China celebrates start of the year of the rat with a plague
China is marking the start of the year of the rat with a global plague outbreak.
As spokesman told us, "We wanted a way of...
Daily Mail Editor to pay Melania Trump $150m with no prospect of Happy Ending
The Editor of The Daily Mail was said to be gutted at the prospect of having to pay Melania Trump millions of dollars for...
Coal prices spike on news of Katy Hopkins’ incineration
International coal prices have jumped to $120 a tonne, their highest since 2011, following news that a British court has sentenced Daily Mail columnist...
FBI reveals to Trump evidence of a golf course at Chernobyl
The FBI have allegedly revealed the location of a secret golf course in Chernobyl to Donald Trump today.
One FBI spokesman said, "POTATUS was on...
Australian Government launches plan to solve poverty by fining poor people
It has been revealed that secret meetings between the Prime Minister’s office and the Australian Federal Police has culminated in Operation Integrity, a scheme designed to push as many welfare recipients as possible, over the edge.
College Professor assaults Trump supporter
A college professor in the US has come under fire from leading figures in the Republican Party after he allegedly assaulted a number of...
Trump storms out of NATO summit after Justin Trudeau appears in orange face
Donald Trump has flounced off from a NATO summit after Justin Trudeau appeared to mock his appearance by appearing in 'orange face'.
The incident took...
Melania puts down deposit on $80 million one bedroom flat in Paris
The First Lady of the US has reportedly put an undisclosed deposit down on a small one bedroom flat worth $80,000,000 in the centre...
‘One is married to Philip’ Queen reminds Public who think Trump too racist for...
Over 1.8 million Britons have signed a petition to deny a State Visit to nylon-haired snake-oil salesman and part-time President, Donald Trump.
The petition insists...
NATO leaders issue declaration of unity against Donald Trump
NATO leaders have issued a statement of unity aimed at preserving the alliance against Donald Trump.
One spokesman said, "It may seem strange that we're...
Halloween pumpkin mistaken for President Trump
The embarrassing incident occurred after Ivanka left the pumpkin in the Oval Office. A meeting of President Trump’s closest advisors failed to realise that...
Mary and Joseph arrested for health tourism
Reports are reaching us that 2 people have been arrested in Judah on suspicion of being healthcare tourists. The pair say they are parents...
Chilcot stuns world with news that Pope is catholic
Sir John Chilcot has stunned the world by stating again that the Pope is catholic and so it seems is Britain's greatest wartime leader...
Charlie Brooker commits suicide whilst writing his 2016 Wipe
The much loved satirist repeatedly smashed his face into his own coffee table whilst reading through a draft of his hugely anticipated show.
In the...
Syrians praying for UK dog owners tonight
People across Syria are united in prayer tonight as Britain is bombarded with heavy rounds of fireworks, the worst we've seen in weeks.
"It's horrendous"...
Only a good guy with a knife can stop a bad guy with a...
The Head of the National Cutlery Association, Wayne La Cuillère, has lashed out at Donald Trump on Twitter this afternoon, after the US President...
