Trump barred from White House toilets
President Donald Trump has been the first victim of his cancellation of orders compelling universities and other institutions to respect personal identity.
Although rescinding the orders was...
Russia and China back UN call for Kim Jong Un to be sent to...
The UN has finally received the backing of both Mummy and Daddy as Russia and China backed the call for serious punishment to be...
Turkey pardoned by Trump beats him at scrabble
A Turkey that was pardoned by Donald Trump for Thanksgiving has beaten him at scrabble.
Traditionally a turkey is pardoned by the serving President just...
Putin joins America in suffering from Trumpgret
Relations between the US and the Russian Federation have deteriorated since Trump became president, says Vladimir Putin.
"Listen, sweetie dahling, I thought rigging the elections...
ISIS leader admits 2014 invasion was just a stag do that ‘got a bit...
WITHIN THE LAST HOUR the leader of the so-called Islamic State group, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, has issued a statement admitting that the whole thing was...
Not being liked by Vladimir Putin IS natural causes, confirms coroner
The UK police have admitted that perhaps they had jumped to a hasty conclusion after coroners concluded that a Russian businessman who strangled himself...
Jeremy Corbyn reveals plan to become Iranian Ayatollah
In a surprising announcement, Jeremy Corbyn has said he plans to become Ayatollah in a bid to replace Ayatollah Ali Khamenei in Iran.
A spokesman...
Ireland elects first openly sober prime minister
Leo Varadkar made history yesterday by winning the leadership election of the Fine Gael Party to become the first openly sober Taoiseach (Prime Minister) in Irish history.
Royal Navy ordered to kill any f*cking Frenchman who so much as looks at...
10 Downing Street has ordered the Royal Navy to kill any f*cking Frenchman who so much as looks at a British fish.
The order has...
EU offers bribe of better UK weather if we remain
The European Union, desperate for the UK to remain, have said that the proposed European Standard Weather system due to come into operation early...
Elon Musk offers POTUS a ticket to ride his rocket
Sources close to the White House have revealed that Elon Musk has today offered Donald Trump a ride on the next Falcon Heavy rocket.
The...
Britain to join new ‘European Federation’ after Brexit
EXCLUSIVE: With Britain poised to trigger Article 50 and put the wheels irreversibly in motion to finally leave the European Union, a leaked home office...
ISIS Second In Command Killed Again
The Daily Express has reported for the eighth time this month the death of so called Islamic State's second in command.
"He was killed by...
Not enough guns in America according to experts
In the aftermath of the shocking shooting of children and teachers in a Florida High School, Americans have been quick to point out there...
Dumpster fires unhappy about comparisons to US Democracy
Skip fires around the world have declared they are unhappy with being compared to the US democratic process.
President Trump wins golf tournament with hole in one on final difficult windmill
Donald Trump has begun his seventeen day summer vacation on a high after winning an international competition at his private golf course in New...
