In a shock move Barack Obama has called for a total ban on racist narcissists, rapists and tax evaders from entering public office until he can figure out “what the hell is going on.”
The ban, which is in the form of an Executive Order, has been put into place with immediate effect.
A spokesman for the White House told us;
“We’ve called for a total and complete shutdown of racists, rapists, narcissists and tax evaders from entering public office until this country’s representatives can figure out what is going on.”
“Some of them have made a lot of money from public speaking, some of them have sexually assaulted dozens of women, some of them haven’t paid any tax, some of them have $650m worth of debt with a Chinese bank, some of them have sent emails and some of them are allegedly in the pocket of Putin and, I presume, some of them are good people.”
The 2016 prelude to Armageddon is set to begin in about 12 hours.
May God have mercy on all your souls.