Fat Man on Beach

I’m not an immigrant, I’m British says Britain First supporter who lives on the...

44
When asked what he would describe himself as, as an Englishman abroad, he will usually say something like: “Im an export int I”
Sorry Trump

Trump condemns dead soldier for not standing during national anthem

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President Donald Trump has rebuked allegations of inappropriate comments made by the grieving widow of a US soldier today by pointing out her husband...

Rothschilds ‘surprised’ at Trump victory but pleased in investment in US wall building company

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The Rothschild family are set for a huge windfall following Donald Trump's 'surprise' success in the US election.

IKEA founder funeral delayed because man won’t look at instructions

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The funeral of IKEA founder Ingvar Kamprad has been delayed by several days as staff at the funeral parlour attempt to assemble his coffin....

British expats outraged as boat full of migrants wash up on their Spanish beach

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Beachgoers were surprised by the sight of dozens of migrants scrambling out of the surf today at the Playa de los Alemanes resort in...

Melania puts down deposit on $80 million one bedroom flat in Paris

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The First Lady of the US has reportedly put an undisclosed deposit down on a small one bedroom flat worth $80,000,000 in the centre...
Ladder

Trump’s view on border wall evolves after learning the word ‘ladder’

8
Donald Trump has sensationally dropped his controversial border wall plan, a key election promise, after seeing one of his Mexican labourers use a ladder for the first time.

DUP ask Merkel for one billion Euros to give her their support in Bundestag

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News broke this morning that the Northern Ireland political party, the DUP, has demanded one billion euros from Angela Merkel in order to support...
Gay Men

Gays seen boarding ark two by two in Texas saying ‘our work here is...

6
An ark has been spotted in Texas picking up a group of homosexuals who caused all the flooding there. The findings have come as a...
Priest

How do we fill workhouses with vulnerable children to “take care of” now, asks...

The Roman Catholic Church is in crisis today after Ireland voted decisively to repeal one of the world's most restrictive abortion bans. The church is...

RAF successfully destroy evidence of UK chemicals exports

Targeted strikes destroy invoices, with only minor collateral damage to Syrian accountants. RAF Bomber Command confirmed the series of raids sanctioned by the May government...

I don’t make mistakes says man who accidentally got himself elected President

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A giant orange man child who accidentally got himself elected President of the United States during a publicity stunt for his gaudy golf course business announced live on television that he doesn't make mistakes, immediately before making a mistake.
Tony Montana

Tony Montana to become new White House communications director

3
Tony Montana is set to become White House communications director following the sacking of Anthony Scaramucci today. Mr Montana was last seen toting M16A1 guns...
Muhammadu Buhari

President of corrupt shithole country to meet President of Nigeria Muhammadu Buhari

Nigerian President Muhammadu Buhari will become the first leader from sub-Saharan Africa to be received by the President of the corrupt North American tin...

North Korean media reports North Korea has won the World Cup

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North Korea has won the World Cup despite not qualifying for the tournament. At least that's what the north Korean media has said today. North...

Emergency ‘Thoughts and Prayers’ cabinets to be installed in every American classroom by 2020

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The US Department of Education has revealed plans to install emergency 'Thoughts and Prayers' cabinets in every school classroom by the year 2020. The announcement...

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