Vladimir Putin wins Russian Presidential election with 110% of the vote
Vladimir Putin will lead Russia for another six year terms after securing victory in the Russian "election" today.
With almost all of the ballots counted...
Donald Trump hires Hugo Boss to design new ‘Cabinet Uniform’
The controversial decision to hire Hugo Boss was openly discussed by The President-elect, Donald J. Trump, on Good Morning America yesterday during a catwalk...
Royal Navy ordered to kill any f*cking Frenchman who so much as looks at...
10 Downing Street has ordered the Royal Navy to kill any f*cking Frenchman who so much as looks at a British fish.
The order has...
IKEA founder funeral delayed because man won’t look at instructions
The funeral of IKEA founder Ingvar Kamprad has been delayed by several days as staff at the funeral parlour attempt to assemble his coffin....
Spanish bullfighters win inaugural Animal Cruelty World Cup
Spain’s bullfighters have won the inaugural Animal Cruelty World Cup in Brazil, narrowly beating the foxhunters of England in the final.
The competition, in...
Donald Trump to appear on Jeremy Kyle Show
Jeremy Kyle was said to be jubilant this morning after securing an exclusive appearance by Donald Trump.
The show which is titled "Five children by...
Germany to face sanctions for failing to help US during D-Day landings
Donald Trump has today announced a huge package of far reaching sanctions against Germany after discovering that Germany failed to help the US during...
Jesus definitely said ‘Suffer the little children to come unto me, so I can...
The US Vice President, Mike Pence, has told reporters that the Trump administration's policy of keeping child migrants in cages is definitely consistent with the...
Boris Johnson launches ‘Free Robert Mugabe’ campaign
The campaign is headed up by Boris Johnson who is thought to believe that if it's successful he could be the leader of Zanu...
Man with solid gold living room tells government “I don’t pay tax because you...
A man who owns a solid gold living room reportedly told one hundred million of his closest friends that he doesn't pay Tax in...
I married him for rugged good looks and winning personality claims Melania Trump
Melania Trump has gone on the record to tell the world that she married Donald Trump not for his money but his rugged good looks, winning personality and his open minded views on immigration.
Fat People Rejoice as America Turns Into a Parody of Itself
Scenes of wild jubilation, gunfire and a surfeit of 'Go Large Burgers with Extra Fries' greeted the overnight transformation of the United States of...
How do we fill workhouses with vulnerable children to “take care of” now, asks...
The Roman Catholic Church is in crisis today after Ireland voted decisively to repeal one of the world's most restrictive abortion bans.
The church is...
Boris Johnson backtracks after accidentally telling truth about Saudi Arabia
After Boris Johnson was recorded last week saying that countries such as Iran and Saudi Arabia often fight proxy wars in the Middle East...
Donald Trump is a twat, confirm G6 leaders
Leader's of the G6 have agreed on the text of a communique officially declaring that Donald Trump is a twat.
One spokesperson said, "It's been...
Shock as a US Police Department goes a whole day without shooting somebody
There was consternation across the US yesterday after the police department in Bumshart Nebrahoma went a whole day without shooting an unarmed black civilian.
Heavily...
