Director of CIA asks Jason Bourne to drop in on Trump for a ‘quiet...
The Director of The CIA, John O'Brennan, asked Jason Bourne to pop over to Trump Tower.
Following allegations Donald Trump made about the US intelligence...
Donald Trump tests positive for IQ-19
Despite being the healthiest individual ever elected to the Presidency, reports are emerging that Donald Trump has tested positive for IQ-19.
Harold Bornstein, Trump's former...
Britain threatens Russia with visit from Boris Johnson
There were extraordinary scenes in Parliament today as Boris Johnson spoke about the suspected poisoning of Sergei Skripal.
Mr Johnson said, "If Russian involvement is...
Liam Fox Seeks Trade Deal With ISIS
International Trade Secretary Liam Fox will fly into Iraq later today in the hope of securing a trade deal with the so-called 'Islamic State'.
Fox...
Trump joins Time Magazine “Person of the Year” club
In a move in keeping with the utter shit show that has been 2016, Time Magazine has named the orange baboon Donald Trump "Person...
We need buoyancy aids not Beyonce aid, say Houston flood victims
Residents of Houston were bemused by an offer from pop star Beyonce offering help for those affected by the recent flooding.
“We asked for buoyancy...
What could possibly go wrong, asks West
Western leaders have suggested that nothing could possibly go wrong by attacking Syria and this time will definitely be different to Iraq, Afghanistan and...
Condoms are a commie liberal plot to give everybody AIDS according to Trump VP
Revelations of comments made by Donald Trump's running mate, the 'Caucasian Executioner of Indiana', Mike Pence show that Governor Pence might not know how...
Quackpot fundamentalist and friend of dictators finally canonised by paedophiles
Mother Theresa of Calcutta became Saint Theresa yesterday in a small ceremony in the Vatican. Saint Theresa, who passed through Rochdale on her way...
Santa to be denied entry to U.K. under proposed points system
Santa is to be denied entry to the UK under the new points based immigration system.
A Home Office spokesman told us, "The system...
Trump defuses “alt facts” row by appointing Humpty Dumpty as Secretary of State for...
US President Donald Trump today moved to defuse the smouldering row over the 'alternative facts' presented by his media counsellor Kellyanne Conway, by appointing fictional Alice-Through-the-Looking-Glass...
South African Scientist Discovers Free Non-Polluting Energy Source
Imagine the scenario: you are in a pub, when a local starts spouting racist nonsense. You have an overwhelming desire to stand up and...
Trump to play 25 rounds of golf in honour of Texan dead
Donald Trump has defended a decision to play 25 rounds of golf in Japan saying it's in honour of the dead in Texas.
The gesture...
We tried democracy and frankly it’s not for us, Spanish government tells voters
The Prime Minister of Spain has told voters that democracy isn't for them and it refuses to recognise the result of a referendum on...
Thoughts and prayers shortages in US reaching crisis point
Shortages of thoughts and prayers for the victims of gun violence is said to be reaching crisis point this morning with many dead people...
Australian PM Turnbull Reaffirms his Compassionate Commitment to Offshore Detention
Last night’s Four Corners program on asylum seekers held on Nauru, elicited an angry response from the Nauruan government, who accused the ABC of racism.




















































