Theresa May

Theresa May admits using ‘BREXOMATHICS’ to calculate number of overstaying foreign students

11
"It's so simple, you take a real number and keep doubling it until everyone's eyes light up," explained May pointing out that it worked...
Sergei Lavrov

Sergei Lavrov Trump’s ‘Top Choice’ for new FBI Director

0
Sources within the Trump administration have downplayed rumours that Russian diplomat Sergei Lavrov is in the running to become the next Director of the...
Angry

Everybody is an expert all of a sudden, complains Norn Iron

Unusual moment of unity sweeps province. “Yous, yous only gives a shite if it affects yous,” a spokeswoman said today. “Unless something happens on the...

Shit closer to hitting fan than yesterday

0
Analysts and experts of faecal matters are saying that the shit, that was yesterday quite close to the fan, is now a bit closer...
Trump Atos

Atos and DWP pronounce Trump unfit for work

0
A physical and mental health Atos assessment on US President, Donald J Trump, has conclusively found that he is unfit for work, the DWP...
Trump

People no longer surprised when Trump acts like a dick again

7
The repeated outbursts of hatemongering, sabre-rattling or just plain stupidity, emanating from the lips, press statements or usually the tweets, of Donald Trump, have...
Donald Genius Trump

Fat bottomed ape learns to mimic human sounds

0
Washington DC - A seventy year primitive primate that can mimic human words such as hello, bigly, braggadocios, and covfefe is thought to be...

Trump Press Secretary buys fireproof underpants

1
The secret of Press Secretary Sean Spicer's propensity for hyperbolic bullshitacity has been revealed.  He has reportedly been wearing a revolutionary new type of asbestos...
Trump Flag

Trump to introduce Hunger Games-style immigration policy

0
The matter of immigration has often been a contentious issue within politics, particularly American politics of late. During the campaign trail, Donald Trump promised...

Trump claims fitness app data proves he has more troops than Kim Jong-Un

0
President Donald Trump told the world that "there's nobody better than me on the military" last night as he ushers in new era of...
Woman who put cat in a wheelie bin

Woman who put cat in wheelie bin appointed goodwill ambassador to World Wildlife Fund

In a controversial move the World Wildlife Fund has appointed that old woman who was filmed putting a cat in a wheelie bin in...
Trump Bed

Donald Trump insists the song “You’re so vain” was written about him

32
The President of the United States, Donald Trump attended a party in the exclusive Hamptons recently and apparently walked in like he was walking...

Kim and Kanye arrive at White House to plead for Melania’s freedom

0
Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are reported to be heading to the White House in order to plead for Melania Trump's freedom. A press officer...

May sets UK up for long March to Brexit

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Theresa May’s Conservative government have quite literally meddled with time in their pursuit of successfully completing Brexit according to their timetable. The Conservative party used their parliamentary...

Netanyahu Furious After Trump Scores Israel Lower Than Saudi Arabia In TripAdvisor Review

Prime Minister Netanyahu demanded an apology from the White House today. The move came after Donald Trump scored his Israeli short stay lower than Saudi Arabia...
Donald Trump

Donald Trump denies allegations he has rigged erections

9
The allegation was made by Anthony "Fandango" Scaramucci following his removal from post. The President's former tiny-right-hand man lashed out indiscriminately at his former...

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