IOC Vote Against New American Sport in 2020 Olympics
The USA's hopes to add another pointlessly American sport to the 2020 Olympic have been dashed by the IOC due to concerns over the...
Charlie Brooker commits suicide whilst writing his 2016 Wipe
The much loved satirist repeatedly smashed his face into his own coffee table whilst reading through a draft of his hugely anticipated show.
In the...
Giuliani wins Black Man of the Year
Raving Republican Trump-nugget and ex New York mayor, Rudy Giuliani, was voted Black Man of the Year today after it turned...
Jesus definitely said ‘Suffer the little children to come unto me, so I can...
The US Vice President, Mike Pence, has told reporters that the Trump administration's policy of keeping child migrants in cages is definitely consistent with the...
President Trump to ‘grab May by the pussy’
Donald Trump may touch the UK prime minister's vagina in their first private meeting, the president has tweeted.
The straw-haired misogynist wrote, "Excited to meet...
If it wasn’t for these pesky bone spurs I’d have stopped shooter myself, says...
Actual real-life President of the United States Donald Trump told a press conference earlier today that if it wasn't for the debilitating bone spurs...
I thought they would be white, sighs Trump
President Trump incensed at travelling half way round the world to meet hostages that were not even white
Donald Trump has spoken today of his...
Bloke who fancies his daughter lies about woman marrying her brother
A bloke who wants to shag his daughter has suggested that a top US politician should be investigated for marrying her brother.
Incest enthusiast and...
Trump claims fitness app data proves he has more troops than Kim Jong-Un
President Donald Trump told the world that "there's nobody better than me on the military" last night as he ushers in new era of...
Russia to shoot down all planes in Syrian airspace, including their own
This morning Russia released an announcement stating that any and all aircraft entering Syrian airspace will be immediately shot down without warning.
This, apparently,...
Anonymous declare war on ISIS for 4657th time.
The group Anonymous have today declared war on ISIS for the 4657th time.
A spokesman for the group said, "ISIS should prepare for a fate...
?Kim Jong Un invents universal cure
The secretive state of North Korea has managed to cure most illnesses from the common cold to cancer, it has been revealed.
Ishit Yu Not,...
Harvey Weinstein apologises for James Corden jokes
Hollywood millionaire Harvey Weinstein has said he is "truly sorry" for cracking jokes about James Corden at a black tie charity dinner in Los...
Steve Bannon ‘resigns’ to spend more time with his prejudices
Steve Bannon has announced that he'll now have more time to be with his prejudices following his sacking by mutual consent earlier today.
A White...
Ireland elects first openly sober prime minister
Leo Varadkar made history yesterday by winning the leadership election of the Fine Gael Party to become the first openly sober Taoiseach (Prime Minister) in Irish history.
Donald Trump shits on White House floor after learning Obama uses toilets
News is emerging this morning that Donald Trump has started defecating on the floor like a dog after learning that Barack Obama uses toilets.
Several...
