English All Xenophobic Wankers – says Nicola Sturgeon without Hint of Irony
Nicola Sturgeon will today claim that “Godless English Imperial filth” are using Brexit as a “licence for xenophobia” and that the English “are secretly working to not be considered Wankers by absolutely everyone.”
Turkish referendum definitely not rigged, says head of the Turkish Electoral Commission Recep Erdogan
The Head of the Turkish Electoral Commission has put to rest rumours of vote rigging in Sunday's referendum to give almost unlimited powers to...
Tommy Robinson begins campaign to have himself deported from Spain
Tommy Robinson has told the Spanish Government that he should be thrown out of Spain as he's a foreign criminal unable to speak Spanish.
A...
Trump allowed to leave Whitehouse on his own for first time
President Trump has arrived in Saudi Arabia on the first leg of his International tour.
Before landing Mr Trump told the Herald, "We have much in...
Trump demands phone number for Ghostbusters after being visited by three spirits
President of the United States of America, Donald Trump is demanding to know how to get in touch with the Ghostbusters, it has been...
Trump: tinfoil a good defence against mind control rays
President-elect Donald J Trump has announced a groundbreaking and cutting edge technology to combat the growing menace of conspiracies facing the US.
He is well...
Judge increases Shkreli’s prison sentence by 5000%
Disappointed with the complete undervaluing of his sentence, disgraced former Hedge Fund Manager Martin Shkreli has insisted his prison sentence up by 5000% up...
I only just learned how to spell Scaramucci and he’s been fucking fired, complains...
A highly paid and widely syndicated satirist has complained about the firing of the White House Head of Communications Antony Scarymuchly, as he’s only...
Official White House Nativity scene to feature baby Jesus with Trump’s face
The first image of the official White House nativity scene has been released, and it is already causing quite a stir.
Every character in the...
May sets UK up for long March to Brexit
Theresa May’s Conservative government have quite literally meddled with time in their pursuit of successfully completing Brexit according to their timetable.
The Conservative party used their parliamentary...
Gun reform fever sweeps America after social media backing for ELC mandatory insurance bill
After millions of tweets by gun lobbyists, alt righters and other winners at life, Congress has responded with draft gun reform proposals.
Some...
PG tips bribery scandal uncovered as Tim Farron makes ‘put the kettle on’ jibe
In the wake of the Leaders debate on the BBC, it has been alleged that lib dem leader Tim Farron was paid a substantial amount...
Canada recognises the Alamo as capital of Mexico
Donald Trump has given a calm and measured response to news that Canada intends to move it's Mexican embassy to the Alamo.
Just kidding. Trump...
Remain campaigners thwarted by import shortage of “I Told You So”s
Anti-Brexit campaigners are suffering from a shortage of "I Told You So"s, as "Project Fear" rapidly swings into "Operation I Told You So", as...
Trump and Kim Jong Un to meet on Love Island
A rearranged summit between Donald Trump and Kim Jong Un will take place on Love Island.
The news comes amid speculation that a high ranking...
ISIS claim responsibility for Windows 10 update
ISIS have released a statement taking responsibility for the latest Windows 10 update.
The religious group released a statement today saying, "The recent major update of...
