Spirit of 2016 alive and well after gunman dressed as Santa kills dozens in...
2017 is already showing great promise as a dreadful, awful parody of a year following a shootout between police officers possibly disguised as Santa Claus and a gunman disguised as Santa Claus in Turkey.
Governor of Puerto Rico seeks Theresa May’s advice on how to rule an island...
The Governor of Puerto Rico, Jorge Aliouet sent an urgent appeal to Prime Minotaur Theresa May tonight.
The island of Puerto Rico has been devastated...
Trump claims fitness app data proves he has more troops than Kim Jong-Un
President Donald Trump told the world that "there's nobody better than me on the military" last night as he ushers in new era of...
World “back on track” after Dutch non-Nazi gets 20% of the vote
World leaders have rushed to hail the Dutch general election as the turning point in the history of civilisation. With the rising tide of...
US celebrates Independence Day by ceding from Trump
Secret delegations from the 50 states of the United States of America have agreed a plan to avoid the impeachment of Donald Trump as...
People hoping absolute power will moderate narcissistic bully
Political analysts are speculating that now Donald Trump is leader of the free world his personality will metamorphose into that of a wise leader...
Nuttall Claims Best Actor At Oscars
Armenian born British Actor Constantine Felangi, better known by his stage name of Paul Nuttall, seized the coveted golden statue for Best Actor at...
England ready for Adelaide Ashes Test
Ahead of the second Ashes Test which has just started in Adelaide, England captain Joe Root sought to defuse the simmering tension between the...
Top Vatican paedophiles and the Pope claim Transgender people are ‘crime against God’
Frock wearing top Catholic wizard Pope Francis has decided that transgender people are a crime against God.
"They teach children -children!- that they can choose...
Royal Navy ordered to kill any f*cking Frenchman who so much as looks at...
10 Downing Street has ordered the Royal Navy to kill any f*cking Frenchman who so much as looks at a British fish.
The order has...
White House Press Office denies denying denials of denials denying denials
The White House Press Office has issued a fresh set of denials denying denials of denials denying denials.
"We knew about Mr Trump's links to...
IKEA founder funeral delayed because man won’t look at instructions
The funeral of IKEA founder Ingvar Kamprad has been delayed by several days as staff at the funeral parlour attempt to assemble his coffin....
Judge increases Shkreli’s prison sentence by 5000%
Disappointed with the complete undervaluing of his sentence, disgraced former Hedge Fund Manager Martin Shkreli has insisted his prison sentence up by 5000% up...
Canadian Diver Finds America’s Lost “Self Respect”
A commercial diver may have discovered the lost & decommissioned US “Self Respect” off the coast of Canada.
Virginia to ban books instead of burning them
Parents from the Virginia School District have called for an immediate ban on all novels that contain the n-word.
To Kill a Mockingbird, Of Mice...
Trump Named Person of the Year by Shit Hair Magazine
In an unpresidented turn of events, one of Donald Trump's tweets was proven to be correct today after Shit Hair Magazine declared him person...
