Trump supporter accidentally extinguishes trainers with own tears
"Wild" Bill Board, an American protesting at an advert for trainers was unable to get his shoes to burn today because the tears he...
Conspiracy theorists concerned nobody might be in charge after all
American conspiracy theorists heads are exploding at an alarming rate as the two main presidential candidates get more and more terrible.
"Up until yesterday I was...
Am I Mexican? Ask Trump voters after he says USA will pay for Wall
The recently announced decision that the wall between Mexico and the USA will be built using American taxpayers money under a piece of legislation...
Donald Trump commemorative jigsaws to have missing pieces by design
The White House has confirmed that the new range of Trump jigsaw puzzles, commemorating the President's achievements in office, are deliberately missing several pieces.
The...
Condoms are a commie liberal plot to give everybody AIDS according to Trump VP
Revelations of comments made by Donald Trump's running mate, the 'Caucasian Executioner of Indiana', Mike Pence show that Governor Pence might not know how...
Donald Trump tests positive for IQ-19
Despite being the healthiest individual ever elected to the Presidency, reports are emerging that Donald Trump has tested positive for IQ-19.
Harold Bornstein, Trump's former...
Donald Trump arrives in Germany and says ‘Ich bin ein Binliner’ Berlin agrees
President Donald Trump landed in Germany Sunday morning to kick off the first leg of his 12-day trip to Europe.
Trump held a surprise press...
IOC Vote Against New American Sport in 2020 Olympics
The USA's hopes to add another pointlessly American sport to the 2020 Olympic have been dashed by the IOC due to concerns over the...
Boy Scouts of America deny meeting Donald Trump
The Boy Scouts of America have issued a statement denying meeting Donald Trump.
“It never happened. It's fake news folks.” The statement begins.
“Only a sick,...
Audi driver becomes first in space after tailgating Tesla into orbit
A Rochdale man has become the first Rochdale resident to go into space.
Ted Skeat, 48 achieved the feat by tailgating a Tesla car on...
Black Cops to shoot unarmed white civilians in controversial Charlotte anti-racism plan
Charlotte Police Department have unveiled a controversial yet utterly foolproof plan to combat claims that their police force is institutionally racist.
They're going to let...
Trump rushed to John Hopkins with severe burns
Donald Trump is said to be in a stable but critical condition this morning after being rushed to hospital suffering from self inflicted third...
Mike Pence unhappy ‘in transition’
Vice-President elect Mike Pence is expected to ask Donald Trump to move him to another area after becoming unhappy as part of the incoming Republican’s transition...
Donald Trump blames it on the sunshine, the moonlight and the good times
Donald Trump is blaming pretty much everything for his sudden lack of a sex-life, it has emerged.
Sources close to the president have informed the...
ISIL in talks with Amazon over drone deliveries deal
An email has surfaced, from an anonymous source claiming to be from within Amazon, which suggests that the international distribution leviathan is in secret...
Playboy Bunnies surprised to find Hugh Hefner stiffer than usual
Notorious Bachelor and soft core pornographer Hugh Hefner was pronounced dead this morning at his home, the Playboy Mansion, Los Angeles.
Early reports indicate that...
