Thoughts and prayers shortages in US reaching crisis point
Shortages of thoughts and prayers for the victims of gun violence is said to be reaching crisis point this morning with many dead people...
We’re going to build a wall and America is going to pay for it...
There was outrage across the United States this afternoon after the President of Mexico said "fuck this shit" and vowed to close the border...
Liam Fox Announces Trade Deal With Iraq
Liam Fox, Secretary of State For International Trade, has followed up the success of his charm offensive with Duterte, the leader of the Philippines...
The Middle East starts packing as Blair hints at return to politics
The Oxford English definition of irony, former Middle East Peace Envoy, Tony Blair, suggested a political return may be on the cards in a...
Donald Trump Is Disappearing Up His Own Arse
American scientists confirmed last night that US President, Donald Trump, is close to completely disappearing up his own arse.
Professor Steven Sigmoid...
NASA announce Kellyanne Conway is not of this world
NASA has announced it will hold a press conference later this week to reveal new discoveries "of significant importance, "beyond our solar system".
The agency...
British Fascists upset that UK Government won’t appease Foreign Fascist Dictator
A wealthy British Fascist today took to criticising the British Government for refusing to appease the United States' first elected authoritarian fascist dictator by appointing renowned fascist Nigel Farage as British Ambassador to the US.
Harvey Weinstein one step closer to presidency after filing for bankruptcy
The New York studio co-founded by disgraced film producer Harvey Weinstein is to file for bankruptcy, in a move sure to put him a...
Trump supporter accidentally extinguishes trainers with own tears
"Wild" Bill Board, an American protesting at an advert for trainers was unable to get his shoes to burn today because the tears he...
Man with record of making unproveable and unsubstantiated claims claims something unproveable and unsubstantiated
Serial unproveable and unsubstantiated claim maker Anthony Gilberthorpe, 54, has come to the defence of serial gropist Donald Trump.
The ‘J’ is for Genius, confirms Donald J Trump
Washington - The actual real life President of the United States of America Donald J Trump has cleared up speculation over the weekend about...
Mysterious fanged sea creature that washed up on Texas beach identified as Steve Bannon
The large fanged, faceless sea creature that washed up on a southeastern Texas beach following Hurricane Harvey has finally been identified.
The identity of the...
Democratic Democrats protest against anti-democratic democracy
Protesters smashed windows and turned violent in Oregon and a few other places last night.
“Trump is anti-democratic!” yelled the crowd protesting against the man...
Police fear French blogger killed in whipped cream accident may have topped herself
The international irony reservoir was overflowing this week as news came through that French lifestyle and fitness blogger, Becky Fromage-Burger, was slain in her...
‘What happened on Alderaan was terrible but I condemn the violence done by all...
Obi Wan Kenobi, under pressure from Yoda and other members of the ghost Jedi Council to condemn the destruction of Alderaan, has issued a...
Stop calling people cocks you dick, White House HR Department tells Anthony Scaramucci
The White House HR Department has asked their latest recruit Anthony Scaramucci, the new White House Communications Director, to please, please, please stop calling...
