Julian Assange

Julian Assange unveils plans to have quiet weekend in front of the TV

Julian Assange has tonight been giving a speech outlining his plans for the weekend. Mr Assange who, was told today by a Swedish prosecutor that rape charges have been dropped made the speech outside the Ecuadorian embassy. In...

Sean Spicer announces Foetuses included in Trump Travel Ban

Within the last hour the White House has announced plans to extend its controversial travel ban to unborn foetuses.  Trump’s Press Secretary, Sean Spicer, confirmed that the extension will be in place by Monday afternoon and will apply...
Katy Hopkins dressed as Virgin Mary

Coal prices spike on news of Katy Hopkins’ incineration

International coal prices have jumped to $120 a tonne, their highest since 2011, following news that a British court has sentenced Daily Mail columnist and professional right wing bigot, Katy Hopkins to be burned...

Ryanair cancels all flights to Russia

Ryanair have announced today that it is cancelling all flights to Russia in 2018. The move that will be affecting almost no Irish passengers between June and July next year. The low-cost airline described the...
Trump Atos

Atos and DWP pronounce Trump unfit for work

A physical and mental health Atos assessment on US President, Donald J Trump, has conclusively found that he is unfit for work, the DWP confirmed today. The Atos assessment, leaked to the Herald, showed that...

Trump says crying widow knew what she was getting into when she answered phone

President Donald Trump has responded to criticism that he mishandled a phone call with the grieving widow of an American serviceman killed in an ambush in Niger by saying she's making it all up...

The Australian Federal Opposition has called for a Royal Commission into Royal Commissions

In an extraordinary turn of events in Australia Opposition Immigration Minister Aidan Androyd has declared the "necessity for this Royal Commission." "Well, I tried to implement a Royal Commission into the treatment of asylum seekers...
A delighted Sun Reader

Sun says Trump not nonce as he checks girls teeth before ‘dating’ 

Sun Readers thrilled Donald Trump acquitted of raping 13 year old after convincing judge she "had teeth of 21 year old."
Donald Trump

Donald Trump calls for a ban on schools after latest US school shooting

So-called 'President' and full-time Twitter troll Donald Trump wants a 'total and complete shutdown' of schools in the US after the Florida School shooting earlier today. Donald Trump, the leading contender for biggest dickhead on the...
Ivanka and Donald Trump

Donald Trump ends democracy in America

I’ve decided Ivanka will come after me. I mean, she’s hot, and she has my gift with politics, so she’s the perfect choice

Cheap Nutella latest in long list of things French will riot about

Sweetened hazelnut cocoa spread joins all the other things the frogs are hopping mad about News broke this week that the French, yes, that lot over there with le hoh hee hoh hee hoh, have...

Specsavers Official Sponsors Of WWIII

Specsavers has announced it has signed a two-year deal as official sponsors of the forthcoming World War Three, with effect from mid November. The company beat off stiff competition from other brands keen to associate...

Trump asking his people to crack the nuclear codes in case he needs to...

‘I hope POTUS has his best people working on cracking the nuclear codes in case we go to war with that crazy man in Canada.’

Patriotic Brexiteer spends £60M on Singapore homes after saving £60M in UK Corporation Tax

Patriotic billionaire Brexiteer, Singapore resident and tax exile James Dyson has just bought a £26M bungalow in Singapore weeks after buying a Penthouse in Singapore for £43M. "Brexit is going to be brilliant for UK...

Child struggling with his job watches a kid with a lawnmower

A child struggling to do his job took time out of his day to watch a kid push a lawn mower at the White House the other day.

Having dodgy dealings with corrupt foreign dictators is only bad when Hillary does it,...

Having Dodgy dealings with corrupt foreign dictators is only a bad thing when it is done by the likes of Hillary Clinton, Fox News announced today. In their official statement, Fox News stated categorically that...

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