Pantaloons’ sells for £45m

0
A previously unknown Leonardo da Vinci work "My Spunky Pantaloons" has been bought bought by Charles Saatchi for £45m. The jizzy kecks will be...
Trump Child

Department of Justice confirms that Trump will be tried as an adult

1
The Department of Justice has confirmed that if and when Donald Trump is indicted for colluding with Russia during the 2016 Presidential election he...

50 migrants in canoes rescued off Kent coast forced to return to UK

A search and rescue operation has recovered 50 migrants off the Kent coast, the Home Office has said. As spokesman said the Border Force had...

World now clear on just how much rope was needed for Donald Trump to...

0
The world has been quivering with excitement over President Trump's possible impeachment for some time now, like Kim Jong-Un's stubby digit over a big...

Donald Trump thrilled Belfast is throwing a parade for him

0
Donald Trump has taken time out of his busy schedule to tell reporters that he is thrilled that the people of Belfast have held...
Ferrero Roche

Nigel Farage spends £1,000 on Ferrero Rocher ‘just in case’

0
Far right stringless Thunderbird puppet and multi-millionaire Dulwich educated ex-banker and man of the people Nigel Farage reportedly bought the middle class toffees straight...

Julian Assange plans quiet Christmas at home

0
Julian Assange has confirmed that he will be having a quiet Christmas at home this year. In a telephone call Mr Assange told us,...
Melania Trump

Melania did not have sex with horrible old men for money admits Daily Mail

0
The Daily Mail have gone on the record today to say that Melania Trump did not and never has had sex with any horrible...

Gassing orphans is wrong says woman who prefers to starve them

Theresa May's regime has roundly condemned the Assad Regime's actions in Syria by saying it was wrong to use Sarin Gas on orphaned children. "It...

Greta Thunberg urges politicians to think of the planet they are leaving for Keith...

0
Greta Thunberg has urged politicians to consider the planet they are leaving for Keith Richards when making policies that affect the climate. Speaking just before...
Putin Appraisal

Trump to meet Putin in Osaka for annual appraisal

The US and Russian Governments have confirmed that Donald Trump's annual appraisal will be held in Helsinki this year on the 28th of June. The...
Donald Trump

Trump tells CNN all future press conferences will be held in Saudi Embassy

0
POTATUS has announced that he will begin to give CNN press conferences in Saudi Embassies from now on. The announcement comes as his administration complained...
International Thundercunt

Donald Trump wins ‘International Thundercunt of the Year Award’ after declaring war on children

14
President Donald Trump has been awarded the International Thundercunt of the Year Award following his decision to remove protections for young people brought into...
face palm

Turkey uses remaining irony reserves after vote to abolish democracy

0
The official Turkish news agency (prop. R. T. Erdogan) reports that in a historic vote on Sunday, the people of Turkey voted overwhelmingly in...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts