Heavily armed men in masks carrying clubs burn homes in Northern France
A large group of heavily armed men carrying clubs and guns attacked and burned the homes of several thousand people in Northern France yesterday...
Monkey spanking decriminalised in Italy
A man known only as Pietro L was charged with a public disorder offence earlier this year after being caught choking his chorizo on...
Bear Cancels Plan To Shit In Woods
Bryan Pickle, an unemployed brown bear, interrupted a meeting at The National History Museum this morning to make a surprise announcement.
"I've been thinking about...
Playboy bunnies to be re-homed at The Whitehouse
After the sad passing of millionaire feminist Hugh (the Hef) Hefner the dilemma of what to do with the dozens of now ownerless and...
Trump says he believes Melania’s explanation that she didn’t only marry him for his...
Donald Trump has said that he believes that Melania Trump married him for his rugged good looks, sublime conversation and attentive tenderness as a...
Trump Perfected Curtsy For Saudi King Salman
Donald Trump's impeachment looked ever more certain in the last few days after images were released of him curtsying before King Salman of Saudi...
Trump loses grip on reality, demands to be new Dr Who.
US President Donald Trump has called on the BBC to appoint him as the new Dr Who.
In a series of tweets at 3am this...
Angela Merkel to meet Theresa May to tell her to piss off in person
Angela Merkel, the German Chancellor, is due to meet with Theresa May later today to spit in her face and tell her to piss...
Russia and China back UN call for Kim Jong Un to be sent to...
The UN has finally received the backing of both Mummy and Daddy as Russia and China backed the call for serious punishment to be...
Turkey uses remaining irony reserves after vote to abolish democracy
The official Turkish news agency (prop. R. T. Erdogan) reports that in a historic vote on Sunday, the people of Turkey voted overwhelmingly in...
Hammond to Create National Hoard
In advance of Brexit negotiations Phillip Hammond is to bury all of the country's wealth in a hole in the ground.
The hole, believed to...
German Police deploy hydration wagons to cool off crowd outside G20 summit
Police in Hamburg Germany have deployed Mobile Hydration Wagons in an effort to cool down overheated and thirsty crowds gathered out side the G20...
AMERICANS! How to maximize media outrage over your kid’s devastating school-murder. – Rochdale Herald...
In the not too distant past, school shootings were the stuff of tabloid dreams, but in a post Sandy Hook world, the circumstances of...
“We’re looking forward to getting out” say nuclear weapons.
Nuclear weapons all over the world are today looking forward to their upcoming launch as an opportunity to stretch their legs.
With launch codes about...
Alcoholics Anonymous of America add 13th Step – Don’t Fucking Bother
After 63 years of success Alcoholics Anonymous of America have added a 13th Step to their eponymous programme - Step 13: Don't Fucking Bother.
The...
James Bond producers buzzing about Putin’s Cold War reboot
The producers of the James Bond movie franchise are said to be absolutely over the moon about Vladimir Putin's recent decision to reboot the Cold War.
