Queen to greet Donald Trump with narwhal tusk

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Buckingham Palace has refused to confirm rumors that the Queen will greet Donald Trump with a narwhal tusk during his visit to the UK...
Surprised Santa

Santa to be denied entry to U.K. under proposed points system

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Santa is to be denied entry to the UK under the new points based immigration system. A Home Office spokesman told us, "The system...
Gun held in front of American flag

Fatal logic feedback loop kills five more Americans

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America has once again been proved right as yet another mass shooting takes place in shopping mall and nobody armed inside could shoot the...
Pope and Trump

Pope Officiates At Funeral For US Democracy

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There was not a dry eye in the house today as Donald Trump, and the special ladies in his life, attended the funeral for...

Pathetic snowflake cries over claim less guests at his party than other

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Little spoilt toddler Donald again could be heard from across Washington today, as he wailed and screamed about other children having more guests at...

Farage takes on Eurovision

In a shock move today, the rubber faced, racist, people's champion Nigel Farage has announced his intentions to represent Great Britain in next year's...

UK border agency given right to conduct posthumous deportations

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The UK border agency has been given the green light to start deporting the interred remains of people not born in the UK, a...
Harvey Weinstein

Harvey Weinstein apologises for James Corden jokes

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Hollywood millionaire Harvey Weinstein has said he is "truly sorry" for cracking jokes about James Corden at a black tie charity dinner in Los...
Dumpster Fire

Dumpster fires unhappy about comparisons to US Democracy

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Skip fires around the world have declared they are unhappy with being compared to the US democratic process.
water cannon

German Police deploy hydration wagons to cool off crowd outside G20 summit

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Police in Hamburg Germany have deployed Mobile Hydration Wagons in an effort to cool down overheated and thirsty crowds gathered out side the G20...
School class

AMERICANS! How to maximize media outrage over your kid’s devastating school-murder. – Rochdale Herald...

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In the not too distant past, school shootings were the stuff of tabloid dreams, but in a post Sandy Hook world, the circumstances of...

China celebrates start of the year of the rat with a plague

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China is marking the start of the year of the rat with a global plague outbreak.  As spokesman told us, "We wanted a way of...

Man-child chickens out of UK visit because people said mean things about him

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Man-child and completely stable genius Donald Trump has reportedly cancelled his planned visit to the UK next month, according to the White House. Trump was...
Gaza

Israel celebrates Eurovision win by bombing Gaza strip

Israel has celebrated winning the Eurovision song contest with a massive aerial bombardment of the Gaza Strip and shooting dead some Palestinian civilians. Nine Palestinian...
Harvey Weinstein

Harvey Weinstein one step closer to presidency after filing for bankruptcy

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The New York studio co-founded by disgraced film producer Harvey Weinstein is to file for bankruptcy, in a move sure to put him a...

Spain Says ‘Direct Rule Impossible’ after Entire Catalan Population Hides

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Spanish Prime-Minister Marion Rajoy has tonight been unable to suspend the Catalonian Parliament after their leader along with the rest of the population went...

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