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Chris King

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End of the World Predicted this month. For the Third Time

End of the World Predicted this month. For the Third Time. This time conspiracy theorists have predicted that, on 23 September, there will be a...

Prince Harry condemned for turning up to fancy dress party dressed as Paul Hollywood

The world had thought that William's half-brother and something-or-other in line to the throne's days of causing controversy were over. But today, a new...
Katie Hopkins

Poisonous snake first to leave I’m A Celebrity after failing to overcome fear of...

The program known for subjecting contestants to creepy crawlies, scary animals and filthy challenges is facing a crisis after it has emerged that none...
Angry man

People who say Nazis were socialists to lose human status

The UN has today confirmed that anyone who says Nazis were socialist are to lose human status, joining holocaust deniers in the shortlist of...
Police Car

Police called after black man beats the snot out of white guy live on...

Police were called to an address in Las Vegas earlier this morning after reports of a white man beaten senseless in an organised fight....

Hurricane Harvey considered least destructive 2020 presidential candidate

In an attempt to win back votes from the orange-painted tweeting shitangutan, the Democrats have turned to Hurricane Harvey to stand as their candidate...
Trump Flag

I’ve just made a life size jelly of Donald Trump, I fear I may...

“You have to send help.” Dr Thump implored the emergency operator. “If this jelly gets out of my fridge there is no telling what it will do. It might start a nuclear war or worse.”

Health scare over psychotic illness which only infects BMW OWNERS!!!

Doctors at Central Rochdale Asylum for Psychosis have issued a health warning over a virus which only infects BMW owners. Doctors have, however, begun...
Cave Painting

Before the ‘Iron Age’ everything was just creased, confirm anthropologists

A team of anthropologists and archaeologists from Rochdale Community College announced their exciting revelation about our ancestors on Thursday. They have confirmed that, before...
Sunshine

Panic on the streets of Rochdale as glowing hot yellow thing appears in the...

Panic has hit the streets of Rochdale today as a unidentified glowing hot yellow glowing orb has appeared in the sky. Terrified Rochdale residents yesterday...
Wasps

Wasps are little shits, confirm scientists

After years of study, it has finally been confirmed by scientists from the Special Training Institute North Grimsby, that wasps serve no useful purpose...
Corbyn

UK in shock after Corbyn refuses to answer trick question

Big news! Corbyn, asked if the UK will leave the EU “come hell or high water” if he becomes PM, refused 6 times to...

Marines B, C, D, E, F & G escape court martial by not forgetfully...

Today Marine B was quietly reflecting on the time he shot a badly wounded prisoner of war in Helmand. No one else ever heard about...

Theresa May to open new Ministry of Silly Bans

Prime Minister Theresa May has announced a new Ministry of Silly Bans, to be set up immediately. The job of the new department will be to...

Man begins month long quest to get fit

In a determined effort, this time (yes, this time it's for real, not like the other times) Simon Lardon, single, of Sheffield, has given...

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