Reverse-only cars to propel American manufacturing forward

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It has been revealed that the Donald Trump administration plans to revitalise America’s former manufacturing heartland – the Rust Belt – with production of...

ISIS claim extended warranty back on their washing machine

As the days pass and we see more and more terror attacks throughout the world, even though some aren't called that by the media...
Scaramucci

Trump Fan Can Go – Scaramucci sacked as new White House Communications Director –...

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He’s just a rich boy, didn’t give a fuck about anybody. Easy come, easy go, we guess. In disappointing news for fans of the White...

Your 60 second news round-up

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Here's The Rochdale Herald's round-up of today's important news headlines: - UKIP leader's girlfriend is a nasty little racist - Nicola Sturgeon backs a second Scottish...
Red and green nebula

Trump Election Due To Cosmic Emissions Says Brian Cox

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Professor Brian Cox has explained the recent election of Donald Trump by pointing to a rare stellar phenomenon. The Oldham-but-not-Rochdale born scientist explained:- "On the 9th...

People of Aleppo not quite white enough

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European leaders have come together to stress how upset they are that the people of Aleppo have ever so slightly funny coloured skin and...

Breaking: The person trespassing on the White House has been revealed as Nigel Farage

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A spokesperson for White House Security has just confirmed that the intruder apprehended today was Nigel Farage. Mr. Farage was promptly arrested after scaling the...
Donald Trump DNA

US achieves 100% employment after Twitter forced to fact check Trump tweets

Donald Trump has achieved the biggest turnaround in US unemployment figures ever after Twitter was forced to recruit fact checkers to fact check his...
Putin MAGA

Putin has confirmed he will run for second term as President of United States

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After his self proclaimed "success with that bloated orange puppet" Vladimir Putin has announced that he will seek to control him in a second...
Donald Trump

President Trump wins golf tournament with hole in one on final difficult windmill

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Donald Trump has begun his seventeen day summer vacation on a high after winning an international competition at his private golf course in New...

Short range nuclear missiles made available to American public in bid to reduce gun...

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Following a series of atrocities in the United States over the weekend in which more than twenty five members of the public were shot...
Kardashian

Aleppo Children launch crowdfunding campaign to replace Kim Kardashian jewellery

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Children in Aleppo have called for an official Day of Mourning as they grieve in solidarity with the Kardashian family for the loss of...

Obama calls for ban on rapists and racists from entering public office

In a shock move Barack Obama has called for a total ban on racist narcissists, rapists and tax evaders from entering public office until he can figure out "what the hell is going on."
Obama and Biden

Obama and Biden spend last afternoon playing ‘hide the turd’ at White House

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Outgoing President and his VP Joe Biden have spent their last afternoon in office playing 'hide the turd' in The White House.

Saudi woman celebrates being able to drive to friends stoning

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A Saudi woman has been telling the Rochdale Herald how she's looking forward to being allowed to drive to the stoning of a woman...

Bad guys with guns get more practice complain good guys with guns

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Good guys with guns in America went on the record this morning to complain they're unfairly getting a bad reputation after failing to prevent the 2078th successive mass shooting since 2,000.

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