Ryanair cancels all flights to Russia

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Ryanair have announced today that it is cancelling all flights to Russia in 2018. The move that will be affecting almost no Irish passengers between...
Latest Trump Campaign Poster

Trump Campaign Seeks Divine Intervention

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The Trump campaign appears to have taken an unprecedented new course today, with the release of a series of posters on social media. The posters...
Trump Golf Twitter

FBI reveals to Trump evidence of a golf course at Chernobyl

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The FBI have allegedly revealed the location of a secret golf course in Chernobyl to Donald Trump today. One FBI spokesman said, "POTATUS was on...

“I wasn’t wanking, I was self-isolating.” Paris Mayor candidate caught on video.

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Benjamin Griveaux dropped out of the race to become the next Mayor of Paris after video emerged appearing to show him making love to...
Book

Modern Day Presidential latest euphemism for complete and utter numpty, say linguists

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As Humpty Dumpty said, "When I use a word, it means whatever I want it to mean." Clearly in a world of self-reductible horseshit,...

Specsavers Official Sponsors Of WWIII

Specsavers has announced it has signed a two-year deal as official sponsors of the forthcoming World War Three, with effect from mid November. The company...
Queue

Border Free Travel sounds like a good idea, says Brexit voter who queued four...

31
A Brexit voter who spent four hours queueing in passport control has suggested that maybe border free travel in Europe is a good thing. Jo...

Nuclear Football replaced with state of the art 1979 Speak and Spell

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The Secret Service and senior members of the National Security Council have taken drastic steps to toughen US Nuclear launch protocols during Donald Trump's presidency by replacing the Nuclear Football with 1979 Speak and Spell.

Child struggling with his job watches a kid with a lawnmower

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A child struggling to do his job took time out of his day to watch a kid push a lawn mower at the White House the other day.

Donald Trump hires Hugo Boss to design new ‘Cabinet Uniform’

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The controversial decision to hire Hugo Boss was openly discussed by The President-elect, Donald J. Trump, on Good Morning America yesterday during a catwalk...
Scaramucci

I only just learned how to spell Scaramucci and he’s been fucking fired, complains...

18
A highly paid and widely syndicated satirist has complained about the firing of the White House Head of Communications Antony Scarymuchly, as he’s only...
Guns for sale

Mass shootings are an unsolvable problem says country with a mass shootings problem

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A country that has a really serious problem with deranged lunatics buying really big guns and shooting dozens of strangers has publicly said it...

Trump gives world a ‘pearl necklace’ as withdrawal does not stop emissions

President Donald J. Trump will keep his promise not to come in the world’s mouth and insisted he would squirt his emissions onto the...
Golden sceptre

Trump orders Fabergé selfie-stick for inauguration

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In preparation for his inauguration ceremony, President elect Trump has commissioned Fabergé, the esteemed and historic jewellery makers to the Russian emperors, to craft...
RAF Typhoon

What could possibly go wrong, asks West

Western leaders have suggested that nothing could possibly go wrong by attacking Syria and this time will definitely be different to Iraq, Afghanistan and...
Gun held in front of American flag

Trump makes it compulsory to carry guns in US

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President Donald Trump has apparently just signed a new executive order making it compulsory for American citizens to carry guns about them at all...

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