Malaysian PM offers Greg Wallace out for a scrap over “crispy” rendang remark

Chef John Torode and "diner" Greg Wallace, presenters of BBC's Masterchef, managed to piss the populations of two countries off this week by criticising Malaysian-born contestant Zaleha Kadir Olpin's rendang curry because the "chicken...

For the last time, Trump is nothing like Hitler. Hitler fought in a...

If Hitler had practiced golf as much as Trump, maybe he'd have made it out of the bunker Donald J. Trump, the four times decorated draft dodge veteran, is in no way like Hitler. This...
Harvey Weinstein

Harvey Weinstein secures Republican 2020 Presidential Nomination

Harvey Weinstein has officially been nominated by the Republican Party as their candidate to contest the 2020 Presidential Election. Mr Weinstein gained support from a majority of delegates, despite being a Democrat, a former close...
Calendar

Latest theory on the structure of the Gregorian calendar revealed.

Following alleged intense research on the part of our Ace reporter, The Rochdale Herald is able to reveal the latest acadamic theory surrounding the construction of Gregorian Calendar. Professor Archimest Binge, of the Rochdale University,...

Idiot dies in Karmic Avalanche

An idiot died in an avalanche of Karma in the town of Teruel in Aragon, Spain, yesterday. Victor Barrio (29), having spent the last 9 years of his adult life torturing large animals for fun...

Farage takes on Eurovision

In a shock move today, the rubber faced, racist, people's champion Nigel Farage has announced his intentions to represent Great Britain in next year's Eurovision Song Contest . Herr Farage, who has been a long...
Geert Wilders

World “back on track” after Dutch non-Nazi gets 20% of the vote

World leaders have rushed to hail the Dutch general election as the turning point in the history of civilisation. With the rising tide of global populism, the election of Donald Duck as United States...

The only chemicals you can kills kids with are high explosives and white phosphorus,...

Following the outcry over the alleged chemical weapons attacks in Syria, the Pentagon have confirmed that the only legal chemicals you can use to kill children are high explosives and white phosphorus. “We’ve been happily...
Ivanka and Donald Trump

Ivanka says: I Could Be The Pretty President After G20 Power Play

Speculation is rife in Washington D.C. that Ivanka Trump is pondering throwing her hat in the ring for the 2020 Presidential election circus.    After taking President Daddy Trump's seat at the top table during...

How do you solve a problem like Korea?

The world is on the edge of its seat awaiting the next exchange between President of The United Hates of Americaland, Donald J Trump, and communist dictator and universally acknowledged fucktard, Kim Jong Un. With...
Vladimir

Plucky underdog wins Russian Presidential election against all odds

Vladimir 'Don't call this a comeback, I've been here before' Putin has surprised not only the people but himself by winning the race to the Kremlin after capturing over 110% of the vote in...
Scaramucci

I only just learned how to spell Scaramucci and he’s been fucking fired, complains...

A highly paid and widely syndicated satirist has complained about the firing of the White House Head of Communications Antony Scarymuchly, as he’s only just learned how to spell Scarrimoochme. “It’s bad enough that this...

UKIP leader calls for Theresa May to resign

UKIP's leader, Vladimir Putin has called on Theresa May to call a General Election to ensure a Government is elected that will push Brexit through. The President of the United States took time out from...
Angela Merkel

Merkel Pulls Out of EU Security Council Talks as There’s No German Word for...

Angela Merkel broke off talks with the EU's British Security Commissioner this week that were about the worsening crisis affecting the free movement of people.

International Olympics Comittee ‘really surprised’ by Russian doping

More than 1000 Russian athletes have been implicated as drug cheats by a report today. The Rochdale Herald asks "Only 1000. Really?" At least 30 sports including football have been subject to a state sponsored...
Golden eagle

Birds of Prey sue rock band the Eagles

In a landmark case the popular American rock band The Eagles are being sued by a flock of birds for use of the band's name. The Eagles, who won a Grammy for their album Hotel...

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