Due to White House budget cuts, an experienced but cheap actor was selected for the part. Bit part “character actor” Rowle Player is best known for his recurring role as Third Klingon in Star Trek Enterprise.

His experience of wearing grotesque make up and making aggressive statements in a guttural voice made him ideal for the part. The word “covfefe” has finally been explained. Player, a semi-serious student ofthe Method school, reveals that covfefe is actually a Klingon battle cry, and that he momentarily slipped into character when tweeting hungover one morningat 3 o’clock.

Player reportedly thought that ‘getting off Air Force one’ and ‘getting into a car’were going to be filmed separately, hence his apparent confusion. “I am still getting used to doing things right on the first take,” he said.  The White House’s budget was seriously depleted after employing Samuel LJackson to play POTUS 44 for eight years. Jackson has been nominated for a Best Actor Oscar for his saccharine portrayal of competent, caring President Barack Obama.

The ghost of Ronald Reagan is reportedly delighted with his modern day presidential successor. “Player is most definitely channelling my spirit,”Reagan’s ghost wailed from an abandoned mansion built on a Native American burial ground. “And a touch of Dubya, too. Nice!”

Johnny Depp has declined to play the President, claiming the role was insufficiently challenging. The White House issued a statement to the effect that Depp would be welcome to audition asap, no in fact just turn up and the job’s yours. Please!

Kevin Bacon has frequently auditioned for the role, but has been turned down every time due to “artistic differences”.