A team of anthropologists and archaeologists from Rochdale Community College announced their exciting revelation about our ancestors on Thursday. They have confirmed that, before the ‘iron age’ everything was just creased.

We managed to speak to Professor Gisella Stone, who led the team, and she explained the importance of the find to us. “With this discovery, we really get to have archaic, and eat it. The iron was the biggest discovery since a caveman thought ‘we need to talk’. Or, perhaps the wheel. The team keeps going around in circles about this, to be honest.”

Indeed, anthropologists believe that, although the original inventors now rust in peace, it was not until the discovery of sliced bread that such a benchmark was set for human-kind.
This is not the only find made by the team, who delved into the lives of our pre-hysterical ancestors. Stone also explained that the team had uncovered the history of cavemen, and that their favourite pastime was going clubbing.

We have also discovered that their favourite music was rock music.

It was not all celebrations for the University, however; as the archaeology department became bankrupt. They had to let all their staff go, and now their careers are all in ruins.

Stone explained to us that they plan to keep chipping away. The team is now preparing to move to Greece, in an attempt to revive their fortunes. They will be studying rumours that the ancient Greeks actually had fully functional cinemas. Stone excitedly explained “we heard that the biggest blockbuster hit of the classical era was Troy Story.”