This year’s annual scary competition is still a 3 horsemen of the apocalypse race in it’s closing stages.

Bookies are giving the Presidential election campaigns slightly higher odds as the fear of a nuclear winter of discontent looms large, perhaps whatever the outcome.

But the traditional master of fear, Halloween is still not be written off. Pumpkin sales are reportedly buoyant and parents are flocking to hire out the scariest costumes they can find. Managing director of Crazy House Fancy Dress, Nigel Scrimshaw told us:

“Walking dead costumes and corpse make up are just flying off the shelves this year. The kids love a bit of harmless tasteful fun. ”

However, not to be outdone, ISIS are hitting back with the use of human shields and talk of the mother of all battles. In an online promo vid they declare:

“Trump and Clinton are nothing to us, who have they beheaded? Our production of the dead and maimed far outstrips anything those kids can imitate in fancy dress. Although we are still working on our zombies. “