Donald Trump has started a Twitter row with Kim Jong Un over the size of their missiles.

Kim had yesterday claimed he possesses a missile so big it can reach all the way to America. In response Trump said on Twitter, “Look at my missile. Is that a small missile? I can hit you from here Kim.”

Mr Trump is so passionate about his missile being bigger he’s even engaged Rochdale college’s own Frederick Seddon. Seddon told us, “People think rocket science is complex and glamorous. Well it’s not. I’ve just spent all morning measuring the Presidents missile.”

Seddon then went on to reveal that he will be accompanying Mr Trump on his visit to Russia in a few weeks. It will be Trump’s “first” meeting with President Putin.

Seddon said, “They want me to go to Russia because the FSB have detailed records on the size of Kim’s missile. I’m going to review the documents to compare to Trumps missile. Then I have to measure Putin’s missile to see how that compares to Trumps. 2 degrees and a PhD for this. I’m a Fellow of the Royal Society of Chemistry for Gods sake and I’m doing this. If Putin takes his shirt off I’m getting the hell out of there.”

If that’s successful it’s understood Mr Trump may stop in France to inspect President Macrons missile followed by a short hop to Britain to inspect Theresa May’s Trident. Nigel Farage offered to show Mr Trump a trident but the Government told him no.


In other developments, the Whitehouse has refused to confirm or deny reports that Trump demanded to measure Benjamin Netanyahus missile but was rebuffed when Netanyahu denied ever possessing any form of missile.