Prime Minister Theresa May has announced a new Ministry of Silly Bans, to be set up immediately.

The job of the new department will be to intently copy stupid American ideas about what to ban. Its first success has been the pointless ban of laptops on flights from certain middle eastern countries.

J. Obsworth, head of the department, hailed the new ban as a success despite the fact that it is common knowledge that implementing a ban on computers will be about as much use as a chocolate teapot. After all, if you could use a laptop as a weapon of terror, you could just as easily use a mobile phone (most of which are excluded from the ban).

Furthermore, frothing mouthed xenophobic fuckmonkeys with one brain cell to share and a vast amount of time to post utter stupidity on social media hailed the strategically backward and tactically senseless move of applying restrictions only to flights from certain countries.

Obsworth added “it’s all about getting at dirty foreigners, especially ones who don’t believe in the resurrection, which is the Prime Minister’s key new test to discover heretics, er terrorists. All in all, it’s a massive success for the regressive politics the government has sought to implement across the board.”

Theresa May, the puritan who famously voted to ban dancing on a Sunday, was not available for comment, but let’s be honest, who wants to hear yet another megalomaniacal religious zealot’s view, who copies the orangufascist, even if it is the voice of the so called Prime Minister.