The US and Russian Governments have confirmed that Donald Trump’s annual appraisal will be held in Helsinki this year on the 28th of June.
The White House issued a statement that said, “After much haggling the meeting between POTATUS and Putin will be held in Osaka. POTATUS is hoping the meeting will go well and Mr Putin will take him off the employee improvement programme that POTATUS was place on last year. In no way is this POTATUS annual appraisal. It is a summit.”
Details of what will be discussed are yet to be released but it is thought they will spend a great deal of time discussing the Russian collusion that they both deny happened. POTATUS is planning on making it clear that there is no collusion by doing everything in his power to help the Russian Government. He may even lift sanctions.
It’s understood that Osaka was chosen because of its proximity to Russia. Mr Putin will be able to fly there in the aeroplane he bought using funds he definitely didn’t embezzle. It’s also understood that the proximity of Osaka to Russia means it will be easy to get some prostitutes into the country in order that they pee on POTATUS.
It’s understood that both leaders will meet for a meal in a local pizza restaurant and then go to see the Russian nationalist band, Dimitry Donskoi.
Both sides have denied allegations by Nigel Farage that Nigel Farage will be attending. It’s understood that Mr Putin is openly contemptuous of Mr Farage’s Russian. He often refers to Mr Farage as a false Dimitry.
