Spanish Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy wins European Thundercunt of the year award
The Spanish Prime Minister, Mariano Rajoy, was thrilled to learn last night that he has won the coveted European Thundercunt of the Year Award...
King Joffrey to perform Iain Duncan Smith knighting ceremony
Joffrey I Baratheon, King of the Andals and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms and Protector of the Realm is to perform...
Kim Jong Un and Donald Trump to measure micro-willies at summit
Thin-skinned, narcissistic, alternative-reality dwelling clown Donald Trump and "Nuclear" lunatic Kim-Jong Un are to make history by meeting later in the year to engage...
Turkish referendum definitely not rigged, says head of the Turkish Electoral Commission Recep Erdogan
The Head of the Turkish Electoral Commission has put to rest rumours of vote rigging in Sunday's referendum to give almost unlimited powers to...
RAF successfully destroy evidence of UK chemicals exports
Targeted strikes destroy invoices, with only minor collateral damage to Syrian accountants.
RAF Bomber Command confirmed the series of raids sanctioned by the May government...
Donald Trump to join list of ‘self-aware’ animals after recognising himself in a mirror
US President Donald Trump joined the list of animals capable of self-awareness yesterday, following reports that he may have finally recognised himself in a...
Trump aide sacked after misspelt memo advised him to secure the “rapist vote”
It emerged that a senior aide has been dismissed after a spelling mistake caused a schism in Presidential campaign.
Kennedy files reveal he is definitely dead
The publication of nearly 3,000 previously classified files relating to the assassination of John F Kennedy in 1963 reveals that the former US President...
Lego let go of Trump
It has been revealed this week that toy manufacturing giants Lego will not produce a figure of president elect Donald Trump.
Many have regarded this...
Get your hands out of Ivanka’s knickers, White House orders media
White House press secretary Sean "Ginger" Spicer has issued an ultimatum to the US media in the wake of the growing row over the...
South African Scientist Discovers Free Non-Polluting Energy Source
Imagine the scenario: you are in a pub, when a local starts spouting racist nonsense. You have an overwhelming desire to stand up and...
Donald Trump shits on White House floor after learning Obama uses toilets
News is emerging this morning that Donald Trump has started defecating on the floor like a dog after learning that Barack Obama uses toilets.
Several...
Top Vatican paedophiles and the Pope claim Transgender people are ‘crime against God’
Frock wearing top Catholic wizard Pope Francis has decided that transgender people are a crime against God.
"They teach children -children!- that they can choose...
Trump to remove all right-wing terrorists from FBI watch-list in Operation Anti-Schindler
Donald Trump had been criticised by many for not denouncing the actions of the right-wing protests in Charlottesville. Then he declared there were people...
Carolinians told to evacuate to avoid category 4 Trump visit
Residents of the US State of Carolina have been warned to evacuate due to the threat of a category 4 visit from Donald Trump.
State Governor,...
Trump wears tinfoil hat to stop Obama hearing his thoughts…
President Donald J. Trump has come up with an ingenious solution to prevent Obama from ‘spying on his thoughts’. He now wears a tinfoil...
