Surprised Santa

Santa to be denied entry to U.K. under proposed points system

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Santa is to be denied entry to the UK under the new points based immigration system. A Home Office spokesman told us, "The system...
Syrian Children

Syrian children launch crowdfunding campaign to help those affected by KFC crisis

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Children from the Syrian city of Damascus have launched a campaign to help those affected by the ongoing KFC chicken shortage. In a video posted...
Kim Jong Un Submarine

M.A.S.H. theme “Suicide is Painless” to be covered in gangnam style by Kim Jong-un

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State media sources inside The Democratic People’s Republic of North Korea shouted the news this morning that Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un is to release...

Netanyahu accidentally condemns use of phosphorous based weapons on children

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This week video footage of a possible chemical weapons attack on civilians, including children has emerged.  The footage shows men and children frothing at the mouth, whilst...

World now clear on just how much rope was needed for Donald Trump to...

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The world has been quivering with excitement over President Trump's possible impeachment for some time now, like Kim Jong-Un's stubby digit over a big...
Toxic Sign

Trump gives a shot in the arm to 2020 Darwin Awards

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President Donald Trump has thrown an unexpected and much appreciated lifeline to the 2020 Darwin Awards. The well-known website which describes itself as  a "salute...
Boy with toy machine gun isolated on a white background

That’s how you know you’ve fucked up No.72. Mass Shootings a Daily Occurence

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America, land of the brave and home of the free as well as Donald Trump & Charles Manson, hit an important milestone this week....
Pathologist

Not being liked by Vladimir Putin IS natural causes, confirms coroner

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The UK police have admitted that perhaps they had jumped to a hasty conclusion after coroners concluded that a Russian businessman who strangled himself...
Belgian Beer

Belgian brewers threaten budget busting Brexit blackmail beer price boost

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The world’s biggest beer company, Belgium based Anheuser-Busch Inbev warned Monday that the drop in value of Sterling in the wake of the UK's...
Westboro Baptist Church

Westboro Baptist Churchgoers saddened by news that God actually hates FAQ’s

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Congregation of famously homophobic church disheartened to learn that The Almighty is 'proper hacked off with being asked the same dumb shit over and...
Donald Trump

Trump attends Paris Armistice commemoration after hearing there is a golf course nearby

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POTATUS has attended an Armistice commemoration in Paris a day after demonstrating the sort of spirit that has earned him the nickname, Cadet Bone...
Donald Trump

Dictator of country full of gullible starving peasants to meet Kim Jong Un

The ludicrous dictator of a crackpot banana republic full of gullible half starved peasants is to meet with the leader of North Korea, it...

King Joffrey to perform Iain Duncan Smith knighting ceremony

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Joffrey I Baratheon, King of the Andals and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms and Protector of the Realm is to perform...

Rogue State Threatens World Peace By Threatening To Totally Destroy North Korea

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A rogue nation, governed by a lunatic, could be about to start a nuclear war on North Korea. The country, known in its native tongue...
Donald Trump DNA

US achieves 100% employment after Twitter forced to fact check Trump tweets

Donald Trump has achieved the biggest turnaround in US unemployment figures ever after Twitter was forced to recruit fact checkers to fact check his...
Steve Bannon

Crazy bastard calls crazy bastard a crazy bastard

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A crazy bastard who works in the White House has accused a former employee of being a crazy bastard. The crazy bastard apparently "disavowed' the...

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