The Secret Service, the department responsible for the security of the US President, has taken steps to distance themselves from Donald Trump’s Twitter account.
“Trump is an unusual case for a President. We’ve asked him if he’ll at least turn off location services on his Twitter but he won’t. I don’t think he realises that there are literally tens of thousands of people in the world who’d like to kill any US President let alone this racist fuckpuddle.” Secret Service Agent James Wilkes Oswald told The Herald.
“If he’s going to tweet insults at people who live in a country where you can buy a machine gun in a supermarket then it’s going to make protecting him really dangerous.”
Secret Service Agents have taken steps to distance themselves from the danger posed by Trump’s Twitter account by standing at least 25 feet away from Donald at all times.
“I think 25 feet will give the impression we give a shit about Donald but make it really unlikely one of us might accidentally take a bullet for him.”