Trump

Trump restores American faith in Bush

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Donald Trump has today been credited with restoring America's faith in Bush. Dwayne Dwight of Alabama told the Herald "I was big into Bush in...

Terrorists rejoice at lower energy bills as Jihadis unplug TVs

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Terrorists worldwide are saving money on their energy bills as millions of Jihadis unplug their Samsung smart TVs from mains sockets. The move comes after...

Saying racists shouldn’t say racist things is racist against racists, Trump tells Democrats

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Donald Trump has taken Twitter to defend the rights of racists across America to say and do really racist things. "Racists are a minority just...

Clinton Email Cache Found in Historic Exeter Hotel

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The American election process was thrown into confusion yesterday when the FBI moved into the Royal Clarence Hotel, Exeter, in search of a hidden...

Canada recognises the Alamo as capital of Mexico

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Donald Trump has given a calm and measured response to news that Canada intends to move it's Mexican embassy to the Alamo. Just kidding. Trump...
White House

Reality TV to blame for increase in number of f*cknuggets being elected president, say...

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Reality TV is to blame for the number of imbeciles and ding-a-lings who are being elected president of the United States, video games have...

Aussies can stay in Scotland

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Gregg and Kathryn Brian and their son were given a last minute reprieve from being deported back to Australia from Scotland if Mrs Brian...
Trump Flag

All soldiers know what they are signing up for, that’s why I dodged the...

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The West Wing has been forced to defend President Trump against malicious disinformation about his health and state of mind for months. Allegations about his...

Obama rushed to hospital after biting through lip during Trump press conference

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President Barack Obama was rushed to hospital yesterday after sustaining injuries during a press conference. Herald reporter Scott McCracknee was there and describes what happened. "Mr...
Katie Hopkins

Katie Hopkins killed and eaten by starving migrants

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Mail Online columnist Katie Hopkins' plan to drown migrants attempting to cross the Mediterranean to prevent them coming to the UK has been put...
Vladimir

Plucky underdog wins Russian Presidential election against all odds

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Vladimir 'Don't call this a comeback, I've been here before' Putin has surprised not only the people but himself by winning the race to...
Gigantic Sky Penis

US Navy confirms gigantic sky penis ‘not aimed at any particular President’

US Navy officials have said that the penis drawn in the sky by one of their pilots using a fighter jet's contrails was absolutely...

Trump says crying widow knew what she was getting into when she answered phone

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President Donald Trump has responded to criticism that he mishandled a phone call with the grieving widow of an American serviceman killed in an...

Trump asks to buy Greenland after hearing it is actually white

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President Trump has indicated his strong interest in buying Greenland from the Danish.  The move has shocked US analysts as it comes just weeks...
Police

US Police Report Record Start to Season After “Glorious Twelfth”

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US Police are have reported a record start to the Season after the traditional start to the Civilian Shooting Season with Tulsa leading the...

“I wasn’t wanking, I was self-isolating.” Paris Mayor candidate caught on video.

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Benjamin Griveaux dropped out of the race to become the next Mayor of Paris after video emerged appearing to show him making love to...

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