FBI

There was nothing to tip us off about that bloke who bought 33 guns...

1
The FBI have reiterated that there were absolutely no clues that a bloke who bought thirty three semi-automatic rifles in one year might have...

Britain to join new ‘European Federation’ after Brexit

0
EXCLUSIVE: With Britain poised to trigger Article 50 and put the wheels irreversibly in motion to finally leave the European Union, a leaked home office...

German families to heat homes using hot air from Donald Trump

0
German families are to use the hot air that emanates from Donald Trump to heat their homes. The news was broken by the German Government...
Happy Children

Tower Block residents look forward to less health and safety legislation post Brexit

7
A recent survey of tenants living in firetrap and substandard accommodation has showed overwhelming support for abolishing laws designed to protect them. The survey for...
Time Magazine

Trump joins Time Magazine “Person of the Year” club

In a move in keeping with the utter shit show that has been 2016, Time Magazine has named the orange baboon Donald Trump "Person...
Pope and Trump

Pope Officiates At Funeral For US Democracy

1
There was not a dry eye in the house today as Donald Trump, and the special ladies in his life, attended the funeral for...
Trump voters deface police recruitment poster with Trump Sticker

Trump voters deface Police posters with Trump stickers

0
Police Officers in Bumshart Nebrahoma were furious to discover that recruitment posters around the town had been defaced with pictures of Donald Trump. The multi-million...
Donald Trump

People hoping absolute power will moderate narcissistic bully

0
Political analysts are speculating that now Donald Trump is leader of the free world his personality will metamorphose into that of a wise leader...
Kardashian

Aleppo Children launch crowdfunding campaign to replace Kim Kardashian jewellery

0
Children in Aleppo have called for an official Day of Mourning as they grieve in solidarity with the Kardashian family for the loss of...

Heroic arsonist awarded posthumous bravery medal for putting out fire

A heroic self-admitted arsonist in Northern Ireland has been awarded a posthumous medal for bravery after spending half a lifetime putting out suspicious looking...

Leave campaigner forced to abandon argument after forgetting what Brexit means

0
Panic today as vocal anti-EU campaigner, Dennis Pigwater, forgot a crucial piece of his argument during an online debate. Dennis, 58, from Rochdale, was engaged...
Royal Navy

Royal Navy ordered to kill any f*cking Frenchman who so much as looks at...

10 Downing Street has ordered the Royal Navy to kill any f*cking Frenchman who so much as looks at a British fish. The order has...
Ladder

Trump’s view on border wall evolves after learning the word ‘ladder’

8
Donald Trump has sensationally dropped his controversial border wall plan, a key election promise, after seeing one of his Mexican labourers use a ladder for the first time.
Brown bear in woods

Bear Cancels Plan To Shit In Woods

Bryan Pickle, an unemployed brown bear, interrupted a meeting at The National History Museum this morning to make a surprise announcement. "I've been thinking about...
Trump Idiotic

I thought they would be white, sighs Trump

President Trump incensed at travelling half way round the world to meet hostages that were not even white Donald Trump has spoken today of his...

Donald Trump Jr upset by chants of ‘lock him up’ from Donald Trump Snr

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Donald Trump Jr has allegedly complained that President Trump keeps chanting 'lock him up' at him. Trump Junior made a complaint to a White House...

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