Specsavers Official Sponsors Of WWIII

Specsavers has announced it has signed a two-year deal as official sponsors of the forthcoming World War Three, with effect from mid November. The company beat off stiff competition from other brands keen to associate...

We tried democracy and frankly it’s not for us, Spanish government tells voters

The Prime Minister of Spain has told voters that democracy isn't for them and it refuses to recognise the result of a referendum on Catalonian independence. Catalonia, which is Spain's answer to Scotland, has...

British Tomahawks Launched As Part Of U.S. Strike Hit Aledo

It has been revealed that as part of Donald Trump's assault on Syria, two British missiles were launched. These missiles were said to be targeted at Aleppo, but in fact hit the small municipality...
Donald Genius Trump

Kim Jong Un and Donald Trump to measure micro-willies at summit

Thin-skinned, narcissistic, alternative-reality dwelling clown Donald Trump and "Nuclear" lunatic Kim-Jong Un are to make history by meeting later in the year to engage in a micropenis dick-measuring competition, it has been confirmed. The...
Geert Wilders

World “back on track” after Dutch non-Nazi gets 20% of the vote

World leaders have rushed to hail the Dutch general election as the turning point in the history of civilisation. With the rising tide of global populism, the election of Donald Duck as United States...

Donald Trump commemorative jigsaws to have missing pieces by design

The White House has confirmed that the new range of Trump jigsaw puzzles, commemorating the President's achievements in office, are deliberately missing several pieces. The release of the puzzles is timed to capitalise on Trump’s...

I don’t need no intelligence, I got this far without none says Trump

Donald Trump confounded satirists again this week after sensationally declaring that he doesn't need intelligence as he has managed to get this far without it.
angry man

Swearing Increasing Exponentially Since Trump’s Inauguration

Use of swear words has increased dramatically since Donald Trump’s inauguration, a study has shown. Since the 20th of January, the average number of swear words heard in everyday conversation has been doubling on a daily...

Trump asks to buy Greenland after hearing it is actually white

President Trump has indicated his strong interest in buying Greenland from the Danish.  The move has shocked US analysts as it comes just weeks after a national security summit where Trump had...
Gun held in front of American flag

Fatal logic feedback loop kills five more Americans

America has once again been proved right as yet another mass shooting takes place in shopping mall and nobody armed inside could shoot the shooter. The tragic news that at least 5 people have been...

Britain to join new ‘European Federation’ after Brexit

EXCLUSIVE: With Britain poised to trigger Article 50 and put the wheels irreversibly in motion to finally leave the European Union, a leaked home office email reveals government plans post Brexit. The email, which was forwarded...

May sets UK up for long March to Brexit

Theresa May’s Conservative government have quite literally meddled with time in their pursuit of successfully completing Brexit according to their timetable. The Conservative party used their parliamentary majority to force through the ‘British Calendar Act’, giving Theresa May...

Charlie Brooker commits suicide whilst writing his 2016 Wipe

The much loved satirist repeatedly smashed his face into his own coffee table whilst reading through a draft of his hugely anticipated show. In the annual show, Brooker was famous for dissecting the previous year...

US celebrates after number of days so far this year overtakes number of mass...

Despite this mornings massacre in Virginia, Americans are celebrating today as June 1st marks 152 days into the year and only 150 mass shootings. "It's super! I genuinely can't remember the last time the number...

New American National Anthem Unveiled As ‘Donald Donald Uber Alles’

The United States is getting a new national anthem, it has been announced. An executive order has been signed replacing the old anthem, The Star-Spangled Banner, with a new song, Donald, Donald Uber Alles. When...
Hot dog

G20 Crisis as Trump eats hot dogs in Hamburg.

President Donald Trump caused outrage in Hamburg, Germany today, eating hot dogs and apple pie and drinking root beer all flown in with him on Airforce One.    President Trump is in Germany to...

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