Kardashian

Aleppo Children launch crowdfunding campaign to replace Kim Kardashian jewellery

0
Children in Aleppo have called for an official Day of Mourning as they grieve in solidarity with the Kardashian family for the loss of...
Corbyn

Corbyn finally condemns Chavez ‘He didn’t shoot enough rich people, happy now?’

9
In a statement from the Department of People's Truth, Jeremy Corbyn "has not bowed to pressure of the Western lapdog media but instead led...

Donald Trump is a twat, confirm G6 leaders

Leader's of the G6 have agreed on the text of a communique officially declaring that Donald Trump is a twat. One spokesperson said, "It's been...
water cannon

German Police deploy hydration wagons to cool off crowd outside G20 summit

14
Police in Hamburg Germany have deployed Mobile Hydration Wagons in an effort to cool down overheated and thirsty crowds gathered out side the G20...

Thanks Mahmut. Inventor of Donner Kebab Dies Aged 87

0
The man who invented the doner kebab has died. Mahmut Aygun, was suffering from cancer and died in Berlin at the age of 87. Known as...
Hugh Hefner

Playboy Bunnies surprised to find Hugh Hefner stiffer than usual

55
Notorious Bachelor and soft core pornographer Hugh Hefner was pronounced dead this morning at his home, the Playboy Mansion, Los Angeles. Early reports indicate that...

Eric Trump banned from All-Valley Championships after breaking Daniel Larusso’s leg

0
There was fresh controversy in the Trump camp this morning as allegations emerged of cheating in the All-Valley Karate Championships. In a blow to the...
Harvey Weinstein

Harvey Weinstein one step closer to presidency after filing for bankruptcy

0
The New York studio co-founded by disgraced film producer Harvey Weinstein is to file for bankruptcy, in a move sure to put him a...
Trump Golf

Scientists confirm Donald Trump’s ego and waistline are inflating at an alarming rate

0
Scientists have today confirmed that, President of the United States, Donald Trump is inflating at an alarming rate. On his Inauguration Day on 20th...
angry old woman

Islamic State recruitment in crisis after Imam reveals martys actually get nineteen 72 year...

18
Islamic State have revealed they've had to enlist the help of a management consultancy company, Sunni side of the street, following a drop in...

Oscar winning director Jonathan Demme dies aged 73

0
Oscar winning director Jonathan Demme has died aged 73. Filmmaker Jonathan Demme, whose Oscar-winning thriller "The Silence of the Lambs" terrified audiences and introduced...

Scandal as Trump attempts to circumvent physical laws

0
In his bid to become master of the universe, Donald Trump has postulated a new set of axioms about the physical universe as we...
Donald Trump

Worst thing to happen in America today was my hair got wet, Trump tells...

0
The actual real life president of the United States of America told the Future Farmers of America Convention that the worst thing to happen...

Cheap Nutella latest in long list of things French will riot about

0
Sweetened hazelnut cocoa spread joins all the other things the frogs are hopping mad about News broke this week that the French, yes, that lot...

It’s not nepotism it’s just a coincidence he’s my son-in-law says Trump

9
World breathes a collective sigh of relief as journalist who met Jared Kuschner claims “he should make you feel more comfortable”.
Donald Trump DNA

US achieves 100% employment after Twitter forced to fact check Trump tweets

Donald Trump has achieved the biggest turnaround in US unemployment figures ever after Twitter was forced to recruit fact checkers to fact check his...

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